One of Life's Simple Pleasure: Popcorn

Popcorn is a light, delicious and healthier snack. At our house, it's one of our absolute favorites. Since we don't own a microwave, we make it right on the stove. Making popcorn at home on the stovetop sometimes proves to be a challenge. You may find that the popcorn comes out chewy or that a lot of the kernels don't pop and it may seem much better to just go on ahead and microwave a bag. There are a few good reasons why you might want to give popping popcorn on the stovetop another try.

1. Microwave popcorn if far more expensive than just the regular popping kernels. Next time you go shopping, take a look. You can buy more plain old popping kernels for less money. A lot more.
   
2. You can't control what is in microwave popcorn: salt, flavorings, and all other kinds of additions. Even the microwave bag is suspect.
   
3. It is really easy to pop corn on your stove top and after you follow these instructions, you'll wonder what the big deal was anyway.

You'll need
1 part oil
2 parts popping corn
So for example, a 1/4 cup oil (4 tablespoons) for a 1/2 cup popping corn
A 3-4 quart heavy bottomed pot and lid (make sure it is a *heavy bottomed pot* or else the popcorn will burn)
Your favorite popcorn bowl

Instructions
Pour the oil into the bottom of the pot and then put in the popping corn. Pick up the pot and move it around so that the kernels form a single layer on the bottom of the pot. Put the lid on and turn the heat up to high. Don't do a thing. Just let the popcorn start popping. In about a minute or so, the popping will become violent. Let it do it's thing. Once the popping slows down, remove the pot from the heat and take off the lid. Transfer the popcorn to your favorite popcorn bowl. Sprinkle with salt or nutritional yeast or eat plain (the hubby loves it plain).

If you follow this method, you will get perfectly popped popcorn. Light, airy. No burned or un-popped kernels.
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Now, if you just like the idea of the convenience of the microwave, I saw on television once (I think it was Alton Brown's show) how you can make microwave popcorn at home. So I searched and found a tutorial for making your own microwave popcorn. It's also a more cost-effective way to enjoy popcorn and just a quick survey of the reviews says it works like a charm. All you need is a brown paper bag and a stapler, your popcorn kernels, oil and flavorings and you're good to go.

Fat, to me, is not a bad thing and is actually necessary in the diet. If you're concerned about the oil, use a good quality oil like high-heat safflower or grapeseed oil. Now the alternative to popping with oil is air popping. I personally find air-popped popcorn to be a little tasteless and bland although it does have much less fat. For devoted air-poppers, though, the challenge is getting the flavor to stick to the popcorn and be distibuted evenly. I was talking with my friend who has an air-popper and she spoke of making a flavor mist for it. I couldn't think of how I'd do it exactly but it's a good idea. Here's a guide for air-popping then spraying with hot sauce. Interesting!

A 1/2 cup dry popcorn kernels yields enough popcorn for my family of four (okay 3 real eaters as Z2 doesn't really get down) with some left over. I've experimented with adding sugar (not so good), kelp powder (not bad), Earth Balance in place of oil (extra-buttery taste), and nutritional yeast (nice and cheesy tasting if you don't add too much). You could do chili powder, black or cayenne pepper, or if grated soy or dairy cheese. There's really no limit.

Popcorn is just one of those simple pleasures in life that everyone can enjoy on the cheap.

Picture 1: "Perfect Popcorn" by tschorda on Flickr
Picture 2: "Love that Popcorn" by Banion1964 on Flickr

Not Feeling It . . .

. . . Not personally at least. The recession/depression, that is. I'm hearing all the news about the layoffs that have already happened and the ones that are coming. I'm hearing the horrific stories of people's hopelessness and desperation because of the loss of their job . I can feel the energy of despondency, worry and uncertainty.

But personally, life is going on as usual for me. I'm fortunate that the hubby has a job in health care that is in demand. He has plenty of opportunity to do overtime. Any financial crunch we might be feeling right now is alleviated with one or two extra shifts. We have been, more or less, financially responsible with our only major debt being our mortgage, student loans and my car (his is paid off). We don't have any credit card debt and with overtime, we can pay down our other debt monthly without too much angst.

In discussing my "out of the loopedness" with the hubby, he pointed out that we've also been living frugally for ages. The thrift store has been part of our lives since we were children. We've been cutting down here and there for a long time without having the intense pressure of survival necessity bearing down on our shoulders. We've been doing it to get ahead not to survive. So if the times now call for us to do it to survive, if that's what it turns into, it's okay because we already know how. When we sat down a few months ago to look at our books and realized we were barely breaking even (our mortgage turned out to be taking a larger percentage of our monthly income than we initially thought it would be due to higher property taxes), we stopped, re-evaluated, cut back and then cut some more. With overtime (without it, I certainly would have had to go back to work), in a few months, we corrected the situation. (We joke when we see something we like but don't need, "Ah, we should have bought that pre-cutbacks.") We're serious and determined. We're able to plan a garden without making too much of a mental jump, and even considering turning the whole backyard, or at least a substantial portion, into a garden. That doesn't blow our minds. We don't miss going out to eat or going to movies because those haven't been big parts of our lives for the longest time. We're not stressing each month about making our credit card payments because we've been realistic about things we need and don't need, can afford and can't afford. I mean, we have debt similar to many Americans but we were already on track to get rid of that debt (i.e. not accruing more). A few months ago I borrowed The Total Money Makeover by Dave Ramsey and was pleasantly surprised to find out that we were following his plan (which some folks swear by) to the letter without ever having read his book.

