Abandoning Ship!

Recently I thought to myself that so many folks who stated that they wanted to homeschool have abandoned ship and joined the school-at-school bandwagon.  I can't fault them.  No way.  We each have our priorities in life.  Each know for our own selves what it is we are willing to forfeit and those things on which we will absolutely not compromise.  If there's one thing life has taught me it's to avoid speaking in absolutes.  Today I may be totally okay giving up something.  Tomorrow may be another story.  So while I'm sad some folks who would have made amazing homeschooling buddies are going the school route, I can understand abandoning ship.  It's a huge responsibility and while there's plenty to gain, there's also a good deal of sacrifice involved. 

But I too am abandoning ship somewhat.  I am abandoning cloth diapering.  Okay, maybe abandoning is a bit too dramatic.  I still intend to cloth diaper at home but I am giving up the fight when it comes to going out.

Z2 is a little over 2.5 years now and he is nowhere near close to learning how to use the toilet.  Z1 learned when he was about Z2's age, maybe a touch older.  I did it by letting him go commando and in 2 weeks, he got the hang of peeing.  By 4 weeks, he'd mastered pooping.  With Z2 though, I can't do the commando thing.  There's just too many moving parts and too much other stuff I have to do.  I can't be running after him with a bottle hydrogen peroxide, cleaning up accidents, and doing multiple clothes changes daily.  So I'm going to have to let Z2 learn to use the toilet at his own time and in his own way.  I heard a piece of advice to do all diaper changes in the bathroom so they associate their elimination needs with the bathroom.  I've been doing this for about two months now and Z2 doesn't seem any closer to using the toilet.  

Anyway, our cloth diapers are really, really, totally on their last leg.  As it is, most of the pocket diapers except for 4 require a cover.  For those who don't know, pocket diapers should not require a diaper cover.  On most of our diapers, the elastic is shot and snaps are falling off.  But we're making do and trying not to purchase anything else in the way of diapers.  I'd been using the 4 good pocket diapers as going out diapers.  Now, however, they are getting too tight so for the past few months, I've just been keeping the bottom snap unsnapped.  I could buy a couple more diapers but really, it was not in my plan to buy any more cloth diapers.  Maybe if there were a chance that there would be more babies . . .

Then it just occurred to me that using cloth diapers when we're out is a hassle.  And I'm tired.  They take up a lot of space, have to be changed more frequently (if I don't want a leak) and I have to lug dirty diapers home.  And I'm just tired.  My enthusiasm has waned.  Significantly.  If I'm using disposable diapers, I can pack one bag that will comfortably hold food, my wallet and stuff, diapers and wipes, and another pair of pants for Z1 and Z2 in case of an accident.  So, I'm going to suck it up and get some disposable diapers for going out.  I may spring for some unbleached, natural diapers but most likely, the diapers will be from Costco.  

Sounds horrible, I know but honestly,  I feel like I have done my part and I need a break.  I'm not trying to put out any extra money getting any more specialized diapers.  Z1 wore cloth diapers until he learned to use the toilet and Z2 will continue to wear cloth at home. 

So yes, I too am abandoning ship in a way.  And joining the ranks of disposable diaper users everywhere!  And it's a relief.  Like I said, everyone has their priorities and my priority (when it comes to diapers) right now is convenience.

Photo Credit

The Dirty on Dirty Cloth Diaper Storage

Typically, when folks think of what to do with dirty diapers, if they want something fancy, they turn to a diaper genie.  It contains the smell like a charm.  If they want something basic, they just toss it in the trash, maybe wrapping it in a plastic bag to contain the smell.

So when I first stepped into the world of cloth diapering, this was one of my biggest questions: how do we store the diapers until washday?  We needed something that would do a good job containing the smell so we knew it had to have a tight lid.  It needed to be big enough to hold a good amount of dirty diapers.  It needed to be kind of small so it could fit in the bathroom since we quickly learned the storing dirty diapers in the bedroom was a stinky idea.  We went through a bunch of different containers, mainly different styles of garbage cans and while some of what we tried were serviceable, none were perfect.

And then while in Target one day looking for a new garbage can, one that would actually be used for garbage, I came across this:  Home Logic Pet Food container.  It was no where near the garbage cans since it is marketed as a "pet food container" complete with a scoop.    But this thing is perfect for the diapers.  It snaps tightly shut and even though it's large enough to hold a lot of diapers, it's small enough to fit in a small area.  And as a plus, I can open it with one hand.  It's perfect.

