Tuesday, January 13, 2009

We are 5 years old now!

"Love and Marriage" by Hammer 51012 on Flickr.com
We made 5 years of marriage today. I remember five years ago, on an extremely cold and icy day, we went on down to the justice of the peace and made it official. In these five years, through many challenges and many joys, I have grown more deeply in love with the hubby. Some folks were betting that we wouldn't make it this long but we are still going strong. In this relationship, I have grown by leaps and bounds. The hubby has given me the space to evolve, heal, grow and learn. I think the challenge of being married in your 20s is that you still have a lot of growing up to do. If the hubby were not who he is, it's difficult to say if we'd still be together. But he has loved me through confusion, tears, frustration, realizations both good and bad. I didn't come into this marriage knowing or loving myself completely. Sometimes, I don't even know how I stumbled into marrying such a phenomenal guy. I did learn one thing that I never forget: always follow your gut. I couldn't place a finger on why the attraction was so powerful but I know now . . . this relationship is a safe space, the vehicle through which I've become more authentically, healthily, wholly me. It was divinely ordained. And so I'm so blessed today to be celebrating.

Marriage is togetherness but it is also separateness.

Of course, Kahlil Gibran had something to say (I just re-read The Prophet this weekend so bear with me):

You were born together, and together you shall be forevermore.
You shall be together when white wings of death scatter your days.
Aye, you shall be together even in the silent memory of God.
But let there be spaces in your togetherness
And let the winds of the heavens dance between you.
Love one another but make not a bond of love:
Let it rather be a moving sea between the shores of your souls.
Fill each other's cup but drink not from one cup.
Give one another of your bread but eat not from the same loaf.
Sing and dance together and be joyous, but let each one of you be alone,
Even as the strings of a lute are alone though they quiver with the same music.
Give your hearts, but not into each other's keeping.
For only the hand of Life can contain your hearts.
And stand together, yet not too near together:
For the pillars of the temple stand apart, And the oak tree and the cypress grow not in each other's shadow

I can't imagine life without my beloved. I don't want to. But the most important relationship, the most important marriage is my marriage to myself. It can never end in death or divorce. I will always, always be with me. The most powerful lesson I am meditating on today is that by working on myself, loving myself, fully and completely accepting myself, I am able to give more to my beloved and more to this relationship.

Baby, I love building with you. Love being with you. Love you.

Here's to many, many more blissful years.

4 comments:

80sBaby70sSoul said...

Beautiful! Congrats!

blackgirlinmaine said...

Congrats to you and the mister!

Ensayn1 said...

Congratulations!!!

Chi-Chi said...

Thanks everyone!!

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