On other folks' blogs I read about the effects of the recession but I really don't feel it personally and honestly, I wouldn't really know it was going on if I wasn't online/watching television. Over the last week, I've been going back and forth to Target trying to get a yoga mat that works for me. Every time I've been there, no matter what time of day, the lot is packed and there are plenty of folks spending money on all kinds of stuff. The way the media is talking about this recession, I would think by now folks would be coming into Target to maybe get one or two necessities and that's it. But nope, folks are still buying everything and anything. I think that if I worked outside of the home, interacting closely with more adults, I'd maybe get a better sense of the situation. But when I look outside my window, life is going on as usual. While I scour Ebay for cheap workout DVDs, folks around me are still going to the gym. While the library is my main source of entertainment, folks are still going to see movies and still buying DVDs and such. I see Whole Foods on a monthly basis and skip over their produce section altogether but it seems others are not. So I just can't really see it or feel it.

Maybe it's because I live in New York. If you can make it here in New York, they say, you can make it anywhere and it's true. Even driving in NY takes a level of skill and bravery that folks elsewhere don't really grasp. New York is a notoriously difficult place to get along but also rather affluent simply because of what it is. Folks who leave often find it difficult to get re-acclimated to the pace and the requirements and don't return for long. New Yorkers are generally used to used to having ample opportunities to make more money by working harder and hustling, used to being high energy and high intensity. This recession may not be as keenly felt here as it is in other parts of the country. Like the hubby, many folks here seem to be making up for the rising cost of living simply by working more. The city never sleeps so if you don't mind, if you've got it in you, if you need to, you can work when you're supposed to be sleeping.

Of course, I don't think life will go on as usual forever. I know that a change is coming. A fundamental change to the way we live our lives. We'll all feel it eventually. And while I welcome change and look forward to it, a part of me just likes the familiarity of life right now. The convenience. I visited Ghana two years ago and while I loved it, let me tell you, I don't take the advanced U.S. infrastructure for granted: decent roads, sophisticated sewage and garbage collection, reliable power grids. Could I be all right it I didn't have those things. Of course. It was amazing how quickly I got used to not hopping on the net every fifteen minutes. I didn't get online for the whole two weeks I was there because I really didn't want to be bothered with internet cafes which is the way most folks use the internet in Ghana (and in most of Africa).

Well, back to my main point. I'm giving thanks for where we are as a family and I'm happy I'm not feeling it. I can even get some extras here and there within reason. I'm grateful for that indeed because some of the desperate stories I'm hearing drive home the point that these times we are living in can be truly dreadful and if we don't watch it, we can get swallowed up. Easily. I won't talk too much about the importance of keeping our priorities straight but I will say that it's not that serious.

Making the Most of a Mistake

Despite my knitting needle woes, I'd been happily knitting Swing Thing for my son's friend Emma using my Denise needles. Then I realized that I only had two more balls of the yarn I was using and for the first time I checked the pattern to find out how many yards of yarn I'd need to actually complete the project. I don't have any where near enough--I'd need about four more balls to finish. I'm not sure how I just jumped into the project without making sure but here I am, 55% done. I have a few options.

1. Try to hunt around at local yarn stores to see if I can find the exact same yarn, dye lot and everything. There are no guarantees and I really don't want to be dragging the boys around from yarn store to yarn store as yarn stores are notoriously anti-children [and rightfully so--kids like to touch, pick their noses and drool and you can't (or shouldn't) have all of that going on around yarn].
   
2. Keep knitting until I run out of yarn completely and then add on a different yarn for the bottom and sleeves. This might look tacky but it also might come out looking interesting and different in a good way.
3. Frog (take out) the whole thing and use the yarn for something else. I wouldn't want to do this necessarily or at all because I really have labored over it so far. It is a pretty tight stitch on somewhat smallish needles--a lot of stitches. And I really like how it's coming out. It's very pretty and I know Emma would look so adorable in it.
   

But I find myself leaning towards choice 3, partially as a "punishment" for not being more careful/observant before starting a new and rather large project, but also because I really have a vision of how I wanted the sweater to turn out and it did not include a different color. Also, I know how frustrating finding the exact match of yarn can be but for the sake of the work I've already done, I may have to just bear down and try. Choice 3 is also appealing because I have another project in mind that I could use the yarn for: a yoga mat bag.

So I've been trying to find a yoga mat that I could use on top of the carpet in my living room and it has been quite a hunt. Every yoga mat I've tried just moves around the carpet and makes doing the yoga a royal pain in the rear end. Well, I finally found one that's serviceable: a Gaiam Eco Conscious 100% rubber yoga mat. Although I really only used it for the first time this morning, I'm pretty sure it will do. It stayed in place for the most part during my whole yoga routine and I'm also pleased because it doesn't give off noxious fumes like others I'd tried. It does have a rubber smell but it is mild and manageable. It is supposed to have come from a renewable source and is supposed to be biodegradable which are huge plusses.

