A Good Shoe

Shoes, shoes, shoes . . . 

For most of my life, if I had to stand or walk for extended amounts of time (like an hour or more), I would have some seriously debilitating ankle pain.  I always thought I had weak ankles and that it was something I really didn't have any control over.  

I sustained an injury to my left foot while working out a few months ago.  It was painful for a while and the pain was accompanied by edema.  I went to see the podiatrist when it was painful and while he couldn't do anything for the pain and swelling, I learned that I have flat feet.  Eventually the pain subsided (but I still have edema in that foot that gets worse when it's hot which was kind of a wake up call for me). 

I always thought my feet were normal and it came as quite a surprise that they were not.  All those  years of pain, I realized, were due to my flat feet and not wearing the proper shoes.  While I didn't know that I had flat feet, I did know that shoes like Birkenstocks (with lots of arch support) were even more comfortable than sneakers for me.  In Birkesnstocks, I could walk all day--literally--and my ankles wouldn't hurt at all.  Learning that I had flat feet helped me understand why.   

The podiatrist fitted me for orthotics--basically an insole that would go into all my shoes.  The only issue was that in order to wear the insole, the shoe had to be big enough and/or the right shape to accommodate the insole.  I  hemmed and hawed about it because I didn't want to get rid of some of my shoes but at that point, I'd had enough with the pain.  So I got rid of a lot of shoes that can't accomodate the insoles.  I also discovered clog style shoes like Dansko and Sanita brand.  I find these shoes to be extremely comfortable even without the insole.  They are (usually) pricey though so my shoe rotation is through four shoes this summer: 

• Birkenstock in Golden Brown
• Dansko Professional in Cordovan Cabrio
• Sanita Clog in patent leather black (I never thought hard soled shoes like these would be comfortable and I love Clog Outlet.com)
• Sanita Mona Sandal

In June, I was on a quest to find very warm, comfortable winter boots.  I did very well, by the way, at the Onlineshoes.com outlet.  I got these and those.  I made sure to get them large enough to accommodate my insoles.  My short Timberland boots that I've had for about 2 years now, are really roomy and with the insole, they are like a dream for going on hikes and other outdoorsy type activities.   

My athletic shoe situation is still hit and miss.  I have learned never to buy sneakers online.  When I get through with these sneakers that I have now, I will definitely hit a running specialty store to figure out the right shoe for my foot.  Currently, I'm managing by working out with my insoles in my sneaker.  But it is so hot these days  . . . putting that insole in triples the amount my feet sweat and how hot my feet feel.  It's annoying but it is far better than ankle pain.  Far better. 

I mean, it's been a lot of dealing with shoes lately and I'm kind of getting tired of it but it feels so wonderful to not have to deal with ankle and foot pain.  I need one more shoe:  something to wear around the house that's comfortable since I am standing most of the time.  I've never had a real pair of Crocs (only knock-offs) but I think they could work.  Earlier I Googled flip-flops with arch support and found a few hits.  But I think like my sneakers, I'm going to have to go try them on to be sure they are what I need.  Because I have the insole that was specifically molded to my foot, I know exactly what I'm looking for. 

I've had to give up my vanity a little bit.  I don't go and get $10 flip-flops or other cutesy shoes.  Just looking at them causes me pain, now that I know what causes me pain (i.e. a low arch as opposed to weak ankles).  And I can't say the shoes I'm wearing now are the most fashionable around.  I can hardly believe that I am choosing comfort as my priority.  Comfort over cuteness.  But these days, the only thing cute to me is comfort. 

I'm also amazed by how the foot works and that a low arch would translate into such intense ankle pain.  I'm wondering why I have flat feet in the first place and hope that since I keep my kids barefoot or in soft-soled shoes whenever possible, they will have normal feet.   

One upside to all this is that now I really have a limited number of shoes to pick from which means that it drastically reduces clutter.  There are still some (essentially useless and pain-inducing) shoes that I can't let go of.  But as they sit there, neglected, I'm sure their uselessness will become more and more pronounced which will motivate me to chuck them.

I will never again underestimate the importance of A Good Shoe.