So there's my recommendation for how to store dirty diapers.

Freecycle Scores, etc . . .

So it appears my diapering days are drawing to a close. As such, I am not trying to put out any more money to buy diapers. But in all honesty, my diapers are on their last leg. I mean, some of them are little more than shreds of fabric held together by my sheer will to make them last. Anyway, thanks to Freecycle, we have some new items to add to the rotation which will hopefully keep us afloat a little longer.

Eight Proraps Trainers

An assortment of inserts/doublers including one Hemparoos insert and two from Motherease (that's Z1's hand--he had to be in the picture even though when I ask him to sit for a picture, he usually scrunches up his face and pitches a fit or runs and hides--go figure)

Two Bummis Super Whisper Wraps

2 Medium Fuzzi Bunz (I'm looking forward to using these as all my Fuzzi Bunz need an additional cover)

I'm thrilled!

On another note, I haven't talked about emergency prep in a while now and while I'm no longer obsessing as I once was, I'm still keeping a close eye on my pantry and my emergency supplies. I realized that while I have our emergency supplies in my house, they are not in one centralized location, i.e. a bag. So I've identified a good bag, one that's not being used for anything, and this weekend I will consolidate all our emergency supplies including change of clothes.

On another note still, I found a wonderful children's book in the thrift store the other called The Wednesday Surprise.

I love when children's books paint pictures of ordinary, working class families. Families where people have to ride the bus and fathers are off at work for days and weeks at time. Where mom works too and grandma has to come babysit. Eve Bunting, one of my favorite children's authors who also penned another favorite of mine Flower Garden, has done it again with The Wednesday Surprise. It's highly recommended and while I don't think Z1 could fully appreciate the book at his age, I'm glad that we've added it to our collection.

I chose the difficult road

It's true. When it comes to parenting, I chose to do things the hard way. And in one of many heart-to-heart conversations, I discovered that this is why the hubby is really through with having children.

You see, except for the fact that the hubby is RastafarI, he is a very middle of the road kind of brother. Not too extreme in any of his beliefs or actions. Me? Well, let's just say that's not how you would describe me. I often marvel at the fact that we actually get along since we are so vastly different. This applies most potently to our parenting.

See, whereas the hubby would have been perfectly happy to slap some Huggies on the baby and call it a day, I wanted to cloth diaper. After a bit of coercing, I got my way. We've been doing the cloth diaper thing now for years and while I loved and still love the idea of it, the truth of the matter is that it's hard work. Lately when Z2 poops, I want to throw the whole mess away not be in the bathroom hovering over the toilet with the diaper sprayer. It's gross. And I'm not really a fan of more laundry. But I can count on having to do a load of diapers every 2-3 days without fail. And there's pressure there too because without clean diapers, well, what's the plan? Elimination communication. (Wow . . . that's a whole other world that I can't even imagine dealing with now.) It's not the easy way.

Whereas the hubby didn't have a problem with the hospital birth of Z1 and the smooth way the insurance paid for it, I did. I really wanted a homebirth. And after weeks of fighting with the insurance company, they agreed to pay half of the midwife's fee. The other half, to the hubby's annoyance, came out of pocket. To him, what was a beautiful experience for me was a huge ball of stress for him . . . right down to the huge stain left on our tan carpet from the birth. It wasn't the easy way.

Then there's breastfeeding . . . he would not have minded in the least giving the boys some formula here and there or even all the time. It's mainly been my thrust to make sure they have received the very best. And as much as I'm thrilled to have been able to do it, I can't deny that it has really disrupted our lives in ways that are difficult to explain fully. Suffice it to say, Z2 wakes up in the morning screaming bloody murder for some milk. The hubby keeps encouraging me to wean. It hasn't been easy.

Then there's circumcision which I'm against and the vaccination issue and the decision to be a stay-at-home mom . . . basically for the hubby, there has been no ease in this whole parenting thing. Nothing has been straightforward. We've spent the whole time going against the grain. Or, more precisely, I have been going against the grain and he has been (supportively) along for the ride. Well, he hasn't just been along for the ride all the time. For some issues, I really had to fight him which I felt badly about but I just couldn't let the issue slide.

