Tuesday, October 14, 2008

Feeling Tearful

Accompanied by my recurrent hair breakage has been some serious scalp issues--a scalp that feels inflamed (but doesn't look it), itches like crazy, flakes and scabs and then leads to accelerated hair loss/thinning. I have been to doctors and all have said that nothing is wrong. I thought that with the last set of locks, I had figured out the key to the scalp issues and felt real joy and confidence. I was washing more frequently with a whole different shampoo (I had been using diluted Dr. Bronner's), had figured out a good oil combination (jojoba and shea butter) and was doing occasional apple cider vinegar rinses (1 part ACV to 4 or 5 parts warm water). This seemed to keep my scalp healthy although my hair was still breaking. Trust me, with the emotional pain of hair that just won't stay on my head, the fact that I was not in physical pain was priceless.

Until a few days ago. The flare-up started as usual. It felt like a dry spot--maybe an area I had forgotten to oil after washing my hair. It snowballed into an all-out fiasco. My scalp is throbbing like someone threw acid on it. The hair is falling out. There are scabs galore. And.it.itches. Like lice or chicken pox. I washed again today in hopes of putting things back in balance. It is so tender that I cannot even imagine putting apple cider on it no matter how diluted. So far, it is at least manageable. I can't wear my silk scarf to bed and I've been going out with my head uncovered (which is a very strange feeling for me).

And I just feel so tearful and upset. How can it be that I am facing such issues with my scalp and hair? At least if my hair must be short, if it insists that it won't grow, is it too much to ask that my scalp be healthy?


I was reading on nappturality.com about not taking no for an answer from the dermatologist and perhaps getting a biopsy of my scalp. I feel desperate now. But I just don't know if I'm willing go that route of getting a biopsy, some diagnosis and the subsequent pharmaceuticals I would have to take.

Monday, October 13, 2008

Chris"thief"er Come-Bust-Us Day

Every year on this day, I wonder why in the world there is a holiday to celebrate Columbus and his exploits. He didn't do anything. Well, it can be argued that he did open up the West to European colonization. European colonization, in my estimation, is hardly cause for celebration. Look at all the suffering the European colonist/settler has left in his wake--near elimination of whole groups of people either by disease or the gun. And the laying of the foundation for the trans-Atlantic slave trade (the holocaust of African people).

You know, it is the gross lies and misinformation that children get in school that is one of the underlying motivating factors for why I would love to homeschool. These lies get glossed over and taught as fact and no one, it seems, is interested in questioning the accepted treatment of important/influential individuals in history textbooks. I, for one, did not learn about the "radical" Malcolm X and Marcus Garvey until I was in college and the information I did learn about Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. never once talked about his more radical turn towards the end of his life. Steve Biko? Kwame Nkrumah? Other Pan-Africanists? No, I never learned about these folks. My history lessons, unfortunately, were always overwhelmingly Eurocentric. Columbus, my friends, sailed the ocean blue in 1492 "discovering" a land that was already inhabited and "proving" that the world was round even though many people already knew that. And for that, we drop everything to celebrate him.

As long as Malcolm X is not celebrated, as long as Ida B. Wells is not celebrated, Booker T. Washington, and the list goes on--as long as these key and influential figures in American history are not celebrated, Columbus Day is something all people of color should actively decry, in my opinion.

Every year on this day, I make sure to play Columbus by Burning Spear.
I an' I all I know
I an' I all I say
I an' I reconsider
I an' I see upfully that:

Cristopher Columbus is a damn blasted liar
Cristopher Columbus is a damn blasted liar, yes Jah

He say 'im that he's the first one
Who discover Jamaica, I an' I say that:
What about the Awarak indians ?
And the few black man who were down here before him ?
The indians could'n hang on a long long
Here comes black man an'oman an' children
A ina Jam Dung run ya
Whole heap a mix up, mix up
Whole heap a ben up, ben up
Ha fi straighten out

Cristopher Columbus is a damn blasted liar
Cristopher Columbus is a damn blasted liar, yes Jah

What a long stay from home
I an' I longing to go home
Within a red, green an' gold robe
Come on, twelve tribe of Israel
Come on, twelve tribe of Israel
A outa Jam Dung land ya
A whole heap a mix up, mix up
A whole heap a ben up, ben up
Come on, twelve tribe of Israel
Come on, twelve tribe of Israel
A outa Jam Dung land ya, yes Jah

Cristopher Columbus is a damn blasted liar
Cristopher Columbus is a damn blasted liar, yes Jah
He's a liar, yes Jah
He's a liar, yes Jah
Columbus he's a liar, yes Jah

I had hoped this post would have been a bit more eloquent to show how passionately I feel about this day but, alas, I'm tired and my brain is over-worked.

Sunday, October 12, 2008

My Musical Companion this Morning

So glad that even though I'm not fluent in Igbo, I can understand it pretty well and can enjoy our music. :)

New Idea for a story

I've been writing a story in my head. I've already come up with the plot that is loosely based on my experiences vis-a-vis marrying someone of whom my family disapproved. I will need to do some research though. I would like to read about and speak to Muslim women who converted (reverted) as adults especially those who became devout and decided to embrace hijab (head covering/face covering, etc) and what it was like professionally and in terms of family.

My first children's story is edited down from 9 pages to 5. I originally wanted to try to publish it as a book but in light of the fact that a book similar to mine has already been published (although there are, as my friend pointed out, very big differences in the storytelling). I am going to find some magazines geared towards 8-10 year olds and maybe even older and submit the story there. I'm keeping my fingers crossed for it to be published. That would be a huge boost.
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