Photo Credit

Mock Tuna Salad--a Quick, Easy and Filling Lunch

I think most vegetarians at some point get around to making a mock tuna salad.  There are lots of recipes floating around on the web.  I'm not really a fan of eating chickpeas whole (unless they've are part of a very flavorful stew and have taken on some of the spices) so I avoid recipes where the chickpeas are not pureed. My favorite recipe by far is this one.    I add one extra tablespoon of relish, a rounded teaspoon each of black pepper and sea salt to the basic recipe.  Each serving is 6 Weight Watchers points but it wasn't keeping me full until the next meal.  By the time it was time for dinner, I was really, really hungry.  So to try to combat this I started to add 

• half a large red pepper, chopped
• half a large green pepper, chopped
• two stalks of celery, diced
• 1/4 cup of chopped onions
• two small carrots, chopped

Paired with a whole wheat mini-pita, this recipe is quite filling and feels like I am eating a real meal instead of a snack.   As an added bonus, this recipe is very quick to make in the food processor (aside from chopping the vegetables).  I used to make my own vegan mayonnaise but . . . I just need a little bit of a shortcut these days. 

Personal Milestones in Yoga

When I was brand new to yoga, I was surprised that there were  more advanced poses that I could easily get into like half lotus pose (as opposed to simple cross-legged pose or sukhasana) or upward plank pose. I realized that people come to yoga at a wide array of starting points.  Me personally, I couldn't touch my toes in standing forward bend.  I couldn't touch my head to the floor in child's pose.  Certain poses like crane pose, chaturanga dandasana, and side plank pose were like a big joke . . . I couldn't even begin to get into those poses. 

While I still find these last three challenging, now that I've been practicing over a year, I am so pleased that I can get into the poses and stay there long enough to explore my breath and explore what's going on in my body.  I can stay there long enough to make adjustments and experience the benefits of these poses.  

But what has me straight tickled pink these days is that finally, I can get into upward wheel pose.  It seems like up until a month ago, I absolutely had to modify this pose.  I simply did not have the strength to get into the position and if I did get into it with help, I couldn't stay there for very long at all.  I had been modifying with bridge pose which is still a very lovely pose that my body likes and which I will still keep on doing depending on what my body says.

It's nice to mark the milestones in yoga.  Even nicer to note how many more there will be. 

Photo Credit

Book Review: Traveling Mercies by Anne Lamott

I'm really into books like these at the moment: memoirs and autobiographies.   I'm drawn to stories that tell of peoples' very individual journeys and the lessons learned and the understandings gained.  Funnily enough, I felt "Traveling Mercies" was an apt title:  it's something my parents would often say when someone was headed off on a long journey. On the recommendation of a good friend, I picked up Traveling Mercies: Some Thoughts on Faith by Anne Lamott.  This is the second book that I have read by this author--the first was Operating Instructions: a Journal of My Son's First Year of Life, which, as a brand new mother myself, I really appreciated.   

Traveling Mercies was a good read.  It was not full or intrigue or any eye-opening insights but it was what it said it was:  some of Ms. Lamott's thoughts on faith, take it or leave it.  Funny that I should pick up and enjoy the book since Lamott's faith is so totally different than mine but I think that's what  I liked about: it.  She tells of how she figured out her faith, came to terms with things that didn't always makes sense, and grew to come to a place of peace.  The end of the book was kind of anti-climactic and I would say that it took me a long time to read the book because it really was a series of thoughts strung together from different moments and events in Ms. Lamott's life--kind of like a blog in book form.  There wasn't necessarily a good flow . . . but that's how thoughts (and blogs) work sometimes. 

Now I'm reading The Color of Water by James McBride, another memoir/biography, which I bought at a thrift store for a couple of cents years ago but never got around to reading and I am really enjoying it.  It's so engaging and I'm moving quickly through it. 

My First Attempt at Basic Artisan Bread

It didn't quite rise the way it was supposed to.  This is kind of the same issue I had with the no-knead bread.  Anyway, it's super tasty but far too dense--an artisan bread is supposed to be light with lots of air holes.  The recipe I used is found in the booklet that came with my Cuisinart food processer.  It is adapted from The Best Bread Ever: Great Home Made Bread Using Your Food Processor by Charles van Over.  I will definitely give it another try at some point but because of the heat, it's not the greatest idea to have the oven on.  I had to stick the dough in the fridge last night . . . so that may have messed up the process.  I'll never know till I try again, making sure to start early in the morning. 

At the Altar . . .

So little by little, I've been adding things to my altar to beautify it.  I figure if I'm going to sit there for a time, it should be some place that's beautiful.  