When I think about my desire to homeschool, this weighs heavily on me. It is definitely another thing that is solely "my thing" and it is decidedly not the easy road. The hubby would quite happily send the boys off to school because as he put it, he already pays his school taxes. Why spend money twice? And what does that mean about my return to work? He had always hoped that once the kids were all school age, I'd jump right back into the workforce and we'd make a lot more headway financially. The difficult road of being a stay-at-home mom means we give up a lot of luxuries and take a lot longer to do things that could be completed in a jiffy on two incomes.

And then add to that the fact that we don't really get any kind of significant breaks from the children since their grandparents have other priorities and everyone, in general, is quite busy with their own lives. And I really began to understand why he's so tired. And why he's through having children.

And then I began to admit to myself that I'm tired too.

I am eager to get back to the days when I could knit and crochet things, read books, exercise in peace. But I also have to admit that my children do bring me a great deal of joy and in all honesty, they move through these baby days so quickly that one more (only one more) wouldn't be the worst thing in the world.

Oh, I'd love to be one of those folks who romanticize the whole natural mothering thing and glorify it. But it's been a tough road to travel. And though I've never wavered, I definitely wish sometimes that I could be less bull-headed, more middle-of-the road . . . I don't really enjoy carrying poop-soiled diapers back home with me. That's actually not my idea of fun. I don't like feeling all stressed out in the morning trying to squeeze a workout and some chanting in before Z2 starts to demand to nurse. But these are things I really believe in and I really feel are important--important enough for me to go the extra mile.

I'm truly sorry about the way the hubby feels and often wish that the things that are important to me when it comes to child-rearing would also be important to him. But he's his own person and I respect and love that. I know where the hubby is coming from and so as of a few days ago, I've officially dropped the issue. Who knows if it will be picked up again?

What do you wipe with . . .

as a cloth diaperer?

I thought to blog about this because as I was changing Z2 (he is very and I mean very regular today) I noticed that the wipes are getting really thin and worn and I do get asked this question a lot.

It just makes sense that if you're reusing the diapers, you could reuse the wipes. Once you're done cleaning up, you just toss the wipe in the diaper pail along with the diaper and they all get laundered together.

Any place that sells cloth diapers will also sell cloth wipes. My personal favorite place for cloth diapering supplies is Abby's Lane. There, you'll find a large selection of relatively inexpensive wipes. (It's also where I got my diaper sprayer and wet bag.)

But me, being the frugal mama that I am, didn't buy wipes. Nope. I tried a few things. First, I made my own wipe solution. I would fold up Bounty paper towels and then soak them with the wipe solution. But it was really hard to separate the wet paper towels (and I was getting tired of folding all those darn paper towels) so I put the solution in a spray bottle. When it was time for a diaper change, I'd spray the paper towels with the solution. That worked for a few months until I got tired of making the wipe solution. Then I would just wet up a paper towel with plain water under the faucet. That worked for a while until I realized that it was just plain wasteful to be using all those paper towels. But I didn't want to come out of pocket for some cloth wipes. So . . . I went to Costco and bought a heap of plain white washcloths for about $10.00. I kept half the stack for use as actual washcloths. I took what was left, got out a pair of sharp scissors and proceeded to cut each washcloth in half. There was some fraying but after about 2 or 3 washes, it wasn't an issue any more. If I had a serger, I could have eliminated the fraying with just a quick stitch up the side. Also in my collection of wipes are cut-up flannel receiving blankets (which frayed very little) and those baby washcloths that you usually get a whole bunch of at baby showers. So it's a mishmash collection of wipes that I have but they work well--far better than disposable wipes. It generally takes about three or four disposable wipes to do the job of one cloth wipe.

When we're out and about though, I do use disposable wipes. Earlier on, I used cloth wipes and had a peri bottle (which came with my birth kit) with water in it. I'd wet the wipe and get the job done. But it was messy and wet. So now on the go, I use Seventh Generation wipes . I get the refill packaging since that travels a whole lot better and is cheaper. Using disposable wipes only when we're out means that I buy wipes maybe 3 times a year. Since I don't use them much, I keep them in a Ziploc bag to help keep them wet. They're also good for cleaning up sticky messes that children are bound to make (think spitting out half-chewed raisins).

So basically, just like every other aspect of cloth diapering, there are many ways to do it. You could go super cheap and make your own or add a little luxury to the mix. If you cloth diaper, using cloth wipes just seems like the most sensible way to go.

Z2 is almost out of diapers now so I don't think I'll need to invest any more into diapering him--at least I hope not. But if I do, I'll be on the lookout for creative ways to save money while getting the job done.