Making some changes

Yesterday was a rough day for me emotionally and, thankfully, I was very clear as to why and in line with my new attitude towards things, I'm being solution-oriented.  

I have been sick for the past two weeks with a flu that just laid me out.  I only started to feel about 95% two days ago and today, I finally felt well enough to get moving again and exercise.  But I was really worried that the sickness would be a permanent setback and that I wouldn't be able to get back into exercise for the rest of this pregnancy.  Yesterday, I felt so lethargic and lackluster that I really started to worry. So I am so relieved and happy that I could exercise this morning and, of course, I feel great.  I just determined last night to get to bed before 9 without fail and to get up and do something.  I decided on a DVD with which I am very familiar that has both weight and cardio intervals and I knew I would just do the modifications and take it easy.  It was difficult to get started but once I did, it felt great.  And now, I'm ready to consistently exercise every morning even if it's just a few minutes of stretching or a walk.  The phrase "Just Do It" has some serious merit to it.  

I've also been a bit concerned about not having much help after the baby gets here.  The sickness took me completely out which meant I spent a lot of time sleeping and the boys spent a lot of time watching t.v. and playing on the computer.  I've lamented lack of community and close friends before but being sick like that crystallized how serious a situation this is in my life.  There is no one close enough to me that I could rely on to help me through those difficult days.  I was blessed to see my father step up and help me get the boys to their karate class and get them dinner on some days but otherwise, I was on my own dealing with the boys and the upkeep of the house while battling temperatures of 101 and higher.  Of course, the hubby is a great help but he is at work for the majority of the day.  I couldn't help but start to worry about how I'm going to handle things when the baby arrives and I am getting little to no sleep but still need to get up and do the things I need to do for myself, my family and the household.   I mean, I am still wondering how to fulfill my need for simple company, i.e. another adult who I see and interact with on a consistent basis, much less friends who see that I need help and offer.  I don't have a solution for this one yet but I am working on it.  It may involve hosting a knitting/crochet meet-up at my house.  I think I have been hyper-focused on meeting others who homeschool and that has been very unproductive.  Why not tap into my other interests?

Since January I have been following the specific carbohydrate diet and the results have been lackluster.  I know that I will need to see someone who can correctly diagnose what I've got going on but right now so we can appropriately address it.  I do have a functional nutritionist lined up and I hope to start working with her after the baby is born.  But right now, my options are to continue to tweak my diet and do things to heal my gut. So after about 5 months of SCD, I am going to try something different and that is to avoid FODMAPs foods.  I will try it for 3 weeks at first and see if there is any improvement.

Lastly, I find it so fascinating that following a paleo/primal diet has left me feeling more isolated than being vegan.  It's amazing how the tides have changed over the last few years in favor of vegetarianism.   A few days ago, I posted on a board for more natural-minded mothers that I finally tried liver.  Liver is indeed a superfood especially if it comes from an animal that has been eating its proper diet.  So I have been wanting to give it a shot for some time now but memories of eating it as a child were not pleasant.  Also, I am a picky eater so the odds are I still wouldn't like the taste.  But I tried it.  I added it to some beef stew.  And I ate it.  I was very proud of myself.  Come to find out that grass-fed liver is nothing like the liver of my youth.  And that, although the way I prepared it wasn't the greatest, it wasn't the worst.  Eating liver is definitely not a mainstream thing but what I am learning is that "natural living" or "alternative lifestyle" is now synonymous with being a vegetarian or better yet a vegan and optimally a raw food vegan.  The few comments I got on that board were condescending [let us help you find a plant-based way (i.e. a better way) to get what it is you think you are missing] or downright rude (I find that if meat eaters need to do so much to meat to make it palatable then that should be a sign not to eat meat.)  As if . . . as if, you would go out into your garden, collect kidney beans, throw them into a pot with nothing but water and that would be something palatable and delicious.  I can't be too mad since  I was one of those vegans who would call other human beings "meat eaters" as if what I didn't eat made me superior to them.  I can't be too mad when folks turn around and call me a "meat eater".  I don't have any desire to argue with anyone.  I have no energy to waste engaging in that kind of negativity.  I only want support for my journey to healing which has involved incorporating nutrient-dense animal products into my diet and I don't see myself going back to totally plant-based diet any time soon as it's clear to me that that is what got me here in the first place.  Also, I simply look at my teeth and I notice that I have canines and molars which means I am omnivorous: I am supposed to eat meat and vegetables.  I also notice that I have only 4 canines and many more molars which means far more vegetables/fruits than meat.  I am, after all, not a meat-eater.  I look into my cat's mouth and see only canines.  It only makes sense to have her on a diet that is mainly meat (no grains butsea veggies and other veggies since she is an indoor cat and likes chicken but doesn't seem to like grass-fed beef).  She is a meat-eater.  I'm doing for myself what makes sense to me and is helping me and I am not insisting or arguing that it make sense to anyone else or that anyone else do what I am doing.