So, it's nice now.  I can't say it's really all tied in, i.e. has a theme, but I like it.  I feel comfortable there.  I purchased the "fruit" today.  It's artificial but it's massively hot right now and real fruit was ripening too quickly.  The bowl was one we've had around for a while that really had no use so I'm happy it's got one now.  Everything else (including my fabulous ottoman) was purchased at the thrift store (including my butsudan).  So all the pieces caught my eye in some way. 

I wish I could spend more time at my altar but there are lots of distractions in my life right now.  Sometimes I feel like if I did spent more time there, I would be more centered and have a bit more clarity about what would make me happy, content and fulfilled and what it is I should really be doing with my life.  Maybe.  Maybe  not. 

Full-time mom?

I have been very careful about not calling myself a full-time mom so as not to offend moms who work out of home.  After all, when a mother heads off to work for 8-10 hours daily she does not stop being a mom.  

But over the last few days, I have decided that I'm going to start calling myself a full-time mom.  I mean, this job that I'm doing is endless.  I don't have a quit time.  It's just what I do all the time.  Except when I'm sleeping (and that's not really true unless the boys stay peacefully asleep the whole night).  Or when I'm eking out a few moments in the morning to workout.  And if I were taking care of someone else's children, this would certainly be called a full-time job.  Plus overtime.  Plus extra days off just because of the high stress nature of the job (shrieking kids, fighting, poop). 

The past few days I've been feeling like going to work would be a welcome reprieve.  Now, the line of work I would be doing (teaching), I know, is not a break.  It is hard work that doesn't end at the end of the school day.  And I'm not quite sure what else I could do with my Master's degree in Childhood Education . . . or what else I would want to do with it.  And in this job market?   I know that on the flip side, being a work-out-of home has it's own challenges and frustrations.  I know . . . but I've been feeling pretty challenged and frustrated with this full-time/overtime gig these past few days.  (((sigh)))  I have been impatient.  Not compassionate.  Short.  Mean.  Annoying.  The whole nine.  I feel like I need a moment . . . no, some moments.  And I know that's not realistic so it just keeps grinding on.  

Hopefully in a few days, I'll feel a shift.  Gain some perspective or something.  Right now, it's just . . . what it is. 

And here's the blanket I made for the shower . . .

Specs: 

Caron Simply Soft Yarn--I cannot emphasize enough how much I hate, hate, hate working with acrylic.  It is a special kind of hell to work with it when it is hot. And it feels like plastic.  Simply Soft is the only acrylic yarn I can even begin to contemplate working with but I really needed the blanket to be hassle free for the mom.  

I used a Size F hook.

The pattern is Rectangle Granny Square which is one my favorite patterns.  It's very easy and you get into a rhythm with it so it's a relaxing project (if you are not up at 12:00 PM furiously crocheting trying to finish it for the shower that's happening the next day).  A few notes about the pattern: I never break my yarn to start a new round.  I simply slip stitch over till I get to the starting corner of the new round.  I bordered the blanket with two rows of single crochet and one row of crab stitch.  I had grandiose ideas of what I wanted to do with the border but ran out of time.  But I think the simple border worked nicely. 

Here it is on Ravelry. 

I was very pleased with how it turned out.  I'm not sure if the mom I made it for will like it but I put a lot of energy and sweat into it so hopefully that counts for something.  

I attended . . .

A baby shower yesterday.  This shower caused me a fair amount of stress for a number of reasons.  Firstly, there was a dress requirement: everyone was supposed to wear white.  I, of course, did not have a white dress.  Luckily, I was able to get one at the thrift store for a few bucks and I liked the dress well enough.  Secondly, there was a specific request for diapers and/or wipes.  I had bought the yarn to make a blanket for the guest of honor way before I ever received the invitation so I was kind of in a tough place deciding should I still go ahead with the blanket or just get the diapers.  I decided to finish making the blanket.  I'm not sure how it will be received.  The shower was to be held at a restaurant and I was unsure about how the bill would be handled and all--and the restaurant was a gourmet kind of place.  Me, being, the picky eater that I am, did not want to be in a position where I had to pay $20+ for food that I wouldn't like.  Turns out the food was already paid for (a BBQ bonanza but I just got a plate of pasta) And then I just had a lot of anxiety about going to a function where the only person I would know was the guest of honor.  Most of my anxiety was self-imposed and I ended up having a nice time after all.