In any case, to extend the life of the mat, it's recommended that you store it in a yoga mat bag. I've already found a few great patterns for yoga mat bags on the web but I'm pretty sure I'm going to pick a funky crochet stitch pattern from The Ultimate Sourcebook of Knitting and Crochet Stitches and come up with an original bag. The 100% cotton yarn I'm using for Emma's sweater would be perfect--natural fiber, easy to wash and care for. I'm a little leery about the light peach color of the yarn but the bag wouldn't really be going anywhere so I can't see it getting all that dirty. The hardest part of the project itself would be getting the bag to be the right size so that the mat comes out and goes in easily.

Anyway, the yoga mat bag may be the best way to make the most of my mistake.

I spent the last paragraph of this post holding down both the Z's on my lap and trying to type with one free hand. Currently Z1 is waving a book in Z2's face and annoying the hell out of him. Z2 is trying to wiggle out of my arms, pressing buttons, and is taking this drooling thing to another level. My hands are soaked. Adventures in motherhood.

Pushing the Babies

Z2 will be 13 months in two days. Just two days ago, he took his first couple of steps. I was delighted and so was he. But I can't tell you how many folks would query, "Is he walking yet?" and "What's taking so long?" People had all kinds of opinions on why he wasn't walking and advice on what I could do to make him walk more quickly

• "Oh, it's because you carry him too much--you need to put him down!" But most babies in the world are carried. A lot. They still learn to walk.
• "Oh, it's because of those bulky cloth diapers--you need to put him in disposables!" My parent's generation all wore cloth diapers because disposable were not invented yet. Are they still crawling?
• "Oh, it's because you put those soft-soled shoes on him--he needs some of those hard white shoes!" Actually, soft-soled shoes or bare feet are better for the development of a child's feet. Hard, inflexible shoes could perhaps cause a real problem later on down the line.
  

I wasn't surprised, fazed or moved, though. I'm not a new mother so I'm not easily manipulated. I've been down this road before and if there's one thing I've learned, it's that babies and children will all learn and develop at their own pace, in their own time. But I'm surrounded by parents, and we are all part of a society that always feels the need to interfere. To push our babies to the next developmental milestone. It's almost an obsession. I watch as mothers desperately coach their 15-month-olds to speak. Or obsessively try to get their babies to roll over just because some website said that's what they should be doing. Now. Right now. As children get older, parents start to push for other things. Start to worry about other things their kids are not doing right now.

There's nothing inherently wrong with wanting our children to be the best. But I simply don't think it's best to keep pushing and pushing and pushing against our children's natural inclinations and preferences. We do it so often sometimes that we don't even know our children's natural inclinations and preferences.

I think that there are two main issues. Firstly, most of us have stopped being able to follow our gut--about a lot of things actually. We constantly look outside of ourselves. As parents, we look to growth charts, milestone charts, and compare notes with other parents. When our children don't seem to be on target, we get scared and worry that they will be behind for the rest of their lives. Of course, there are times when we realize that our children actually need intervention and help. But that knowledge should be more intuitive than cerebral. I mean, does you child seem frustrated that he/she can't speak? Is he/she trying to communicate with you and just can't? Or is the child happy to not speak because you understand her anyway and she's just not ready to yet? Is everything else okay otherwise? Then just relax and let her get there at her own time. Pushing often just backfires and stresses you, the parent, out. Trust me. I know. I did my fair share of pushing with Z1 who decided to walk at the elderly age of 15 months. And the next day, started to out-run walkers who'd been walking since 9 months. Did you think I was going to push Z2 then? No way. How can we learn to trust ourselves and our instincts again? Practice.

And then the second major issue is, of course, the human tendency to always compare ourselves with others. I grew up being compared to children around me. "Why can't you be more outgoing like so-and-so?" and "Why don't you do it this way like so-and-so did?" I know these comparisons were all good-intentioned attempts to get me to push myself harder, to do better And it worked but it also made me insecure, competitive and aggressive (academically at least), drained the joy out of things I would have otherwise enjoyed, or made me avoid doing things that I might have loved to do. So comparing is something I'm determined not to do with my children. When I'm at playgroups and other activities for children, I will simply not engage in those parental games. I don't care if your child could read the entire dictionary at 3 months. My child may never read the dictionary. He'll read though. At his own pace. And I will help him or get him help if he needs help. And there will be no shame at all about any of it. You see, underlying all this worry and obsessiveness about meeting milestones is that somehow our kids won't measure up. That they won't be as good as. That they are defective. Of course naturally we look at our children's peers to gauge what should normally be going on at any given age but after we do that, we should take a step back and give our children the space to be uniquely themselves--quirks and slowness (or quickness) and all. All humans, even little humans, are uniquely original, made the way they are supposed to be. There simply is no comparison. For me, that has been an empowering and freeing lesson in parenting but also in regards to my own personal growth.