I'd be lying if I said that little online interaction didn't force me to remember why I had pretty much stopped interacting online. It generally doesn't make me feel lifted: people who don't know you making judgments about you.  No thanks.  So I'm once again, making some changes.  

I am feeling so much better today physically and emotionally and so much clearer about how to handle things that would have had me down for days.  The decision to be solution-oriented has, dare I say, turned my life around.  Even if the solution isn't clear, it's so much more empowering to be on the lookout for the answer instead of wallowing in the problem.  

Grain-free Pizza Crust

I was so pleased this past weekend to come up with a recipe for a grain-free pizza crust that everyone really liked.  It's still a work in progress so I will be updating with the changes I make.  But here's what I did:

Ingredients
1 cup blanched almond flour
1 tablespoon coconut flour
pinch of salt
1/2 cup coconut milk
2 tablespoons olive oil
1 egg

Method
Whisk wet ingredients together.  Add dry ingredients to wet.  Line a baking sheet with parchment paper.  Pour batter onto lined baking sheet and spread till it is about 1/8" thick. Bake at 450 degrees for 20 minutes.  Remove from oven.  Add toppings (I put on my homemade sauce, a very little bit of cheese made from raw milk from grass fed cows, sauteed mushrooms, onions, and peppers and a couple of slices of Applegate farm chicken & turkey sausage).

I was very pleased with how it turned out.  Other almond flour pizza crust recipes I have tried were just too much.  Just super dense.  Coconut flour pizza crust recipes were just too coconut-y.  This is a nice, mild pizza crust where the toppings really stand out and don't get overwhelmed by the crust.

I would like to get the crust a bit more crispy which means either more oil or another egg. I'll post when I try the modifications next time and hopefully I'll get a picture too.

The Journey to Wellness

So I would say I have been on a journey to wellness for years now.  The reason why I became a strict vegetarian was because I had learned from people like Queen Afua and Dr. Laila O. Afrika, that the root of all my dis-ease was my diet--specifically my diet that included animals and animal products.  I desperately wanted to heal my allergies, heal my excruciating and debilitating menstrual cramps, heal my acne and maybe even heal my eyesight.  Somewhere along the line, my diet became aligned with my religion and started to reflect my spirituality: I didn't want to eat animals because I didn't want to kill them--didn't like the violence.  So I had two very good reasons to be vegetarian and coupled with my tendency to be tenacious and passionate, I remained vegetarian even when the first reason (to be healthy) was proving to be a failure.  I was feeling terrible on the vegetarian diet and getting progressively worse.  I tried adding small amounts of animal products back and still no real improvement.  It came to a head when I just couldn't function and finally went to a doctor and was finally diagnosed with irritable bowel syndrome earlier this year.  IBS is one of those diagnoses where there doctor really has nothing to tell you but take some probiotics and eat more fiber.  Not helpful as I had been doing all those things.  Well, I took matters into my own hands and started removing foods that could be at the root.  Added meat back in, removed beans, and removed gluten.  Started to feel better.  Went paleo and started to feel great.  Added back in starchy tubers to try to put on some weight and started feeling like a train wreck again.

I am really struggling with my diet, how I eat.  This journey has not been easy at all but I am still committed to achieving optimal health.  I have let go of the spiritual hang-ups about eating meat--my body is a temple and I have to do things in a way that honors it.  I need to listen to it--and just give thanks to the animals that die so that I may live and respect the cycle of life.  I'm learning to listen but I still don't have any control of the IBS despite eating about 98% paleo. Maybe once a week, I'll have popcorn. I learned recently from some awesome podcasts that the underlying cause of the IBS is probably SIBO (small intestinal bacterial overgrowth), or some kind of bacterial overgrowth so I significantly cut back on the small amount of carbs I was having (things like sweet potato, yam, and plantain) and now I am trying to follow the GAPS Diet.  I find the GAPS diet difficult for a few reasons: 1) I'm not sure exactly what not to eat--had some tomatoes and that seemed to be just as bad as having a sweet potato 2) I am finding really hard to stay away from starches especially plantain chips and 3) I feel restricted and it doesn't feel good at all--I've never felt that way even on Weight Watchers, or while doing gluten-free or while being paleo.  In any case, I feel like cutting the carbs has helped a lot but I think I just need to get some help with implementing some kind of GAPS type diet. I am tired of the trial and error and tired of feeling awful. 