Anyway, I debated bringing a book with me to the event.  Black folks usually don't start anything on time (not being stereotypical--in fact, I was there on time and I am Black . . . generally speaking though) and I was sure that I'd be sitting and waiting for a while.  I decided against bringing the book since I thought it would be in poor taste and folks would probably think I was being anti-social.  Turns out that the guest of honor, in true diva style, was 2.5 hours late.  During the first hour of waiting, there was not much conversation going on.  I really wished I had my book but was happy that I left it at home because I wanted to appear open to socializing.  I'm not the most talkative person but I tried to strike up a conversation with the lady sitting next to me.  I didn't have much success though.

But I noticed something interesting in that hour:  folks had their eyes glued to the mobile devices.  It felt more acceptable and different than if folks had their eyes glued to a book.  Checking e-mail, Facebook and Twitter on the phone, I guess, is a way of connecting--not to the people who are sitting next to you but to the WORLD.  Reading a book, on the other hand, secludes you in a way.  Encloses you in a world to which no one else is privy.  I guess that's why it seems rude to read at a party but not rude to be cozied up to a phone. 

I have to admit:  I wished I had a funky fresh phone so I could have been busy and absorbed too.  Instead, I just kind of kept looking around, looking at my plate and feeling bored while I waited.  And waited.  Luckily, after about an hour or so, we had some more talkative guests (and some more liquor) join the table.  Folks opened up and the conversation was very pleasant. 

I did have a little bit of insecurity because people talked extensively about their careers (many successful/multi-talented women at the table).  I kind of hoped no one would ask me what I did.  I'm sure they didn't want to hear my answer: I clean poop mostly and chauffeur kids to activities that they swear they don't want to go to and then pitch a fit when it's time to leave.  LoL. 

(((sigh))) Today, Z2 decided to remove the liner of his diaper while in the kitchen and drop glops of poop all over the place.  It was seriously gross.  And had me seriously questioning my sanity in choosing to be a stay-at-home mom. 

This shower was like an anthropological study and I was so happy I went.

Photo Credit: "Blackberry" by joodi on Flickr.com

The Joy of Thrifting Returns!

Now that I'm down to a size 6 (wahoo!!), shopping for clothes at the thrift store has become easy and exciting again.  While there have always been lots of clothes available no matter what size I was, at a size 6 not only are there plenty of options, there are plenty of cute options.  I've been able to get great skirts and capri pants; blouses and t-shirts to make up my summer wardrobe.  I would say I have not paid more than $50 for it all.  

Paradoxically, it's become harder to shop for clothes in my neighborhood (aka on the ave in the hood).  I've always been accustomed to buying tank tops and bike shorts or leggings (stuff for exercising or lounging at home that I wouldn't necessarily buy at the thrift store) for cheap on the ave.  Often times I can find merchandise that has "fallen off the back of the truck", i.e. name brand stuff that somehow ended up in these little stores.   A recent expedition to the ave to try to get some new bike shorts/leggings was totally unproductive.  Turns out that they either carry extra-small (like for pre-pubescent girls or really, really skinny women) or medium and up (to xxl).  No smalls!  So my go to for bike shorts/leggings is no longer my go to.  Which kind of sucks.  But whatever.  I'll pony up the $14 it costs to buy bike shorts at Target because exercising in pants in the summer is just . . . not nice.  

Treat a Treat like a Treat

Until I started Weight Watchers, I didn't fully appreciate the extent to which my baking was keeping the weight on me.  Some of my baked delights could turn out to be 5 or 6 points per serving.  And I would, without giving it a second thought, eat 2 or 3.*  I mistakenly thought that since all the cookies, cakes, and pastries I was making were vegan they were better. Turns out that in terms of calories oil is oil (whether it's butter or safflower oil) and flour is flour (whether it's organic unbleached pastry flour or not). and sugar is sugar  (whether it's white sugar or brown rice syrup).   Now,  while I still believe baking vegan treats is ultimately better for your health (no saturated fats, no bleached flour, higher fiber content, etc), I have learned that vegan or not, I have to treat a treat like a treat.  I personally like to have treats every evening in the form of tea and a cookie of some sort.  Recently, I've been having organic graham crackers (just 1 and 1/2 sheets for a grand total of 1.5 points) with my tea and that has been good.  But every so often (not nearly as often as before WW), I get in there and I bake.

