2010!

May 2010 bring you lots of joy, success, fulfilled dreams, profound change, growth, learning and many, many good things.

Photo Credit: "Happy New Year" by Koshyk on Flickr.com

Dark Chocolate Cake with an Unexpected Ingredient

I was really surprised to find a whole cup of sauerkraut as an ingredient in this cake!! It's vegan except for the butter which is easily substituted with Earth Balance or another vegetable-based margarine. The cake is a Weight Watchers recipe and I've never actually tried any from the site. Sauerkraut is a "filling food" which means it's a food that's good for you and keeps you feeling full long so it's pretty nice to find it in a dessert like cake! I was going to try it for Z2's little birthday celebration but since it's a new recipe to me, I think I'll use my tried-and-true recipe and experiment this one out later.

Anyway, here is the Weight Watcher's recipe:
Dark Chocolate Cake

Ingredients
1 spray(s) cooking spray
2 cup(s) all-purpose flour
1 1/3 cup(s) sugar
1 1/2 tsp baking soda
2/3 cup(s) unsweetened cocoa
1/2 cup(s) butter, melted
1 1/2 cup(s) hot water
1 tsp vanilla extract
1 cup(s) sauerkraut, pureed until smooth
1 tsp unsweetened cocoa

Instructions
Preheat oven to 350°F. Coat a Bundt pan with cooking spray. 
In a large mixing bowl or in the bowl of an electric mixer, combine flour, sugar, baking soda and 2/3 cup of cocoa. Add melted butter, hot water and vanilla extract; mix well. Add sauerkraut and blend thoroughly. Pour batter into prepared pan; bake in center of oven until a tester inserted in center of cake comes out clean, about 55 to 60 minutes. Cool cake in pan for about 20 minutes and then turn out onto a baking rack to cool completely. Sprinkle with 1 teaspoon of cocoa powder before slicing into 14 pieces. Yields 1 slice per serving.

Notes: You can easily change the flavor of this cake by adding strong coffee instead of the hot water or adding cayenne pepper and cinnamon with the vanilla.

POINTS® Value: 4
Servings: 14
Preparation Time: 8 min
Cooking Time: 60 min
Level of Difficulty: Easy

If you try it before me, let me know how it goes!

On another note . . . it's snowing where we are. Again. I've lived here all my life and I still hate the snow. (((sigh)))

Coats and Car Seats

I'm admittedly anal very strict when it comes to my kids' car seats. No, I haven't had them inspected by a professional although I keep saying I will. But I'm 99% sure they are installed correctly and they don't ride in cars without a car seat. (There was that one time in the middle of winter when I was 38 weeks pregnant with Z2 and decided me and Z1 could walk to the avenue--him in his snowsuit. He got so tired and absolutely refused to walk anymore. I tried carrying him but that couldn't work for too long with my huge belly so I sucked it up and took a cab home--with no car seat!) Z2 is also still rear-facing and will be until he reaches the 30 pound limit for rear-facing on his car seat. Z1 is in a seat that harnesses up to 65 pounds. Car seats laws are hardly enforced and most folks I know with kids had their infants forward facing when they turned one and used belt positioning boosters with their older kids (and sometimes even backless ones if one at all). So I know that I'm more concerned about car seats than most folks are (in real life, at least). Heck, I'm more concerned than the hubby who really just does not see the point and lets me alone worry about the car seats.

A few years ago, I first heard the warning that bulky winter coats interfere with the ability of car seats to keep children safe in the event of an accident. The idea is that in the event of an accident, the coat would compress and the child could get tossed out of the car seat.

I really want to keep the kids safe in the car and I'd feel horrible if anything happened that I could have potentially prevented. But we only have street parking and I really can't swing the $199 to get a remote start installed. I had been trying to run out there and start the car but I can't lock the doors with the engine running and no one in the driver's seat. I devised a plan to use the spare key to lock the doors manually. That was working but I have to say, it's really cold and another added step to the numerous steps it already takes to get out the house is just . . . exhausting.

So what I've been doing is just getting to the car, hurriedly turning it on, while we just sit in our coats. Then after I get the engine warmed a little, I turn on the heat full blast, take the kids' coats off and proceed to strap the kids in sans the bulk. They usually have a fleece jacket on underneath their bulky coats and I have fleece blankets to cover them up with.