So since I'm struggling so much to find a way to eat that makes me feel well, I don't know if I'm eating enough or if I'm eating fats, proteins and starches in the right proportion or what I should be eating to support my goal of getting not only well but stronger (which is a big goal of mine fitness-wise). I'm pretty sure I'm not. Add to that the psychological issues of having recently lost weight, wanting to put on a few pounds (and knowing I need to) but being absolutely terrified of landing back where I started two years ago, 45 lbs. heavier. (I started eating more starch tubers in an attempt to put on weight). I'm trying hard to trust that a more primal style of eating would make it so that I would not be likely to put the weight back on but honestly, I just feel so exhausted spending so much time thinking about/obsessing about food and hoping that the next thing I put in my mouth doesn't keep me up all night with cramps and such. (((sigh))) 

Exercise to me is a great way to at least temporarily escape the IBS (can't focus on it as much) and also to have some time during the day where the focus is totally on me.  But with this shoulder injury and modifying the workouts to give my shoulder a rest, I can't help but be hyper-focused on how badly my digestive tract feels. I'm tempted to just jump in and re-start Power Training in earnest next week, shoulder be damned, because I *really* need a distraction.  I know that's not wise and maybe what I really should do is take a complete break from lifting and my regular routine altogether . . . maybe sign up to do Bikram classes or something.  Something totally different.  

So the journey to wellness is far from over and I know that even when I figure things out to heal what I've got going on currently, the most important thing is to learn and be able to listen to my body because things change.  And when they change, I have to change and do things differently, eat differently, be differently.  I would like to learn the tools to do it.  

Photo Credit

Some Simple Cooking, Some Simple Crochet

Turkey meatballs (I don't roll them in the topping), spaghetti squash and steamed kale.

To make spaghetti squash (I only make one half at a time if it's a larger squash)

1. Preheat over to 425 degrees.
2. Cut the squash in half and remove seeds
3. Rub the half all over with olive oil.
4. Sprinkle inside with salt and pepper.  
5. Place face down in a baking pan.
6. Bake for 40-45 minutes or until you can easily stick a fork into it.
7. Let cool.  Scrape out flesh.  

I like it simple like that.  Some recipes add cheese and dress it up in all kinds of ways.  I think it's overkill.  Olive oil, salt, pepper.  Simple and delicious.  

To make the kale, I whip out my trust steamer.  I steam it then toss it in either olive oil (if the hubby's eating too) of butter with some sea salt.  Simple and delicious, again. 

This dinner is the kind of dinner my kids really like.  The flavors are all distinct.  

My first attempt at making jerky.  There were tons of recipes available but true to my mantra of "simple and delicious," I went with this one from paleoblocks.  I added just a touch of maple syrup and liquid smoke seasoning (really, just a touch).  I followed the directions and dehydrated for 8 hours in my food dehydrator (which I got from my wonderful sister-in-law years ago).  They came out very, very well.  I think next time, I won't dehydrate quite as long--they are really tough but it's all good.  Since they are some much work to chew, it keeps you from eating the whole bag.   The process for making the jerky was easy and I got a yield of about 4 or 5, almost $6 bags of organic jerky for Trader Joe's.  The meat cost about that (~$20) and I am able to control what goes in it (namely no soy sauce and not a lot of sugar).  

And here is my latest crochet creation: a simple camera case for our new digital camera, an Olympus X-935 (which I love because of it's simplicity).  

Friday Breakfast

I'm all enthusiastic about posting pictures because we finally got a new camera.  No more taking the memory card out to put it in the card reader to then plug it into the computer.  So since I've got a new camera, I seem to always remember to take pictures of the food! So here's today's breakfast:

This is a tempeh scramble for the hubby.  This is the first time I've actually tried to make a scramble with tempeh. Usually I use tofu but all the bricks of tofu are frozen solid (forgot to take one out to defrost). I also made (steel cut) oatmeal peanut porridge for him with a slice of sprouted raisin bread toast (spread Earth Balance and fruit preserves on the toast).

This is our breakfast (the kids and I):  it's basically fried eggs with lots of veggies.  The kids also got a smoothie made with coconut milk, Greek yogurt, 1/2 a banana, strawberries and pineapple plus a dash of probiotic powder.  I made the smoothie this dense because Z2 isn't a big fan of eggs and probably won't eat much of it.  

Food Battles

Now, I know that I am a pretty picky eater.  I don't really like trying new things and I can pretty much eat the same things over and over ad infinitum.  I thought that I'd be better able to understand and deal with my children.  I know many children are notoriously picky . . . I was prepared to sympathize and work with them.

But let me tell you, it borders on ridiculous sometimes.  When meals are served, my kids will invariably complain that it's "yucky".  It doesn't really matter what it is.  And it's not just because we are transitioning to paleo eating either.  They did the same thing with bean based dishes.  Just tonight, I served chili and Z1 fell out on the floor as if someone had just sentenced him to eating a bowl of fried beetles.  Z2 complained after every bite.  Luckily, they did eat the yam fries without too much of a problem so at least dinner wasn't a complete wash tonight.

