How wide is the ocean??

My good sistren is in Ethiopia. She'll be teaching there for a year. She lived all the way on the other coast so it's not like we saw each other every day or talked on the phone daily. Still, it's a certain gravity to a distance when an ocean and not land divides. I am keeping her high on my list of meditation and sending nothing but positive energy to her. I know we are together in spirit. We always have been but I really miss her!!

Stagnation

I feel like I'm in a holding pattern. In a lot of ways, being a mother to young children, especially being the kind of mother I want to be, is restrictive. It's an "either/or" situation. Because I desire and strive to be an "Earth mama" of sorts, I find that 98% of my life revolves around my children. 98% of my time is devoted to my children. 98% of my energy goes to them. So with the other 2% I've got left, I try to feed me. But that 2% doesn't seem to be enough.

Two percent of 24 hours is exactly .48 hours. That's right. About a half an hour. Thirty minutes a day is generally what I have to myself. Of course, I try to squeeze out more time than that and that's why I'm usually doing my "things" at 3 o'clock in the morning. But that time is not really mine. I'm supposed to be sleeping. But even with the great squeeze I try to accomplish, I find that I'm usually too tired to do the things that would actually make me feel like I'm making progress.

Like editing my two children's books and getting them ready to send to publishers. Like writing chapter 2 of my memoir. Like starting an exercise routine and incorporating more raw foods into my diet so that I can feel better and lose the 40 pounds I'm still holding on to. Like learning more about and starting a Buddhist practice. Like meditating consistently. Like reading the way I need to in order to stay sharp and current in my academic field, in order to stay intellectually stimulated. I'm just too tired.

So I feel like I'm stagnated.

Lemon Squares!

Just a quick entry today . . .

I had some lemons in the fridge that I was going to use to make iced tea. Lately, though, the hubby has been making some delicious sorrel (iced hibiscus flower tea with freshly grated ginger) and it is the perfect, yummy, refreshing summer drink. Anyway, I didn't want the lemons to go bad so I thought I'd make some lemon squares. I've had some problems with this dessert in the past, mainly that it would come out too tart or it wouldn't firm up enough. So today, I was very careful with how much zest and juice I added, I added 3 more tablespoons of flour than the recipe called for, made it early in the morning and put it in the fridge to set and . . . it came out flawlessly. It's a really delicious, simple recipe found here.