Today is one of those days.  Right now as I'm typing this, I have a batch of chocolate chip cookies in the oven.  The aroma is filling the house and it's wonderful.  I made the cookies using Dreena's Vegan Homestyle Chocolate Chip Cookie recipe.  When I was baking so much more frequently, I would avoid this recipe (even though these cookies are seriously to die for) because I didn't want to use expensive maple syrup.  Now that baking is not a tri-weekly bi-weekly event, I don't feel badly about using the maple syrup. It's a treat.  I'm going to treat a treat like a treat.

Oh, by the way, this recipe makes about 12 nice sized cookies and each cookie is 3 Weight Watchers points.  Since I usually allot 1.5 points for a treat daily, I do have to really think about how I'm going to fit it in since I am not about to eat half a chocolate chip cookie!

*Based on my weight, height and activity level, I have 26 points to use daily.  Eating 2 muffins at 5 points a piece means that I only would have 16 points left to use for the day.  And you know I was eating much more than that!

Photo Credit: "Chocolate Chip Cookies" by Cutting Board on Flickr.com

Father's Day Feasting!

A sistren of mine, who I met through my blog, inspired me!  For Father's Day, she planned to make a beautiful lasagne for her kingman's first Father's Day and I thought it was a great idea.  I hadn't planned to do much of anything beyond a card but I figured we hadn't had lasagne is a long time.  Even though we really like lasagne around these parts and my recipe is relatively easy, making lasagne it a multi-step process and involves a lot of dishwashing and clean-up.  Also, we treat processed soy (textured soy prtoein/isolates, etc) as a treat (so we only have it every so often).  But, I think, Father's Day was a special enough day to make it!

We had it with a mixed green salad and a simple vinaigrette.  It was delicious.  And, surprisingly, only 7 Weight Watchers points!

Here's my recipe for Quick and Easy Lasagne. 

I'm posting this while cooking lentil dahl for dinner.  We sure eat multi-culturally around these parts!

Housework and Philosophophizing

I usually clean the bathroom on Mondays (despite numerous attempts at spot cleaning, it seems like I genuinely need to bust the bathroom down at least once a week).  Our bathroom has all the original parts that were installed when the house was built: original tile (wall and floor), bath, toilet, sink and fixtures.  We've added some things to it and gotten rid of other things but overall, the bathroom is fundamentally unchanged.  And it looks every bit of its 70 years!  Our bathroom is extremely functional.  Everything works the way it's supposed to.  It's been through the bitterest of winters and the most extreme summer heat and it's still working.  But there are signs.  Cracks. Crevices. Some tiles have fallen out.  We've tried to re-grout and all that but really, the bathroom just needs to redone.  (Hopefully, next year will be the year.  It would have been this year but after a terrible storm, the water just started pouring into the house which meant the roof took precedence.)

Anyway,  this morning I saw the before and after pictures of a woman (with kids) who had completed P90X (we're on the same message board).  Amazing.  Yesterday, I was doing Chalean Extreme and Chalean pointed to a woman who has 7 kids.  Like physically birthed 7 kids.  Amazing.  I mean, there are *no signs* that these women have had children. 

It got me down.  I mean, I'm thrilled these women look so great but I have to say, it throws me for a loop emotionally.  I look at my toned legs and toned arms and back and the work I've put in is evident.  I look at my midsection and . . . it doesn't look like I've done much at all.  I can see and feel the muscle in my midsection but covering all that muscle is a layer of seriously sagging skin that as far as I can see will never snap back.  And it doesn't look good.  

So I get sad sometimes.  I feel like my bathroom!  Yes, I am fully functional and can do all these wonderful and necessary things but this part of me just doesn't look good and, most likely, no amount of cardio or strength-training is going to make it look better.  It could be genetics.  It could be that I wasn't eating optimally during pregnancy.    I wish I could say that it's probably better than I think but I've worked up the courage to show two (non-hubby) people and they both said, "Well, you could have surgery."  But in my gut I know I won't ever do that.  I don't have anything against cosmetic surgery but I couldn't see myself voluntarily signing up for it (at least that's how I feel right now--it may change).  So it's something I realize that I will have to accept.  And I am.  Slowly.  But every so often, I can't help feeling bad about it. I can't help feeling grossed out when I am doing push-ups, planks, or cat/cow pose and I look down to see the skin just kind of swinging around.  Actually, it's kind of funny and ridiculous and I have learned not to look down. 