Anyway, as I watch Z2 master walking, I'm a bit emotional. This may be the last baby of mine that I will watch achieve this milestone. I believe I'm here to teach my children but my children have taught me so much about life and about myself already. And there's so much more to learn.

Every craftsperson . . .

. . . falls into one of four categories when it comes to how they organize their tools and supplies:

1. organized and neat--Clever storage tactics mean that everything has a place and goes back to that place whenever she is finished. Tools and supplies are quickly and easily located. Nothing is hanging out of things or disheveled.
   
2. organized and messy--The craftsperson is indeed organized but to someone looking in, it looks a hot mess. Stuff is everywhere and one really wouldn't know what's going on. But the craftsperson is able to quickly and easily locate tools and supplies.
   
3. disorganized and neat--Clever and cute storage tactics hide the fact that the craftsperson has no idea where things are and goes on a rampage to find tools and supplies whenever a new project idea hits
   
4. disorganized and messy--Everything looks a hot mess. Everything is a hot mess. Starting a new project means starting the project of locating supplies and untangling stuff.

I like to think that I'm somewhere between 1 and 2.

Knitting roll that I sewed
Used fabric left over from a ring sling I sewed. Holds Double Pointed Knitting Needles and Crochet Hooks











































Plastic Pencil Case
Holds knitting/crochet implements (tape measure, scissors, cable needles, stitch markers, knit-chek, stitch holders, etc)




























Photo Album
Holds circular knitting needles




























Miscellaneous straight and circular needles














and my Denise Set





























which are stored in my 3-drawer Sterilite storage unit with purple storage tote for completed work next to it














How I carry my works in progress around . . . (no I didn't sew it)





























Works in progress that stay home . . .














Somewhat organized patterns . . .
Clear multi-pocket portfolio with patterns stuffed in it (I'm leaning more towards Category 2 with this one)




























Not bad, I think.

My knitting needle broke

The plastic cord on my cheap Ebay "made in China" bamboo circular knitting needle broke. It's the one I'm using to make a Sweater for Emma. I guess it just got too cold and snapped. I really don't want to use my Denise Set but I would like to keep going on the project. I'm about 55% done. Ugh . . . I may have to look into purchasing the quality KnitPicks Options set. Hopefully, they will last a lifetime and maybe even be in good enough shape to bequeath to someone. (((Sigh)))

Perception = Reality

I asked a while back: Do you really make the world with your thoughts? The more I think about this question, the more I realize that to a very, very large extent, we do. The way we react and interact with the world and all the people and things in it is totally based on what we perceive. So, perception really does equal our reality.

For example, if your perception is that resources are scarce, that is indeed your reality and you will behave accordingly. And you know what? No one can to tell you that your reality is not the truth because all your senses (ways of knowing) have affirmed that to you. Now, you can always reflect on why you are perceiving things the way you are and sometimes you will realize that your perception was false. Sometimes gentle, loving people that you might meet in your life might help you with those realizations. Other times, however, it just strikes you because you realize how limiting your perception is and you just want to be free. I know that personally I have done a lot of spiritual and mental work to change my perceptions in the interest of being truly free and happy.

But I still have work to do.

Yesterday evening I had a severe allergy attack. Sneezing. Itchy, watery, swollen eyes. It was awful. I managed to get everyone ready for bed but I couldn't really sleep. Eventually I gave in and took my allergy medication. The stuff knocked me out cold and when the alarm rang at 5:00Am, I was hardly ready to get up so I re-set it for 6. I woke at 5:45. Everyone was still sound asleep so I thought I'd try to get some meditation in and workout. I started to write in my journal and realized I felt so very rush. My perception was that there was just not enough time to meditate the way I needed to and exercise. So I was hurriedly writing in my journal, rushing, rushing, rushing to get my thoughts out and time just seemed to be flying by. I then opened Meditations to Heal Your Life, almost convinced that exercise just wouldn't happen today, and landed on the entry called "Time".

Full Stop.

My perception was that there was not enough time to do what I had to do so I felt rushed. And time was therefore rushing by. My perception right there was dictating what I was experiencing. So I took a deep breath and repeated "I have enough time to do what I need to do." I spoke those words into myself. And I did have enough time to chant the way I wanted, write what I wanted, exercise how I wanted and even get a minute to read blogs. My children stayed peacefully asleep while I did what I had to do. Now, tomorrow I'll probably be up by 5 and do what I need to do before 6:30 but today was a day when I could have easily ended up feeling crunched, frustrated and disappointed but a shift in my perception gave me the freedom to do all the things I needed to do to start the day off properly. To be a smiling, content, balanced, and ready mother and wife this day.