But let me tell you, yesterday it was bitterly cold. The wind was whipping around. I did not want to be fussing with taking coats on and off (although I did) and so I've just been thinking about a better way to go about this while keeping the kids the safest.

I did a google search and (surprisingly) didn't find many "official" sources on the dangers of bulky coats in car seats. Nonetheless, it makes sense to me that the coat would compress in an accident and I'm always surprised to see how much space there is in the harnesses if one of the kids was wearing something bulky the day before and is wearing something thin the day of.

In doing my google search, I found this:

And here's another good link with pictures how safely wearing a winter coat in the car seat should look.

I think it's a good compromise. All you have to do is make sure the harnesses are as tight with the coat on as they are with the coat off. So I think I'll try this safer way to wear jackets in the car seats.

Not today . . .

Well, I went to sleep last night determined to wake up this morning and do a strong workout of yoga and high-impact aerobics to make up for yesterday's completely inadequate workout. Thing is, I went to sleep late last night (at 11:00PM) trying to squeeze in some alone time (aka time without the kids) with the hubby. But this morning, I woke up with a massive headache. I tried to get moving even with the headache but any movement (especially downward dog) only intensifies the pain. I can't even think about doing any plyometrics today. I've tried to drink water and just sit for a while but all indications say I should have just stayed in bed on this cold, cold, cold morning. (((Sigh))) It seems I really do need nine full hours of sleep at night to be okay in the morning. And napping during the day doesn't help at all.

When will I get it? Wednesday morning workouts have to be short and sweet because Tuesday, usually the hubby's day off, is a late night. (((Sigh))) I wish I could go back to bed but the kids will be up in just a few minutes. (((Another huge sigh)))) These are the times when going somewhere to work out is a better situation than staying at home. I probably would have just laid out on the couch and slept another hour or so then gotten up and gone to the gym before the kids woke up. (((Yet another huge sigh)))

I'll get back on track tomorrow, hopefully.

Happy 2nd Earthlight!

Today is Z2's second birthday and I can hardly believe how the time has blown by. Z2 is still nursing but only to sleep and when he wakes in the morning. I had to reduce the frequency of nursing sessions because it was starting to annoy me. So here he is, this big boy, who still enjoys to nurse. He is such an amusing nurser, humming songs, "snapping" his fingers, taking breaks to dance a little jig. It's amazing how much he loves music!

Z2 has been acting like a two year old for some months now telling me "NO!" and demanding that things are his by screeching "MINE". I love his little 2 year old vocabulary. I love how he is such a huge mimic of his brother. I mean everything Z1 does, Z2 is going to try to do to. It's so cute watching him do it too. Well, cute and treacherous because as you can imagine, Z1 is much more steady on his feet so Z2 trying to do the exact same things sometimes is . . . dangerous. But Z2 doesn't care and I am tickled (and frightened) by his daring adventures.

So Happy Happy Birthday Z2! And many, many more!!

Today's Workout was a Fail!

All right . . . this morning's workout was really a lackluster disappointment. It was just fail-tastic!

But it's my fault. I forgot the hubby was going to be off to work early and had planned to do The Firm Classic 2. I had wanted something low-impact but if I'm going to do low impact aerobics, I need to devote 1 hour or more to really burn the calories. I didn't have that much time to today so I was trying to think fast about what else I could do. I decided to to do Self: Bikini Ready Fast!--low impact with lots of weight. I've done it before but I guess I forgot: I could have gotten more of a workout folding laundry and mopping the floors! I thought about stopping in the middle and doing something else but time just wouldn't allow. Plus I knew nothing would be really effective in 20 minutes unless it was high-impact and I just wasn't in that kind of mood today. So, working out was huge truck of fail today.

I'm going to make up for it tomorrow though. Tomorrow I'm supposed to practice yoga and I will but I'll do a short 20-minute routine and then do my Women's Health Train for Your Body Type DVD. I'm planning to do step aerobics on Thursday and Jillian Michael's Banish Fat, Boost Metabolism which I did for the first time last week and which was frickin' awesome (especially considering that I just can't stand 30-Day Shred). I'll be back to yoga on Saturday (Yoga Zone: Power Yoga for Strength and Endurance).

As you can see, I've got lots of variety going on which is definitely keeping me from getting bored and keeps me looking forward to working out in the mornings. Z2 is sleeping straight through to 7 o'clock consistently and I'm feeling really positive about my exercising and weight loss. I hope to have my 2010 goals listed on the sidebar soon.