When I'm scrubbing the bathroom, I sometimes think how pointless it is: no matter how much I scrub, no matter how much elbow grease, time and effort I put in, things will never gleam or sparkle.  But I keep scrubbing because even if it doesn't look sparkly and new, it will be clean.  I suppose that's my philosophy when it comes to fitness too:  even if it doesn't look super tight and pulled together, it will be strong.  It's the only thing that keeps me going on those difficult days. 

And there you have it: you can indeed come up with profound life philosophies while doing housework!

Picture credit

Been on a forced hiatus . . .

 . . . from exercise.  And I'm feeling really bummed. I had two wisdom teeth pulled last Thursday and I thought it wouldn't be a big deal but one was really impacted and is causing me a lot of pain. I tried strength training on Monday figuring that would be low impact but as soon as the blood started pumping, my mouth started throbbing!  So I quit.  I don't feel that I'm addicted to exercise but I do feel really disappointed that I haven't been able to get it in.  I figure if I were addicted, I would probably have pushed through the pain. 

It's been almost a week of no exercise! And in my head I'm telling myself, "well once you heal you have to really go hard to catch up". But catch up to what? I know that I won't lose all the gains I've made in just a week of no exercise but I'm still very worried about it. I know how much work I had to put in to get into shape and I don't want to go back!

And to add to all this, Z2 is back to his old tricks.  He has been waking up at 6:00 consistently this past week. I usually wake up at 5:00/5:30 to meditate and journal then I start working out at 6:00. It takes me about 10 to 15 minutes to get moving in the morning so I really tend to put pressure on myself to get up at 5 so I get 45 minutes of meditation time.  (Getting up at 5:30 will only leave me 15 minutes.)   With Zephy getting up at 6, my exercise time takes a hit.  I've tried to work out with him around but I can't focus and get into the zone with him there.  He gets in my way, makes noise, and keeps asking for things so I have to stop repeatedly.  I really need him to stay down till 7!  I'm nervous that my working out will be totally screwed when I'm ready to get back in the game next week (hopefully)!  I'm thinking hard about what to do.  Put him to bed later?  That means less sleep for me too!  Try to skip his afternoon nap so he's exhausted at night?  He really doesn't seem to be able to stay up all day. Maybe I can break his afternoon nap?  No more than an hour?  

Anyway, how have you coped at times when you had to take a break from exercise (or anything else you usually do for you) due to injury, surgery or other life circumstance?

What kind of God would . . .

I used to think about this all the time while growing up especially when reading the Old Testament. I was reminded of that today.  I'm reading Traveling Mercies by Anne Lamott and in it she writes about the story of when God asks Abraham to sacrifice his only son Isaac.  

The story filled me with terror as a child.  I knew my parents would do *anything* they believed God was telling them to do because that is how seriously they took their faith.  I knew that given the same injunction by God, they would (potentially) carry it out.  To the end if that's what God told them to do.  To them, Abraham was a hero.  To me, he was a callous, unloving ass. 

The story still makes me uncomfortable especially now that I'm a mother.  I would have to risk eternal damnation before I sacrifice any of my children for any reason.  Now, I realize that some cultures and religions teach that this kind of sacrifice is sometimes necessary but who, pray tell, do my children trust more than me?  I couldn't do it under any circumstances.  I just wouldn't be able to go that distance to prove my loyalty to anyone.  Much less to a God unseen.   I have never been able to make peace with the story even though countless pastors have tried to smooth it over because in the end God did provide a lamb.  But can you image the seer terror of Isaac?  Do you think he would ever be willing to unequivocally trust his father ever again?  Who cares so long as God was pleased, I guess.  

And it always bothered me immensely:  God is supposed to be omniscient . . . why does someone who knows everything need to put his disciples through such tests.  Shouldn't God just know that they are 100% devoted to him?  Other pastors have tried to say that it was for the good of the disciples, good for strenghtening their relationship with God . . . yeah, not buying that argument either. 

There are many examples in the Old Testament that made me uneasy.  The only books I could really stand to read were Psalms and the Proverbs.  I was just always so grateful for the compassion and love the New Testament brought. 

Photo Credit: Abraham and Isaac, 17th Century