They have their favorite foods like pizza (especially), bread and french fries, which I had been very happy to make for them from scratch at home with the best ingredients I could find.  Trying to substitute paleo-friendly options for these favorite foods has been hit-and-miss.  I've tried different kinds of pizza crusts--some with coconut flour, some with almond--and I haven't found one yet that they really enjoy.  I tried the paleo bread from Elana's Pantry and that was wonderful and well-received.  I felt like I hit the lotto when I fried up some yam and it was accepted as french fries.  

But pretty much every meal is met with complaining and tears and a general lack of gratitude.  And I find it very problematic that before they say "Thank You" they will say things like "Not this again--I hate this!"  I understand that making the transition to paleo is hard but really and honestly, it's not the new way of eating that has prompted the complaining.  It's just different foods to complain about.  

I have come upon some sure-fire foods that will be met with smiles all around: meatloaf (I use Sarah's recipe) and millet (non-paleo but it's cool . . . the kids are pretty much 80/20) and Z1 has really taken a liking to roasted butternut squash and cauliflower rice.

I'll admit that it hurts my feelings.  I really feel so under-appreciated because I do spend so much of my time working hard in the kitchen only for folks to spit on the food and act like it's just torture to eat.  I know I need to re-adjust my attitude and not take it so personally but I am trying so hard and they just could not care less.  Never a simple thank you.  I know they are children and they don't really care much about things or people outside of themselves but tonight, I just felt really overwhelmed by it all.  Wishing I could give up and let them eat whatever garbage they want.  After all, we grew up on white rice and chicken and a whole bunch of other non-ideal foods and we turned out fine.  Well, somewhat fine.

I don't know . .. it seems like an issue all mothers really struggle with, i.e. getting children to eat.  I don't know that my mother had all this agitation around mealtimes.  I feel like it was either you eat or you don't.  And that was that.  I guess I could offer them alternatives if they don't want to eat what is served but in reality, any alternative means more work for me because all the simple go to foods that I would usually serve are not paleo.  So I guess I need to figure out a way to make peace with the stage they are in right now.  And really not take it personally.  

Paleo Meals

This was yam fries with sardines.  I sauteed onions, green peppers and tomatoes in coconut oil and added a can of sardines. I think the was lunch on Monday. 

Sorry this picture isn't bigger.  This is the breakfast cookup we have twice a week.  I basically brown two chicken sausage links and then  saute all kinds of veggies in olive oil: onions, green and red peppers, zucchini, celery, tomatoes, spinach or kale.

Sunday Morning Coconut Pancakes . . .

THE BEST PALEO PANCAKE RECIPE

INGREDIENTS

• 6 eggs
• 1 can coconut milk
• 2 Teaspoons vanilla
• 1/2 Tablespoon baking soda
• 1 Tablespoon honey
• 2 Teaspoons cinnamon
• 3/4 Cup coconut flour

PREPARATION

Beat the eggs until they're frothy. Mix the remaining ingredients together. Cook on a griddle (we use an electric griddle because that's all we have right now, but cast iron would be ideal). When you pour the batter, try to keep the cakes small. If they're difficult to flip, cook them a bit longer.

A simple chili I made this morning: browned some ground beef (not the grass fed I usually get from the farm and I can *really* tell the difference), and then added onions, celery, carrots, green peppers, mixed greens, tomatoes, starchy tubers (yam/sweet potato) and some mixed greens.  Seasoned with chili powder, cumin, thyme, garlic.  Added some chicken broth I made a few weeks ago.  It was quick to throw together although far oilier than when I use the grass fed beef.  This was good motivation to remember to get my order in on time.  

I'll try to post some more of the paleo meals I'm preparing. Yes, eating this way means I cook a lot but in all honesty, I would do anything to keep feeling well.  I haven't felt really well in a very long time.  

Paleo Challenge Update

I haven't had much time to write lately which is disappointing because a lot has been going on!

The Paleo Challenge is still in full effect.  Friday, September 28 marked Week 1 of the challenge and so far, it's going great.  I feel really good and this challenge has given me the opportunity to identify those things that make me feel less than optimal.  

A friend of mine sent me this article "Another Reason You Shouldn't Go Nuts on Nuts" by Chris Kresser who, by the way, has an awesomely informative podcast to which I regularly listen.  Later on that day, I went on to eat some walnuts and I noticed immediately after eating them that I began experiencing some serious bloating and gas.  I had been feeling 100% before having eaten the nuts.  I think that day I had some eggs and turkey bacon.  Maybe some salmon for lunch.  And I felt fine.  Once the nuts went down though, all hell broke lose.  I know that nuts should be soaked but I guess out of sheer laziness or maybe not believing that they really need to be prepped, I have not been soaking them--I've just been eating them raw.  Now that I can see a clear connection between digestive issues and raw nuts, I'm motivated to prepare the nuts especially since my children eat them a lot.  For the time being, I'm staying away from nuts but when I reintroduce them into my diet, I will be soaking them properly and I may even take out my food dehydrator to make crispy nuts.  For pancakes, muffins and other baked goods (which we don't have often at all), I'm sticking to recipes that call for coconut flour as I doubt that the almonds to make almond flour have been properly soaked.  As a matter of fact, just last Sunday, I made this recipe for coconut pancakes and they were a hit!