Authentic Traditions

So whether you know it or not, today is the second day of Kwanzaa. I blogged about it last year and expressed how it feels a bit contrived/made up yet I still see a lot of value in the Kwanzaa principles (Nguzo Saba).

Well, this year, I took a book out of the library on Kwanzaa and even though we don't have a Kinara set up or anything, we're going through each day of Kwanzaa. Today's principle is kujichagulia or self-determination. Or course, if you know me, you know this is one of the biggest principles I'm trying to engender in my own life, i.e. living my life on my own terms and it would be a tremendous blessing if I could pass this principle on to my children.

Anyway, as I share these principles with my children, I still can't shake the feeling that Kwanzaa doesn't feel true to me. I am not African-American. My parents are relatively recent and voluntary immigrants to the United States. I know the geographic location where my family hails from. And I ache for authentic traditions.

My parents, being the staunch Christians that they are, made it a point to avoid all traditional celebrations and holidays. In fact, there are no pictures of my parents' traditional wedding (I don't think they had one) and I'm pretty sure my mother was not pleased that my cousin had her traditional wedding with "all that unnecessariness". I can't say that had we been exposed to our ancient traditions, I would still embrace them today but I feel like a part of who I am is missing.

This is complicated by the fact that although I understand my mother tongue of Igbo, I cannot speak it with any fluency. It makes communicating with my grandmother, who only speaks Igbo, a serious challenge. I feel like she is a treasure trove of information, history and wisdom and I am cut off. I've googled to find an organization of my dad's village people have here in the States. I know that folks are celebrating our traditions but I feel awkward. I don't really know anyone having lived in the States all my life, I don't speak the language and since I'm married, I technically am not from the village my father is from anymore but from the village my husband is from. Since my husband is American, technically/traditionally speaking, I'm from whatever "village" in America he comes from. In fact, because of this I could really only be an honorary member of that organization to which I linked above.

It's kind of frustrating that I should have a direct connection to my history and culture along with the traditions and celebrations but I don't. Do I try to forge one with my strangers from the village my dad comes from? Or do I just suck it up and embrace Kwanzaa as my own? After all, every tradition was made up/started sometime. If we really get into it now and take it seriously, it will be a real tradition for our great-great grandchildren.

Making the more difficult choice

Can change the world.

Let Peace Reign!

One Doesn't Always Equal One

I was at the gas station yesterday putting gas in my car. This particular gas station is self-serve so I had to get out and pay for the gas. Well, inside they have a whole bunch of stuff--you know the regular coffee, tea and . . . candy. I got a Tootsie Roll pop figuring I'd work the Weight Watcher's points at home.

That sucker was 1 point. Know what else is one point? A cup of grapes which certainly would have been more satisfying and healthier. Now, I know that sometimes I'd just prefer to have the Tootsie Roll pop and I can give myself that but it's interesting to go through the list of one point foods and think about just how many other things are also one point but that pack a lot of bang for that buck.

I just took note of that for future reference: one doesn't always equal one. And I'm really liking the program so far.

Photo Credits: "Tootsie Roll Pop" by william couch on Flickr.com and "Grapes" by joyrex on Flickr.com

What's Really Real.

I've been in a reflective mood of late. It most likely has something to do with me marking my 28th year on this good Earth and also me starting a new moon cycle.

I think about how sometimes I get into the craziest funks because I didn't do "all the things" young people are supposed to do like party and travel. I didn't even live on my own because when I got married, I was still living in my parents' house. I start to feel like somehow I missed out and will never be able to get my youth back. But then I look around me and hear so many Black women worried and/or complaining about how difficult it is to get (and keep) what I have and I feel so grateful. I may not be doing what most other 28 year old folks are doing but I'm doing what I want to do, what it's my joy to do, what I'm supposed to be doing and I'm doing it now when I'm young. By the time my children are grown, I'll still have the get-up-and go to still do those things I "missed out on" (albeit with a different set of folks and a whole different mindset). I won't begrudge or be jealous about the road someone else chose to take. I won't covet the perceived success of my peers. Instead I'll focus that energy on doing my best where I am and on santosha.

You see, my road has not been the straightest road or the easiest and definitely not the most popular but I've come to see that some of my actions were actually reactions--responses to the actions of someone else. In that realization, I'm empowered to make my future actions authentically my own.