Now, in my life I have had many instances when people have tried to tell me that my perception was wrong. That what I saw wasn't really what I saw. And what I heard wasn't really what I heard. But I'm so convinced that perception equals reality. If what I saw I perceived as abuse, it was abuse. If what I felt I perceived as neglect, it was neglect. If what I perceived was that I was being looked down upon, I was being looked down upon. In this regard, the only thing that matters, the only thing that's real is what I perceive. In all honesty, no one has the right to tell me how to feel or to tell me how I feel, what I perceive is wrong even if in his/her mind, my perception is a flat out lie. My perception comes from somewhere! What's been said. What's been done. My own personal history and how I've learned to negotiate the world and behave in relationships. So it's legitimate and the truth to me. Still, the onus is entirely on me to constantly check how I am perceiving things. Self-reflect. Ask myself honest questions. Dig deep to find the answers. Don't be afraid to just ask folks even if it offends or hurts feelings to make sure that I am perceiving things correctly. (Note to self: I should call that the mama I met in the park that I perceived didn't call me because she thinks it's weird that I cloth diaper and don't comb my kids' hair . . . she might have just misplaced my number.) It's so important because what's real to me is what I perceive and if my perception is wrong, well, then my reality is a sham. When others confront me when they have issues with me, I try to keep this in mind. What someone might be perceiving as me being conceited or haughty when I keep to myself might actually be me being shy or preoccupied. I should hope that before they walk away with that perception, they give me a chance to influence it. I should hope that I'm able to listen carefully and with humility so I can either give them a thumbs up on their perception or tell them they are actually mis-perceiving (in a way that doesn't reinforce the mis-perception, of course).

Which brings about my next point. We all have different perceptions and so we all have different realities. How do we live together if we are all essentially living in different worlds? I think the key is to acknowledge that we all perceive things in different ways while doing our best to erase mis-perceptions about ourselves and the groups we choose to belong to and realizing that the ultimate truth, the ultimate reality, the truest perception is somewhere over our heads. Somewhere we can't really get to while limited by this flesh.

Anyway, with each passing day the Buddha's words make more sense to me:
With our thoughts we make the world.

Me at 3 or 4

Finally learning how to use my scanner!

Here's me as a little girl . . . My hair looks like it's double strand twisted but my mom actually used thread to kind of wrap my hair (a popular traditional hairstyle). I love this picture and when I look at it now (indeed all my many childhood and teenage pictures), I can't even understand how I believed the lie that I was ugly! Here's to embracing the truth and eschewing the lie! What a cutie!!

A Book and A Burger: Two Recommendations

First the book. I really love reading and books. Sometimes I think I'd like to go back to school to become a librarian just so I could always be around books. I know that the times are rapidly changing and with things like Kindle, books will most likely go the way of tapes and compact disks. But I still love to hold a book, smell its pages, lay it on a table with a bookmark stuck in it, close it shut, thoroughly satisfied after I've read it. But I digress . . .

More than the romance of book reading, I love the usefulness of books. Reading is how I learn best. In my quest to live a more natural life, reading has been the one tool that has really informed and enlightened me.

So today I'd like to share one book that has really helped me keep my house a non-toxic place and I'm recommending it today after cleaning my hardwood floor with a recipe from this book: Clean House, Clean Planet by Karen Logan. Sometimes we think chemicals will do a better job of cleaning because they are harsh and are marketed as able to do "all the work" for us with little or no effort on our part. But no chemical laden wood floor cleaner has come close to the one I made up here at home using basic ingredients. This is the best cleaner bar none for cleaning hardwood floors. And the greatest thing about it is that I don't have to hold my nose or brave an all out allergy attack episode in order to have sparkling, beautiful hardwood floors. There are many other recipes in the book but it also gives lots of useful information about commercial cleaners and rates the effectiveness of all the recipes she gives. She also recommends natural cleaners. But with just vinegar, baking soda, Dr. Bronner's Castile Soap, and essential oils, the whole house can be sparkling clean and fresh smelling without the dangers of chemicals. Now, I'm going to be completely honest: I still have bleach and Ajax powder cleaner in the house but these are very rarely used nowadays. I have a white enameled cast iron sink and mostly, these two chemical cleaners are the only things that will get it white, i.e. the stains out. (More and more, the non-whiteness bothers me less and less.) I also use Bio-Kleen All-Purpose Cleaner in the Kitchen for the stove and appliances (Dr. Bronner's Sal's Suds is just a bit too strong for me and basic castile soap is not strong enough on the grease). So essentially what I'm saying is that you don't have to be a purist but it's a great step in the right direction in terms of your own health and the Earth's health when you quit using chemical concoctions to clean your whole house. There are plenty of effective alternatives and this book is a nice guide to helping you find the one's that work for you.

Now the burger. I found the recipe on Vegan Dad, a fabulous and creative blog. The burger is called the Perfect Tempeh Burger and that it is. It is flavorful and has a great texture that is similar to the texture of Amy's California Veggie Burger. Also, if you buy your tempeh at Trader Joe's where it's less than $2, for the price of one box of Amy's burgers, you can make this recipe twice, i.e. about 12 burgers. Unfortunately for me, it's obvious that I cannot tolerate wheat gluten so this recipe is not one I can eat. I'll be sticking to The Absolute Best Homemade Veggie Burger. But this is a great one to make for the hubby and I think with a little tweaking of the spices, it could be a nice breakfast patty.