Speaking of podcasts, I found yet another one that is really informative.  It's the Balanced Bites podcast through which I found the Balanced Bites blog.  What a great resource!  Especially for those of us who have emotional issues surrounding food because although there are lots of blogs and podcasts out there that tackle different angles of paleo eating, so few address the other issues that arise when it comes to food.  Like, sure you know you should eat more good fat . . . but what about if you have serious issues around actually eating it?  Anyway, I just really enjoy the style of writing and the no-nonsense, no-coddling approach to paleo eating and lifestyle.  Diane seems to subscribe to one of my life philosophies:  either you do or you don't.  

In keeping with some promises I made with myself when starting the challenge, 

• I am chanting morning and night.  I miss some nights but I have been really making an effort at consistency.  
• As for walks after dinner, the cold weather we've been having lately has been a huge discouragement and I am still vegging out in front of the computer after dinner with a cup of tea (and coconut flakes).  I don't know.  I think after dinner, that's all I really want to do--to kind of be left alone and have some quiet time before bed.  If I really look at it, it's not a bad thing. 
• I cheated and got on the scale this past Sunday only to find out that somehow, I lost 2 more pounds.  Not good.  So I have been adding coconut oil to smoothies and eating more starchy tubers.  This has been an adventure:  some starchy tubers are just awful.  Others, I really like such as yam and white sweet potato.  But I have not tracked points on Weight Watchers (although I may start tracking on something like FitDay just to check out my macronutrients and see how I'm doing in terms of calories)
• No yoga with the kids yet.  I am just so tired at the end of the day, I just want them to go to sleep.  Fast.  But I'm not giving up on this one just yet.  If I can at least commit to shutting down the computer at 8:00PM, we can get it done.  
• I am still meal planning although I haven't posted a plan for this week.  Here's to hoping I can get it up here for next week.  Really quickly though, I roasted a chicken and butternut squash for Saturday, Sunday and Monday.  Today is pizza for the guys (baked fish, yam fries and broccoli for me), chili for Wednesday, Thursday, Friday dinner.  

So all that to say, I'm doing well on the challenge.  I don't know how many folks are actually doing it along with me but I'm so excited about how fabulous I feel and encourage you to at least try it.

Thursday/Saturday Salad

For a while now, I've been making a salad for Thursday and Saturday lunch.  I just fell into the habit because 1) salad is easily transportable and eatable which is great for work on Saturday and 2) it's easy to double the recipe.  My salad is pretty simple with lots of delicious ingredients.  When I first started to make it, I would add whole wheat pasta to it.  When I went gluten-free, I replaced the whole wheat pasta with gluten free pasta.  And now that I'm eating paleo, I just skip the pasta altogether but I've added a couple of things to replace it, most notably, more greens.  I would argue that it's even better without the pasta.  This is a big salad--makes 2 servings--and it's very filling especially if you add 1/2 an avocado to it (but I hate to mix avocado into a salad)

Thursday/Saturday (Paleo) Salad

one bag of organic mixed greens, baby spinach, or arugula (I really love arugula)

one can of wild salmon* or tuna packed in olive oil

3 carrots, finely diced 

3 celery stalks

one cucumber diced

1/2 green pepper

1/2 red pepper

1/4 cup diced onion

2 tbsp. fermented relish

2 tbsp. sunflower seeds

1/4 cup finely diced sun-dried tomatoes

juice of 1/2 a lemon

salt and pepper to taste

*if using salmon, add 2 tbsp. extra virgin olive oil

Toss all these ingredients together (I use my hands) and divide evenly between two bowls.  

The sun-dried tomatoes really add a nice color and a hint of sweetness to the salad.  I think this salad is wonderful and I love to play around with it.  Sometimes I add slivered almonds instead of sunflower seeds.  Sometimes I use basil or garlic-infused olive oil.  Sometimes I use apple cider vinegar instead of lemon juice.  

A salad is one great, quick, portable, no fuss way to get in lots of veggies (including fermented veggies which are great for the probiotics), good fats and protein.

Here's another salad I enjoy too.  

Weekly Meal Planning

I realize that in order to cook paleo for me and my kids, I have to plan a little better than when I was cooking vegan meals for the whole family.  I have to plan so that I can stay within our weekly grocery budget and not be forced to do grains or beans just because I don't have enough vegetables and meat.  So now, at the beginning of the week, I come up with a rough sketch of what I'd like to make for our main meals.  