I think about all my past relationships and I can give heartfelt thanks for the good ones and the bad ones. I give thanks for the good ones because it felt good to be wanted, accepted and loved. In these good relationships, I learned things that will carry me through life. One old boyfriend in particular stands out as the person who helped me shed my prudish upbringing (where everything about one's body was a sin) and to learn to appreciate my body. It was liberating and pleasurable. Other particularly terrible relationships helped me to really understand how damaged my self-esteem was. I watched myself do things that I knew were not healthy but I felt powerless to stop. Even in those relationships, I learned a lot. One boyfriend helped me let go of the idea that the Bible was the end-all-be-all when it comes to The Truth. He introduced me to Fela and some of the best vegetarian restaurants in the city. This boyfriend also brought me unspeakable pain. I think about the man who I was so passionately attracted to in such an inexplicable way who played with me like a toy and never even acknowledged how he hur t me. Somehow after all this time, though, I'm able to embrace all the things and people that are a part of the tapestry of my life. It's all that stuff that makes me who I am today.

And I'm happy to say that I am loving who I am more and more each day as I become more adept at sorting out the bullshit from what's really real.

Photo Credit: "Tapestry Box Project 26" by slowlysheturned on Flickr.com

. . . and all the shiny accessories

It's winter time and I drink much less water than I do in the summer time especially while I'm out and about. The other day I was on my way to work packing my lunch. I was getting ready to put my 40-ounce stainless steel water bottle into my bag and realized that it just took up way too much space in light of the fact that I didn't actually need forty ounces of water that day. I thought about what to do. I went to my cupboards and got out a 20-ounce plastic Rubbermaid bottle but I felt . . . funny. I remember feeling a similar way when I forgot my reusable bags for my groceries at Trader Joe's. I remember feeling a similar way hoisting out my mismatched hodgepodge of re-useable bags at the "upscale" Whole Foods.

"What's this?" I asked myself.

My mind flashed back to this article and I had myself a good chuckle. See, far too often, it's the shiny accessories that announce that one is living a green lifestyle that become most important. It's the highly visual evidence that one is not a mindless consumer but rather a consumer that puts careful thought into each of his/her purchases. It's the symbol that says, "I care about the Earth" and "I am doing something". Or so the merchandise would suggest.

I thought about buying a smaller stainless steel water bottle for myself. Maybe borrowing Z1's (after a good scrub down, of course). But I decided to take my little plastic Rubbermaid bottle. I was only putting plain water in it anyway and certainly not in the mood to spend any extra money. I already had something to carry my water in.

I'm not interested in the look of being green. And I'm especially not in it for all the shiny accessories.

Notes on a Scandal . . .

The title is so scintillating as to be a complete let down but I was pleasantly surprised by this very interesting novel. What was She Thinking?:Notes on a Scandal is Zoe Heller's second novel and while I'm not running off to read her first, I do have to say that I enjoyed this book tremendously. How it's described:

Barbara Covett, a sixtyish history teacher, is the kind of unmarried-woman-with-cat whose female friends sooner or later decide she is "too intense." Thus when a beautiful new pottery teacher, Sheba Hart—a "wispy novice with a tinkly accent and see-through skirts"—chooses Barbara as a confidante, she is deeply, even rather sinisterly, gratified. Sheba's secret is explosive: married with two kids, she is having an affair with a fifteen-year-old student. The novel, Heller's second, is Barbara's supposedly objective "history" of the affair and its eventual discovery, written furtively while she and her friend are holed up in a borrowed house, waiting for Sheba's court date. Barbara has appointed herself Sheba's "unofficial guardian," protecting her from the salivating tabloids. Equally adroit at satire and at psychological suspense, Heller charts the course of a predatory friendship and demonstrates the lengths to which some people go for human company.

Copyright © 2005 The New Yorker --This text refers to an out of print or unavailable edition of this title.

I think the book was masterfully done and the way that Heller reveals the nature of each character is what held my interest so much. When I finished it, I was convinced that Barbara was really out of her mind and it's so ironic that at the end of the novel, she's the only one Sheba had left--and that's just fine by Barbara who can't imagine going back to her previous existence--one of abject loneliness. I don't want to give away the story but I can say that this read was fun. It wasn't terribly heavy and it was humorous but not in an outright kind of way. You definitely get a feel for the British sensibilities and I always get a kick out of reading things that refer to a flashlight as a "torch"--like my parents do. Tee-hee.