Reuse

A few months ago, we went to Costco and bought these organic animal crackers to go with our evening tea. It's actually a pretty durable tub and we were so hesitant to throw it away so we held on to it at the risk of feeling packrat-ish. Our basement, where the washing machine and dryer are, is a bit damp and so any powdered laundry detergent that is not in an airtight container will get really clumpy. It's just not fun breaking up big clumps of soap to do laundry (diapers specifically). So we bought the latest box of powdered detergent and I had resolved to just take the soap down any time I needed to do the wash. Then the hubby remembered the Costco cookie container. We re-used it to hold soap powder.

The packaging for some of the stuff we buy as Americans is just really unnecessary. Too much plastic. Too much paper. Just too much. Personally, I hate all the waste. I hate that we are living in such a throw-away society. One-time use this and disposable that.

But I love to be able to re-use things, I mean really usefully re-use things. I saved all the wrapping paper and gift bags from Z1's baby shower. He's 3 now and I am just now running out of gift wrapping stuff! I always save the wrapping paper, ribbons and stuff because to me, it's just not garbage. I go to the thrift store not only because it's thrifty but because the clothes there are usually very slightly used. I know we could get so much more out of them before they go in the trash.

Not to get on any high horses or be preachy but I think we are all coming to see now that we are to be guardians and stewards of the Earth in whatever little or (and big) ways we can. A whole bunch of little gestures make a grand one.

Anyway, what have you re-used lately?

Extending the Life of My Digital Camera

So yesterday I wanted to upload some pictures of me wearing Z2 in the carrier from my camera. No matter how I held the cord or jiggled it, I couldn't get the pictures on to the computer. I figured it was time to finally bite the bullet and get a new camera. I already know the one I would get. No more than $100 with good reviews. But I thought I would go to Best Buy and see if maybe I could find another cord thinking that maybe the cord was worn out and that was the problem. Well, Best Buy didn't have a cord but they did have a memory card reader which cost me about $18 with tax. Not bad. So basically all I have to do is pop the memory card out of the camera and into the reader and I can transfer my pictures this way. The hubby doesn't hold out much hope for this alternate method because he thinks that soon enough, the camera will stop being able to use the memory card altogether. Too much moving of parts and eventually the port will get worn out or break--there's only so much you can do to get around planned obsoleteness. I think if it extends the life of the camera another year or so, it's cool. We might see the price of the camera we want go down a few bucks. In any case, I will probably not be popping it in and out all the time so I'll try to wait till I have a few pictures taken before I transfer them. So anyway, here's to posting more pictures on the blog.

What if?

The Inaugural Poem was hard for me to listen to. It was a bit too, ummm, prose-y. Sounded like a speech or a creative story. But I had said that I would find the text and read it because I had read a post by Anxious Black Woman about the poet Elizabeth Alexander as a poet to watch. I searched for and found the text of the poem and I think the problem was just the delivery because it was a beautiful, just beautiful (actual) poem:

Praise song for the day.

Each day we go about our business, walking past each other, catching each others' eyes or not, about to speak or speaking. All about us is noise. All about us is noise and bramble, thorn and din, each one of our ancestors on our tongues. Someone is stitching up a hem, darning a hole in a uniform, patching a tire, repairing the things in need of repair.

Someone is trying to make music somewhere with a pair of wooden spoons on an oil drum with cello, boom box, harmonica, voice.

A woman and her son wait for the bus.

A farmer considers the changing sky; A teacher says, "Take out your pencils. Begin."

We encounter each other in words, words spiny or smooth, whispered or declaimed; words to consider, reconsider.

We cross dirt roads and highways that mark the will of someone and then others who said, "I need to see what's on the other side; I know there's something better down the road."

We need to find a place where we are safe; We walk into that which we cannot yet see.

Say it plain, that many have died for this day. Sing the names of the dead who brought us here, who laid the train tracks, raised the bridges, picked the cotton and the lettuce, built brick by brick the glittering edifices they would then keep clean and work inside of.

Praise song for struggle; praise song for the day. Praise song for every hand-lettered sign; The figuring it out at kitchen tables.

Some live by "Love thy neighbor as thy self."

Others by first do no harm, or take no more than you need.

What if the mightiest word is love, love beyond marital, filial, national. Love that casts a widening pool of light. Love with no need to preempt grievance.

In today's sharp sparkle, this winter air, anything can be made, any sentence begun.

On the brink, on the brim, on the cusp -- praise song for walking forward in that light.

I absolutely love it.

What if the mightiest word is love, love beyond marital, filial, national. Love that casts a widening pool of light. Love with no need to preempt grievance.

What if??

There's Freedom in Babywearing

This post has been a long time coming. I had a draft saved from November and am now taking the time to write about the one thing that has so powerfully influenced my experience as a mother: babywearing.
Now, "babywearing" is just the new, modern term applied to something that is ancient and original to African peoples (as well as to other people all over the world). In many places, the primary form of transportation for babies is not strollers, "bucket" car seats or cars. It is mama's back. There's nothing new under the sun and today "babwearing" is all the rage. You can even find designer baby carriers and, at the risk of sounding snarky, folks who get all on their high horse about how much better carrying babies is for the baby as if we, the original peoples, haven't been carrying babies on our backs for millenia. As if they've just "discovered" a la Christopher Columbus style, something new and fascinating in it's "primitiveness".