Here's what this week is looking like:  

Sunday/Monday/Tuesday

spaghetti squash

tomato pasta sauce

turkey meatballs

steamed broccoli

Wednesday/Thursday/Friday

Chicken stew

dirty cauliflower rice

steamed asparagus

Saturday

Pizza (coconut crust for the kids)

salmon and salad for myself

I try to keep it pretty simple since I'm also cooking vegan meals for the hubby and preparing breakfast and lunch (paleo and vegan).  I'm exceedingly grateful for two things: refrigeration and the fact that my family doesn't require a brand new meal everyday.  It seems we all are fine eating the same thing for a couple of days in a row.  Switching it up every week provides enough variety. 

Breakfasts around here are pretty predictable:  

Monday/Wednesday

Chicken sausage stir fry (lots and lots of veggies: kale, eggplant, celery, tomatoes, red and green peppers)

Tuesday/Thursday/Saturday

boiled eggs, turkey bacon, millet (for the kids and sometimes I have some) and almond butter

Friday

Fried eggs (lots of veggies) or egg cupcakes

Sunday

pancakes (whole wheat) and soy sausage (for the hubby)

paleo pancakes (for me)

oatmeal waffles (for the kids)

chicken breakfast sausage (for me and the kids)

Lunches generally consist of salads made with either salmon or tuna, baked fish (usually flounder, cod or salmon) alongside steamed veggies and sometimes sweet potato fries, or turkey deli slices wrapped around avocado and tomato with lots of carrots and other veggies on the side.  

Snacks are pretty easy: nuts, trail mix (I make this by combining coconut flakes, nuts, seeds, and raisins in a bag and shaking), Lara Bars (either homemade or purchased), organic beef jerky, fruit, guacamole and plantain chips (or baby carrots), and yogurt (although I'm trying to phase this out or at least do better and get back to making it at home).  

So I'm going to make an effort, especially during the duration of the 30-Day Challenge, to make a simple post about what my meal (dinner) plans are for the week.  

30 Day Paleo Challenge

For the most part, I have been eating paleo for the past few weeks and I have been feeling wonderful physically.  I notice that after eating grains, I definitely feel more sluggish and drowsy but about 20% of the time, though, I indulge in non-paleo foods such as popcorn (my weakness), sugar (in the form of dark chocolate and sometimes going overboard on fruits), and dairy (a treat for myself has been non-fat plain yogurt with blueberries and a tiny bit of gluten-free granola).  So I really wanted to challenge myself to go whole-hog for a month and see how I feel.  And I'm finally ready to start. 

There's will probably be a challenge thread going on Nappturality so if you're a member there, look for it.  One of my favorite members on Nappturality, swingbolder, suggested that the challenge start on Friday, September 23, 2011.  It's the fall equinox, the first day of autumn so it presents a great way for us to "really get in touch with our paleolithic ancestors  by aligning our actions and intent with the cycles of the sun, just as they did thousands of years ago."  That just made so much sense to me.  

I'm taking this 30 day challenge as an opportunity to make some other changes in my life. I've fallen into the habit of just vegging out in front of the computer after dinner.  The kids watch their show and I watch mine while having a cup of tea, dark chocolate and coconut flakes.  I've been telling myself it's just a way to unwind but really, it's just a way to disconnect which is sometimes all I want to do at the end of a long day with the kids.  My plan for this 30 days is to not use the computer at all after dinner (at least not to watch Netflix or check e-mail or Facebook or do anything internet related).  I want to get back into the habit of chanting or meditating after dinner and then doing something to connect with my children.  A walk around the neighborhood.  Board games.  Reading stories or listening to audiobooks.  Even practicing our French with Byki.  These are things that I've been claiming I don't have time for but really, I do.  All I have to do is choose to do those things and not other things.  

Also, as fate or luck or whatever would have it, I picked up the August issue of Yoga Journal at the library and in it was an article about how to use yoga with one's kids as a nighttime relaxation/de-stressing technique.  I have not found any convenient ways to consistently practice yoga with the kids and have it as a real part of their lives so this article was timely.  Because I'm nixing the television watching, we won't spill over into the 8 o'clock "start getting ready for bed" time trying to finish a show and we should have more time between 8 and 9 to read stories and practice just a bit of yoga.  It's just such a better way to get ready for bed: relaxed and happy not stressed, rushed and upset.

And lastly, for these 30 days, I am committed to not tracking what I eat or what I weigh on Weight Watchers.  As a matter of fact, I'm going to get the kids winter clothes down from the attic (since it's been so cold these past few days) and I am going to take the bathroom scale up there.  I could write a whole post about how tracking has become borderline neurotic for me but I'll spare you the gory details.  I'm going to work hard to eat when I'm hungry, stop when I'm full and take the time to figure out why I want to eat when I'm not even hungry and why the scale means so much to me (control issues).

I am looking forward to this wonderful opportunity to break some really addictive behaviors that have become part and parcel of my life and that really sap my energy and joy.   And I invite you to join me.   

