Very rarely am I a part of the morning rush hour but today was an exception.  I needed to run out and pick up some groceries and I wanted to do it while the hubby was still home.  That meant that I had to leave by 8:00AM and be back by 8:30 the latest.  So off I went into the frigid cold.  I picked up the groceries and on the way home, there was a bit of a traffic jam.  A traffic signal was broken and was staying red indefinitely.  As I sat there, I thought to myself that I kind of miss the morning hustle and bustle.  The morning energy.  Everyone experiencing the freshness and optimism of a new day. You know, the rhythm of it.  The purposefulness of getting up, getting dressed, heading out the house to go do a job that has a broader effect than on just one's family.  Having a job that pays; a job that has a title.  I kind of miss just being me for a portion of the day.  Not Z1 or Z2's mom.  

I don't miss the stress, though.  And it was a lot of stress.  But there's a lot of stress as a stay-at-home mom too.  Minus the social interaction.  Which sometimes makes it difficult for me to decide which stress is less intense.  I think, sometimes, that at least the stress of working yielded a pay check and some recognition from time to time.

I'm not planning to go back to work full-time anytime soon.  Being a stay-at-home/homeschooling mom is important to me and I think it's the best fit for my family.  And it won't last forever because kids do indeed grow up.  But I think how life would be different if I did make a switch.  I'm not always totally sure it wouldn't be good.  

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