Tuesday, September 15, 2009

Being a mother of boys

Has deepened my appreciation for how important fathers are in the equation. Fathers are not optional. Boys need their dads. And if dad is not available, they need a good male figure in their lives. They absolutely require that intangible masculine something that a woman, no matter how attentive and thorough just can't give. And I'm not talking just any old dude in a boy's life. I'm talking about one who shows him how to handle his emotions properly--not afraid to show them but wise about his actions and reactions when under the influence of them. A man who the boy has unshakeable faith in. A man who loves the boy unconditionally and insists on always being there through the good and the bad. He is compassionate, caring, and understanding. Playful yet firm.


Boys, especially boys Z1's age, crave it. And blossom and bloom when they have it. And it hurts my heart to see the shadow of loss and void when I notice a little boy who doesn't have that looking on longingly at my son and his father or another father/son couple.

For sure, we all have different paths in life that make us who we are. But living where I do, I see a disproportionate amount of fatherless boys and I wonder if folks know just how profound that missing element is. Do they care?

And yes, fathers are vital for little girls too but that's for a different post.

Photo Credit: "Father and Son" by WisDoc

Monday, September 14, 2009

What a great weekend!

So I'm still figuring out how to type without my left middle finger . . . but, honestly, this weekend past was one of the greatest weekends ever.

After the stitches and all on Saturday, we went to the thrift store and I found a cute fall jacket and some other useful fall articles for the family. We spent a quiet evening at home and enjoyed ourselves even though because of my hurt finger, pizza for dinner was out of the question and even though we were supposed to go to the zoo Saturday but it rained.

Sunday, though, the sun was shining brilliantly.

I have to make mention of the fact that the hubby's job is really a huge blessing. Overall, he enjoys it, there's room for overtime, and it's not seriously stressful most of the time. Well, the hospital he works for sponsored a free weekend at the zoo for employees and their families. So we got free admission, a $10 food voucher and 10% off a purchase in one of the gift stores. A day at the zoo ended up costing up less than $15 ($5 each for the hubby and Z1 to take a camel ride and $4.05 for a zoo baseball cap for Z1 which he adores and slept in last night). We got to see some beautiful animals and Z2 is old enough now that he can really enjoy watching the animals, which was great. We also saw a nice little (free) show that dramatized the migration of birds in the fall. It was so informative yet so entertaining. I thoroughly enjoyed being with my whole family on such a beautiful day.

The hubby had to work OT so we left in good time--but somehow I didn't feel all rushed. After the hubby was off to work, I just folded some laundry and took care of some odds and ends.

Then I took the boys out again thinking we'd go to a particularly nice playground in one of the local parks that overlooks the Atlantic. I was thinking that maybe since summer is over, we wouldn't have to pay to park. The long line of cars waiting to go in let me know that wasn't the case. I debated paying the$6 but then decided to keep my money in hand. I made a u-turn and thought we'd just go to the small playground we'd passed on the way. I parked close to some homes and let Z1 ride his scooter while Z2 was in the stroller. The playground was really small--no swings even--and pretty much empty so I thought we should just walk while Z1 rode his scooter.

Great idea!

We walked back to the park and got to see the drawbridge lift for a passing boat. Then we walked all around the park and got see the beautiful water and about 3 different wedding parties. Just loveliness all around (Z1 kept saying, "Look at all the princesses!"). We walked for almost an hour. Z1 got lots of practice on his scooter and I got some good exercise in.

I'm not sure why I haven't been doing that regularly. It was so much fun! I really can't stand being at the playground (alone) just standing there pushing a swing or spotting Z2 on the jungle gym. Our walk in the park kept us all engaged and it's something I'm looking forward to doing again and again and again. And I definitely don't mind doing it solo because I don't have to have eyes in the back of my head to keep track of everyone. Good stuff.

So while the weekend started off on a bit of a sour note, it ended really well.

So now it 6:55 AM and both the boys are awake and making a lot of noise. I wonder if I should start my yoga . . . Oh, and I found a whole bunch of "instant play" fitness videos on Netflix. It's great! I don't think I'll be bored for a long time.

Sunday, September 13, 2009

In stitches

Well, I done did it now . . . LoL.

This morning while cutting up carrots for our scrambled tofu breakfast, I sliced a piece of flesh off my left middle finger. It bled. Then bled some more. Then bled more. So off I went to the emergency room, ever so grateful for having health insurance. The wait was not too bad at all since it was early Saturday morning. I received three stitches from a cutie-pie doctor and one tetanus shot from a nice nurse. I imagine the bill will be about $800. Where in God's name would I get that money from without insurance?

My finger is throbbing!!! Ouch!

Gotta get the stitches removed in a week.

There's something to be said for mindfulness. And with a 20 month old screaming to be picked up, it's often hard to achieve. But what a lesson today! I have to try.

And I need to stop rushing. Sheesh.

How's that for a fun Saturday??

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