It's funny how I ended up reading this book. I had wanted to watch the movie after hearing Oprah talk about it some years ago. I couldn't remember for the life of me the name of the movie but I knew that it had won an Oscar. So I searched for all the Oscar winners for the last ten years until I finally found it. I went to put it on hold at the library and mistakenly put the book on hold. By the time I realized my mistake, the book had already come in so I couldn't cancel it. I put the movie on hold and I picked up the book at the library but since I was still reading The Color Purple, I didn't get into right away. A couple of days later, the movie actually came in (shockingly fast) and I went to pick that up. Since I intended to read the book and I absolutely hate seeing movies before the book, I powered my way through What was She Thinking? Now, I'm looking forward to seeing the movie.

No-Knead Bread??

So by now you must have heard somewhere about no-knead bread.  Unlike traditional bread, in stead of kneading it, you just let time do the work.  It's a great concept and I keep wanting to give it a try but something keeps stopping me.  And now I realize what it is: TIME!! It takes too much time! I also don't have instant yeast but I have a whole truckload of regular yeast--I don't want to buy yeast just to make this bread and I don't have the time to figure out how to substitute regular active dry yeast. Furthermore, I don't actually knead my bread.  My Kitchenaid stand mixer does!  Eight minutes in there on the lowest setting and voila! Perfectly kneaded bread that passes the windowpane test.  But the no-knead method is a great method to master especially in the event that we no longer have consistent electricity.  I am determined to try the no-knead recipe one day but today is not that day.  I'm so comfortable making bread the old way that I just can't seem to bring myself to try it.  Not to mention that the effort it takes to make bread keeps from eating it all willy-nilly. 

My current batch of bread is in the oven rising right now. I'm a little worried about the activity of my yeast as my bread seems to be rising a bit more slowly than usual. Well, it could be the yeast or the fact that it's colder. Anyway, here's my recipe for simple, filling, whole grain bread again:

Tall Sandwich Bread
1 1/4 c warm water (105 to 115 degrees Fahrenheit)
1 T oil
3T sweetener of your choice (I use sorghum)
1 t salt
1 c white flour (I use King Arthur unbleached all-purpose)
1 1/2 c whole wheat flour (I use King Arthur Whole Wheat Flour)
1/2 c gluten
1 1/2 t dry active yeast
To this I add: 2-4 T ground flax seed

Mix with a bread hook in the Kitchenaid on Speed 1 for 8 minutes or until gluten is well developed. Transfer dough to a lightly oiled bowl. Turn dough to coat with oil. Let rise till doubled (about 1 hour) in a warm. draft-less place (I place a bowl of hot water in my oven and cover with a damp towel). Punch the dough down, transfer to a lightly floured surface and roll into a rectangle about 1/2" thick. Tightly roll the dough as if making cinnamon rolls, tuck the end under and pinch closed. Transfer to lightly oiled bread pan. Let rise again. Bake for 40 min at 350 F. Transfer freshly baked bread to cooling rack (remove from pan).  

I usually double this recipe so I get two loaves:  one to freeze and one to refrigerate.  Here's the recipe for the original no-knead bread.  Anyone have any tips for this type of bread?  Please share!

Edited 12/21/09

1. It's not my yeast that's the problem.  The oven is 68 degrees according to my thermometer which means it's too cold in there for the bread to rise properly.  I sat my dough covered with a damp cloth on the heater and in about 45 minutes, it was totally risen and ready to be baked.
2. One slice of this bread is 3 Weight Watcher's points--a lot in a way but it's a very wholesome and filling bread
3. I figured out that my issues with pictures and things in Blogger had very nothing to do with my Mac bu rather with Safari, which is the browser I was using.  I downloaded Mozilla Firefox and it works perfectly. 
   

Photo Credit:  "No Knead Bread" by Cbruno on Flickr.com

I started Weight Watchers!

I signed up yesterday but today I've really been trying to figure things out.  Initially, I thought I'd go for the online only program but I think I will also go to meetings at least for the first few months.  So many folks have had positive things to say about the program and since I'm very ready to drop the weight, I'm excited to really get into it.

Today, I had 28 points to use.  I entered all the food I ate (and will eat today) and ended up with 32.5 points which means I went over.  I entered all the food I will eat tomorrow and have 2.5 points left over if I stick to it.  I think it's really helpful for me to think about everything I put in my mouth.  Today, I was about to polish off the last of the kids' lunch and I immediately thought, "How many points would this be?" and since I a) didn't want to be bothered looking up the points and b) knew I was over already, I passed.  Accountability, for me, is good.