You see, carrying your baby on your person is just practical. In our traditional African society (and in many other traditional societies), women didn't leave their babies to go to work. Your baby went everywhere with you. And the way this was achieved was through babywearing. When baby was ready to nurse or use the bathroom, you just undid the fabric and tended to his/her needs. It was simple. Fluid. Part of every day life. Not a part of "attachment parenting" or any kind of showy demonstration of how "in touch" a mother was with her child. It was natural. It was original. It was naturally and originally and authentically attachment parenting.

Since I had been born and raised in the U.S., I did not know many aspects of Igbo culture. The food we ate was predominantly foods we would have eaten in Nigeria but for the most part, culturally speaking, I grew up as an American with Nigerian parents. As a child, my grandmother spent extended time with us on two occasions: once when my little sister was born and once when my little brother was born and it was during these times that I learned a lot about the culture I came from. "Mama" would sometimes go outside to hang clothes on the line (after washing them by hand because she felt the machine didn't get them clean) without a top on, breasts exposed. My mother promptly told her that here in America, that would be indecent exposure. Mama found underwear (panties) to be extremely uncomfortable and wouldn't wear them. My mother told her that here in America, people wear underwear. Most importantly for me to see, though, was Mama carrying my brother on her back with a wrapper, a simple piece of fabric, part of an old dress. She carried him to do everything: cook, clean, wash clothes. He would fall asleep back there and be most comfortable and content. I didn't think about that again until I had my first son.

After giving birth to Z1, I was immediately impressed by how much he needed to be held. Other babies seemed to sleep and sleep some more. Z1 slept for 5 minute intervals and then would wake up screaming and inconsolable. For one month, I was completely unable to do anything other than hold Z1. I'd try to do things one handed or else leave him in his bouncer screaming just so I could get something done. My babywearing was a result of necessity. We'd tried the Baby Bjorn and if he was angry before, he was positively irate at being placed in that thing. Add to that the fact that to me, it felt cold and mechanical with all the straps and buckles. It didn't feel right. So I went online and started to search for something that would hold him close to me so that he'd feel secure and tight. That's when I realized just how many various kinds of ways there are to wear your baby. The theme though is that they are all just pieces of fabric. Some are more complex then others but all of them keep baby close and secure. I won't try here to talk about every kind of baby carrier because there are fabulous resources online where you can learn anything and everything you ever wanted to know about babywearing. I'm just going to speak on the the types of carriers I've used.

The first type of carrier I bought was a stretchy wrap called a Moby Wrap. A wrap is basically a long piece of narrow cotton fabric (about 5 yards long). There are two main kinds: stretchy or woven. I opted for the Moby Wrap because it was cheaper than any of the woven wraps on the market at the time and I loved it for a newborn. It was soft and pliable. Z1 also loved it and spent the majority of the day in his wrap. It was perfect for him as a newborn. As he got older though, the stretchiness of the wrap made it difficult for me to wear him comfortably. Also, because of the length of the wrap, I couldn't put him on comfortably if we were out without the fabric dragging all over the floor. By the time he hit 16 lbs (at 16 weeks), I was on to the next carrier.

The next carrier I used was a sling. I bought an Ellaroo Lightly Padded Sling on Ebay and it was very handy in that I could put it on and pop Z1 in quickly. By this time, he could support his head well and would sit upright. (Z1 didn't tolerate the sling as a newborn because he did not like to be lying down.) The Ellaroo was nice but I didn't feel like I could tighten it as tight as I would like. So I took out my sewing machine and sewed a sling using this pattern. It was an easy project considering that all I really knew in the way of sewing was how to thread the machine. The sling I sewed was perfect and met my needs for a long time. Slings, however, have the drawback of not distributing weight evenly and so by the time I'd carried him for about 30 minutes, I was in pain.

It was at this point that I thought about my grandmother and how she carried my brother. I really don't know what took me so long. Since I hadn't paid all that much attention to how my grandmother actually got him up there, I hit the web to try to figure out how to carry Z1 using a wrapper. I found excellent videos on The Mamatoto Project that jogged my memory. As soon as I figured out how to carry Z1 with my wrapper (which doubled as my summer blanket and bathrobe), I quickly abandoned the sling. I felt liberated with Z1 safely out of the way on my back but with him so happy and content back there. I felt so close to him and he felt so safe back there. He never cried back there. Could stay there for hours. And, even though it had come in such a roundabout way, I felt so connected to my grandmother and all Igbo and West African mothers who were wearing their babies this way. It felt so natural and so right. The other carriers I had tried were great but nothing could compare to carrying my baby the way my great grandmother carried my grandmother and the way my grandmother carried my mother and my baby brother. It is to this day my favorite carrier. Two years ago when we visited Ghana, Z1 was two and I was pregnant with Z1. This simple piece of fabric came with me to Ghana and was how I carried my little one there. I felt so connected to all the other mothers I saw on the road who held their babies this way--such a commonplace sight. Nobody gawked and told me how cool I was to carry the baby that way. It was so powerful and fabulous. It's a great bonus that the wrapper is so small. It takes up no space in my bag and I can use it as a blanket for the baby if I need to.