Not sure how to eat paleo?  Over at Mark's Daily Apple, a 30 day challenge started a few days ago.  Mark provided some great guidance.  While I'm doing a paleo challenge (which is just slightly different from primal in that paleo eliminates the sugar and the dairy), it's a great place to get an overview of what to eat and what not to eat during these 30 days.  (I actually think that after the 30 days I will probably re-incorporate dark chocolate but not as an every day thing and I want to eat yogurt again, albeit yogurt that I make at home.)  

What are some changes you'd like to make?  Are you ready to make them?

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Do you know the ice cream scoop trick?

You may or may not have heard but an ice cream scoop is a great way to evenly measure out and dispense batter for cupcakes/muffins into the baking pan.  I whipped out my trusty ice cream scoop this morning to make almond apple muffins (recipe courtesy of Everyday Paleo).  They are very hearty and quite tasty--you definitely don't miss the sugar. The kids can't get enough of them!  :) Oh, I made two modifications: I didn't have apples so I used a pear and I added a 1/2 teaspoon of nutmeg.   I oiled the pan with coconut oil and they still stuck pretty badly so the clean up is going to be a task.  For the future, I think, I'm just going to use cupcake liners--I have to remember to pick some unbleached ones up next time I'm at the grocery store. 

They Just Don't Go

This morning, I made a simple smoothie for the kids:

1 cup coconut milk (which, happily, Trader Joe's now carries)

10 strawberries

1 mango

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I split the smoothie between two cups and reserved about 1/4 cup of it for myself.  Then I thought that I'd like to have a smoothie too.

I went to my Weight Watchers recipe builder and plugged in the recipe.  One serving is 11 points!  I was very discouraged and ended up not making the smoothie for myself.  I gave the portion that I did drink 3 points though.  

I'm tired of tracking with WW but scared to stop for fear of putting weight back on. However, paleo eating and WW just don't go together.  You can't skimp on fat if you're going to do paleo and WW requires that you do just that.  I'm just hoping I'm getting closer to the point of abandoning WW and trying something else wholeheartedly.  

Getting Friendly with Fat

I've deep into learning about the paleo/primal lifestyle and one of the things that's the hardest for me to embrace is eating more fat.  The reasoning behind why we should be eating more healthy fats (such as avocado and coconut oils) makes total sense: eating fat does not translate into one's body making fat (in much the same way eating high cholesterol doesn't mean you'll have high cholesterol).  But after doing Weight Watchers for over a year, it totally makes me nervous.  If I'm building a recipe in the recipe builder and add 2 tablespoons of coconut oil to a recipe, the Points values per serving will indeed go up 3 or even 4 points sometimes.  But one thing I'm realizing is that if I eat more fat at a meal I feel fuller which means I look to eat less, i.e. no real need to snack.  So in that way, it all balances out at the end of the day.  But old habits die hard and psychologically I am still struggling to get friendly with fat.

On another note about paleo living, I have decided to take the transition really slowly.  On my 21st birthday, true to my all-or-nothing personality, I went vegan cold turkey.  I just stopped eating meat, eggs, cheese, milk and milk products--any kind of animal product.  And I think I did myself a huge disservice.  Had the transition been more gradual, I maybe would have noticed how badly I felt after eating particular things.  But I went from a standard American diet to a plant based diet just like that . . .  I didn't give myself a chance to compare the two really and kept feeling that I felt bad because I wasn't doing veganism well enough. It was my ideal and I held on to it for dear life until I just couldn't anymore.  So I kind of realize that paleo is basically the flip side of veganism.  In fact, it's probably the polar opposite.  It could be considered extreme but it really makes sense to me right now.  I guess the difference is that now I have all the wisdom I've gained over these years and a clearer perception.  I'm still on a quest for optimal health.  I haven't given up hope that I can get rid of my allergies.  Maybe improve my vision.  But I realize that there are genetics at play and maybe, even with all the dietary changes I could ever make, I may still struggle with these things.  That's okay.  I am willing to give paleo a good try.  30 day challenge.  Read as much as I can.  Listen to as much as I can (I've been listening to the Everyday Paleo podcast which is amazing--I've learned so much and it's perfect for me since the hosts are all parents . . . they relate everything to children and family which is just what I need).  And abandon ship if I feel worse.  But with just the minor adjustments I have made on the way to eating paleo full-time, I can say that my skin is clearer and I have more energy and alertness.  So I have a feeling that it may be for me (with an occasional cheat for organic popcorn)!

Isn't it interesting how much psychology plays into food, eating, weight loss and health? Especially for women.  