I will say though, that it feels a little limiting but apparently, thats what I need.  I am really surprised at how much extra stuff I put in my mouth that's not a meal but since it's there, I put it in my mouth.  I'm looking forward to when I would have totally changed how I eat.

My current weight is 158 pounds.  My ultimate goal is to reach and maintain 130 pounds.  Right now, that's kind of lofty so my first goal is to go down to 150.1 pounds.

Luckily, my tea is only 1 point.  Since it's so cold, I've been having 2 to 3 cups a day.  That my be where tomorrow's leftover points go.

So I've started to work on one of 2010 goals already.  I think that's a good sign.

Voluntary Frugality vs. Necessary Frugality

This season is one in which everyone thinks a lot about money.  I think even more so this year when the country is in the midst of a terrible recession (or depression by some accounts).  You hear the word "frugal" tossed around a lot too.  "This will be a frugal Christmas" and it sort of implies that this will be a Christmas where everyone will have to deal with having less because the money simply isn't there.  It's a total misunderstanding of what frugal means.

Frugality simply means doing more with less.  It doesn't necessarily mean doing more with less because you have less.  In fact, you could be a billionaire and still embrace the ideal of frugality.  It doesn't mean being cheap either.  A frugal person would rather buy good quality merchandise, would rather put out the money than spend (or rather waste) money on something that is subpar.  Frugal people generally learn that you can find good quality merchandise second hand often for the same price as brand new, lesser quality stuff especially if you know where and when to look.

I think the confusion comes in when we start to look at voluntary versus necessary frugality.  Is "necessary frugality" an oxymoron of sorts?   If you need to be frugal, can it really be called frugal at all?   I think so but it brings up some interesting issues.

I am frugal by nature.  I don't like spending money when I don't have to.  I like to save up my money so that when I need it, it's there for me.  I like to save up my money so that I can buy good stuff because I don't really enjoy shopping.  But since the hubby is the sole breadwinner, being frugal, even though it's natural to me and I enjoy it generally, it's also a necessity.   We just couldn't swing this lifestyle if we spent money all willy-nilly.

What happens when frugality is a necessity though, is that sometimes it feels like a burden--no matter how innately you like to be diligent with your money.  You're holding on to your dollars and cents trying to make the wisest decision with your money.  You sometimes agonize over the best ways to make the money go farthest and you ruthlessly sort out your needs and your wants.  But then sometimes the line between needs and wants starts to get a little blurry.  This is when it gets difficult.  This is when it starts to feel like a burden, an annoyance and not a tried-and-true means to an end.  Of course, your financial goals are paramount in your mind but the goal is lofty and what you're wanting/needing now is so small (or not) in comparison.  You want to maybe throw caution to the wind (for a minute) and just get it already or do it already and have that satisfaction.  After all, there's only one life to live right?  Right.

Frugality, in general, is not about denying yourself simple pleasures in life.  But when frugality is driven by necessity, there's a lot less leeway in how much or which of these simple pleasures you can allow yourself because there's a lot more to lose.  And no matter how you look at it, sometimes you feel a little . . . annoyed?  Frustrated?  Exasperated?

Frugality, to me, is a discipline.  I know not everyone finds discipline enjoyable but I really do.  Sometimes people say I'm rigid and I know I can be but there's something comforting to me about being in control and not letting something else control me.  That's what being frugal means to me.  It means controlling my money so that my money doesn't control me.  Somedays, despite the frugality or maybe because of it, I will admit, it feels like money is running the show.  It dictates what I can and cannot do.

Still,  I kind of compare it to how a marathon runner approaches her race.  She knows that she has to eat and train a certain way to achieve the goal.  Now, that sweet potato pie at Thanksgiving may be really tempting but discipline dictates that she stay away.  But if that pie would give her great joy and pleasure, I don't think it a sin if she has a small slice.  Discipline says she stops there, though.  I may be way off with my comparison (marathon runners, feel free to chime in) but what I'm learning with frugality is that I  have to have some built in wiggle-room to my discipline so that I don't feel imprisoned or trapped by it.  So that I'm not rigid.

When I start to feel that way confined, I give myself one of those small things I've been wanting, realizing that it won't derail the whole frugality train.  One small thing crossed off a long list of needs and wants goes a long way to helping me re-focus on my financial goals while bolstering my spirits.