Thursday, September 16, 2010

Why am I so tired?

The past few weeks I have been exhausted all the time.  Well, not exhausted really.  More like very sleepy.  I can get things done but I really just feel like lying down most of the time.  Today I slept two extra hours and didn't work out this morning at all (not even a 20 minute workout). Then later on I took an hour nap.  I've still been dragging through the day.  Black tea is not doing anything.  And now at 7:45, I'm more than ready to go to bed.  

It's such a puzzle!  I had some blood work done on Tuesday.  I'm going to call tomorrow to see if the doctor has the results.  I've struggled with anemia off and on over the years--even when I was eating red meat.  I can't say that I am eating a lot of good sources of iron--a little here and a little there.  Not sure if I'm meeting the daily requirement.  Maybe I am anemic again.  If so, it's back to the Floradix Floravital Iron and Herbs which during my first pregnanacy worked like a charm.  It's a huge plus that it tastes good and is non-constipating and (obviously) easily absorbable (i.e. it really works).

Sunday, September 12, 2010

i am him and he is me

two evenings ago
i suddenly realized
that i am him and he is me.
dealing with him . . . so incredibly difficult at times. 
i would like to scream
i would like to hit
cooperate. 
damn it.
but i control myself
so he can learn self-control. 
and i'm better able to control myself
because of the acknowledgment
that i am him and he is me

i am working on me
teaching him to work on him
because he is working on me too
he is my karma
i am his karma
our karmic interconnectedness
transcends the eras
and extends across the universes
my love for him
tested to the point of frustration
but unparalleled

the way i have learned to love me
gives me direction as to how to love him
after all, he is a part of me
in the most basic and primal of ways

and just as i fully embrace this thought, this clear and precise thought
he looks me in the eye and says an emphatic, defiant
"no!"

digging deep into the depths of my divine understanding and know-how
i wonder
what the hell did i get myself into?
and what the hell am i to do next?

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