Wednesday, October 22, 2008

Finding Time to Spend Time

Tuesday is the hubby's day off and the one day when, generally, he refuses to do overtime. The hubby works alternate weekends but recently, even on the weekends he's off, he's been picking up an extra shift and sometimes even working doubles. [It's great that DH's job (he's a blood bank tech) offers the flexibility and opportunity to work as much as he wants. It's also a huge blessing that his job is relatively secure. I always think it's comforting to know that both of us have professions that are always needed and so we will always have work. We both also have skills outside of our professions that could theoretically (and in my case, as I've come to learn, very theoretically) keep us afloat if the jobs were no more or if we needed to augment our income (I've been having a heck of a time finding ways to make money that doesn't require me finding childcare). I mean, my main worry in this economic crisis is not necessarily that there will be no work but actually that the dollar you make working will continue to be stretched and stretched and stretched till it can't take it any more!] Anyway, that leaves us (I mean me and him) precious little time just by ourselves. I think it's different for men and women. DH seems to think hanging out with the two Z's as a family is enough and doesn't really place an emphasis on our time. I do. It seems I constantly remind him but, your girl tries damn hard not to nag so I often just let it go. But I highly value our alone time and my own personal time. This is why you find me blogging, reading or knitting at 2:40 in the morning instead of taking my self to bed.

Anyway, tonight I fell asleep while putting the boys down. My alarm clock didn't phase me--I slept right through it (I thought I told it to "snooze" but clearly I turned it off). DH says he tried to wake me but I was out cold and he thought I needed the sleep. I have to say, I was a little peeved. I really do wait in anticipation all day Tuesday in hopes of spending a couple of hours with him. I just wished he would have gotten me up at all costs. I felt so let down! But alas, I don't think he gets that spending time with him when I can is more important than sleep to me. I can sleep tomorrow, or the day after or the day after that--he'll be at work. This is one expectation, it seems, that I'm going to have to let go. It's just not realistic with two small children. (Although, I'll be completely honest, I wonder when I hear about couples married for 25 years and then getting divorced, is this what happened? Did they get so caught up in the kids and making ends meet and all the knitty-gritty of life that they didn't take time out for each other? Didn't make it a priority? Is that why they grew apart? Will that happen to us?)

So, I'm up. Blogging. Alone.

Who knew it could be so hard to find time to spend time?

2 comments:

Hagar's Daughter said...

Hi Chi Chi,
I'm not the only one up late I see.

I have a similar situation going on here. The Husband and I work odd hours - I work nights and he travels. We have different off days, but because of our shedules we can spend time together. On Sundays I want to spend time with him, but he'll let me sleep all day until evening when it's near time for him to sleep. When I ask why he says that he doesn't like to disturb me when I'm sleeping. Sunday is my first day off and yes I'm tired, but I don't want to sleep all day.

Next week he says that if I fall asleep too early he'll wake me up. Am I that bad of a wife? I don't think I am - LOL.

(BTW, once blogrolling site is up I'll fix the link to your blog.)

OG, The Original Glamazon said...

Man this line is so beautiful to me But alas, I don't think he gets that spending time with him when I can is more important than sleep to me.

I think you are right when you grow a part that is what you miss. That is what you miss!

Maybe you should tell him. I think its great with kids, and life that you still get bummed that you missed a few hours alone time with him.

-OG

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