Thursday, July 8, 2010

My First Attempt at Basic Artisan Bread

It didn't quite rise the way it was supposed to.  This is kind of the same issue I had with the no-knead bread.  Anyway, it's super tasty but far too dense--an artisan bread is supposed to be light with lots of air holes.  The recipe I used is found in the booklet that came with my Cuisinart food processer.  It is adapted from The Best Bread Ever: Great Home Made Bread Using Your Food Processor by Charles van Over.  I will definitely give it another try at some point but because of the heat, it's not the greatest idea to have the oven on.  I had to stick the dough in the fridge last night . . . so that may have messed up the process.  I'll never know till I try again, making sure to start early in the morning. 

Wednesday, July 7, 2010

At the Altar . . .

So little by little, I've been adding things to my altar to beautify it.  I figure if I'm going to sit there for a time, it should be some place that's beautiful.  

So, it's nice now.  I can't say it's really all tied in, i.e. has a theme, but I like it.  I feel comfortable there.  I purchased the "fruit" today.  It's artificial but it's massively hot right now and real fruit was ripening too quickly.  The bowl was one we've had around for a while that really had no use so I'm happy it's got one now.  Everything else (including my fabulous ottoman) was purchased at the thrift store (including my butsudan).  So all the pieces caught my eye in some way. 

I wish I could spend more time at my altar but there are lots of distractions in my life right now.  Sometimes I feel like if I did spent more time there, I would be more centered and have a bit more clarity about what would make me happy, content and fulfilled and what it is I should really be doing with my life.  Maybe.  Maybe  not. 

Tuesday, July 6, 2010

Full-time mom?

I have been very careful about not calling myself a full-time mom so as not to offend moms who work out of home.  After all, when a mother heads off to work for 8-10 hours daily she does not stop being a mom.  

But over the last few days, I have decided that I'm going to start calling myself a full-time mom.  I mean, this job that I'm doing is endless.  I don't have a quit time.  It's just what I do all the time.  Except when I'm sleeping (and that's not really true unless the boys stay peacefully asleep the whole night).  Or when I'm eking out a few moments in the morning to workout.  And if I were taking care of someone else's children, this would certainly be called a full-time job.  Plus overtime.  Plus extra days off just because of the high stress nature of the job (shrieking kids, fighting, poop). 

The past few days I've been feeling like going to work would be a welcome reprieve.  Now, the line of work I would be doing (teaching), I know, is not a break.  It is hard work that doesn't end at the end of the school day.  And I'm not quite sure what else I could do with my Master's degree in Childhood Education . . . or what else I would want to do with it.  And in this job market?   I know that on the flip side, being a work-out-of home has it's own challenges and frustrations.  I know . . . but I've been feeling pretty challenged and frustrated with this full-time/overtime gig these past few days.  (((sigh)))  I have been impatient.  Not compassionate.  Short.  Mean.  Annoying.  The whole nine.  I feel like I need a moment . . . no, some moments.  And I know that's not realistic so it just keeps grinding on.  

Hopefully in a few days, I'll feel a shift.  Gain some perspective or something.  Right now, it's just . . . what it is. 
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