When I moved into my current house (the house my husband grew up in until he was about 5 and then moved back into when he was 21).  I inherited a magnificent Magic Chef oven very similar to this one:

It was manufactured in 1958.  This stove was serious.  It was heavy.  The burners were pure cast iron--heavy.  It wouldn't light without matches (or some other kind of lighter).   It was seriously dusty in some areas like the broiler and the little side storage unit (that still had some of the hubby's grandmother's stuff in there).  The clock on the top didn't work.  The oven door was a trick door and wouldn't close all the way.  But I loved that stove.  A lot.  It was old school.  Strong.  And still working (somewhat) all these years later with minimal upkeep.  

The hubby found a used appliance place a few months ago and the place has economically furnished us with lots of reliable appliances to replace the ones we've had for years that have been partially working.  We got a Hotpoint stove very similar to this one:

It's not new new but it's new to me.  So far I'm pleased with it.  Maybe because after my Magic Chef, I didn't have anywhere to go but up.  I still pull out my lighter every time I want to cook.  And I need to look at the diagrams on the stove to know which burner knob belongs to each burner.  But I'm getting used to it.  

I find it so interesting the differences in how a 1950s stove and 1990s stove were produced.  The burners are so much lighter than my Magic Chef!  Still, I really like this new stove and I can't wait to use the broiler.

My kitchen feels so new.  The hubby replaced the floor tiles (peel and stick tiles have come some far) and a "new" kitchen table courtesy of the thrifts store.  I spend so much time in the kitchen.  It's nice to look around and see some beauty.  

On another note, I have been moving slowly to a paleo diet.  I read Mark's Daily Apple and I have read The Paleo Solution by Robb Wolf and this way of life/eating really seems to work for many and I suspect it will work for me.  Currently, I don't eat any beans, legumes, rice or wheat.  I still eat millet and oats though and every so often I indulge in Trader Joe's Gluten-free Ginger Snaps, Trader Joe's Salsa Chips and I love, love, love popcorn and really enjoy my plain Greek yogurt (with a touch of honey, strawberries, blueberries and a tablespoon of the hubby's Hemp Plus granola).  Still, having eliminated the things I have eliminated, I feel really good--better than I have felt in years.  And it shows with my skin which had turned dull and dry but is not supple and moisturized.  But Z2 has been really suffering with stomach  issues and it's making me think that he needs a change in diet too.  He loves breads and stuff but is not really into beans/legumes anyway.  So I bought the book Everyday Paleo by Sarah Fragoso and I'm really impressed.  I can't wait to try out some of the recipes.  It's going to be difficult doing paleo.  The hubby is a strict vegetarian and Z1 really doesn't like the idea of eating animals.  But if I can get Z2 and I to at least 85% paleo, I will be happy.  I just want to see what difference it can make for us.

It's been a while . . .

I didn't realize I hadn't blogged in a month.  I've been really busy with my boys and life in general.  Also, I've really been suffering with digestive issues. Really suffering.  I cannot place a finger on what it is that makes me feel bad.  I have taken things out and put things back in.  Sometimes I feel better.  Other times I feel worse.

For the past week, I've been feeling much better but I don't want to get too excited.  I am eating a minimal amount of grains: some rye bread here and there (really just to finish the loaf I have at home and then no more of that), a small bowl of millet or oatmeal (once the oatmeal is done, I'm nixing that too).  No beans. (This is a definite:  no matter how the beans are prepared-soaked, fermented, whatever, my body does not know what to do with them.  Two tablespoons of lentil curry the other night had me gripping my stomach in serious distress--heck, even grain fed turkey is a problem for me). Very small amount of nuts and no peanuts (peanuts are legumes also and cause havoc in my system).  I'm keeping up with my probiotics and cod liver oil too with more consistency.  I feel good but I am tentative.  I know that it could slip back into feeling very bad, very soon.  Sadly, I almost expect it.

On Monday, I'm going to another gastroenterologist to see if I can schedule an endoscopy. I have very little faith in the medical establishment, all of who swear that my diet is ideal and "very healthy" even though it has been making me very sick.  But I'm going to do the endoscopy just fulfill all righteousness and say that I've done everything "medically prudent" to get better.  

Currently, I'm looking into the Paleolithic diet.  It's a bit overhwelming because it such a drastic departure from what I'm used to eating. Even more drastic than becoming vegan.  But honestly, I need to do what I need to do to feel consistently good.  I'm tired of feeling tired and sick.  I have no illusion like I did when I started eating a vegan diet:  I don't expect the Paleo diet to magically make my allergies go away, my vision improve, my hair grow in thick, my skin glow and become blemish-free.  But maybe.  Can't hurt to try. I'm moving gradually toward it.  Acquiring some cookbooks.  Reading as much as I can.  Trying to overcome the mental resistance to change.  And trying to be brave enough and generate enough energy to do it by myself (it would be so much easier if the hubby were doing it too--I am literally cooking twice as much these day: one meal for my family and one meal for me).  

Anyway, I just finished reading a very good book called Olive Kitteridge. Looking forward to reviewing it in a later post.