I have tried other carriers including an Asian Baby Carrier which I sewed myself using this pattern. I love this carrier too even though I am not as emotionally and spiritually attached to it. It is, still, a traditional carrier and so I do have a soft spot in my heart for it. This carrier is great because the weight is evenly distributed and for older, more active babies it gives them a little bit more room to wiggle their legs and arms while not needed to be retied which means it feels a bit more secure. It's also a little bit more rugged--I feel more comfortable running around after Z1 with Z2 on my back in the ABC carrier. Before I sewed the ABC carrier I tried an Ergo baby carrier and while many people swear by the Ergo, it was uncomfortable for me and Z1 and also felt a little to "un-roots", i.e. un-authentic (very similar feeling to the Baby Bjorn).

Babywearing is liberating to me in a lot of ways. With Z2 on my back I clean and cook and do so many of the things I need to do including using the bathroom sometimes and teaching or doing puzzles or other activities with Z1. Z2 is content back there on my back and I can do so much. I don't even know how folks who don't wear their babies get things accomplished.

The baby that is worn feels safe and loved. The babywearing mother is secure knowing the baby is so close. You can naturally fend off unwanted touching of your baby because people are less apt to violate your personal space. You are naturally free to use both of your hands. For those of us working to get that baby weight off, the extra weight makes mundane activities such as picking up toys or climbing stairs to do laundry calorie burning tasks.

I still have my strollers (a single and a double) which are invaluable to me especially during winter months when babywearing outside is largely impractical and uncomfortable for me and often dangerous. Deciding to wear your baby doesn't have to be an all or nothing kind of thing. Using your stroller doesn't mean that your baby will not feel safe and loved! Please understand: that is not the point I am trying to make! Some babies (like Z2) really enjoy being in the stroller (and in the pack and play for that matter). Babywearing is simply one more tool a parent has in his/her possession that makes the job of parenting easier and more joyful.

Babywearing can be as simple or as complex as you'd like. As roots or as designer as you wish. You don't have to spend hundreds of dollars on a carrier if you don't want to. If you'd like to start babywearing or if the baby carrier you're using now isn't working for you, there are so many options out there. Please check out these resources and WEAR YOUR BABY:
The Babywearer (you have to sign up but it's well worth it)
The Mamatoto Project
The Babywearing Forum at Mothering.Com
The Tummy2Tummy Project (an instructional DVD)
Wears the Baby

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History

I didn't get the time yesterday to blog about Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. I wanted to do the post justice. But I'm taken by the significance of yesterday (MLK Day) and today (Obama's Inauguration). This picture says so much (and also leaves a lot unsaid). As a mother, I'm especially moved by the inclusion of Emmett Till and those Four Little Girls in this picture. I pray, hoping against all odds and all history that we are well on our way to equality and justice for all.

My favorite quote from Dr. King (and the one that's under my picture in my high school year book):

The ultimate measure of a man is not where he stands in moments of comfort and convenience, but where he stands in times of challenge and controversy.

I am working every day to be that kind of person, a person of character. And I'm working too to raise men who stand.

Unlikely Expressions of Self-Love

I spend quite a bit of time washing little people and things so my hands are in water a lot. I know that many folks deal with dry skin during the winter, myself included. My hands being wet so often would be a recipe for really rough, painfully dry and cracked skin. So when washing dishes or cleaning, I diligently make sure to put on a pair of latex gloves. My favorite kind are Mr. Clean Mega Grip Latex Gloves with Grippers because they are durable, come up high on my arm and have little grippers that keep things from slipping out of my hands. They are also orange which is a nice change of pace from yellow (tee-hee). Wearing the gloves also allows me to wash using very hot water which is essential for cleaning things like my cast iron cookware. I'm mindful to take the moment or two to put on the gloves even though many times I'm tempted to just wash the one or two things in the sink and not bother.

After bathing the Z's or washing their hands or my hands, I'm diligent about putting on lotion. My favorite is Avalon Organics Lavender Hand and Body Lotion. It is an all-natural lotion that is luxurious. It absorbs quickly to leave my hands feeling soft and looking healthy. My second favorite is Trader Joe's Lotion which is unscented and is a little cheaper than the Avalon. It works well too.

In addition to gloves and lotions, I pay attention to keeping my nails clean and trimmed. My nails are naturally strong and grow very long. I've never worn tips or had any kind of set and every time I go to get a manicure, I'm always complimented. (This makes up somewhat for my hair issues). With young kids though, long, manicured nails are impractical but I still like to have a nice looking hand (and feet too).

Every night before I go to bed each night, I put lotion on my hands and feet and lip balm on my lips. I may not be able to go all out in terms of a beauty regimen but I want to keep things looking healthy and beautiful, keep the foundation strong. Believe it or not, these little actions of putting on gloves, lotion and lip balm are some of the ways in which I put myself first, take care of myself first. Often times, I am doing these things while a child impatiently waits to be picked up or is loudly demanding a snack. It's so easy to just try to rush to get things done and forget the tiny little things that make me feel better about me.

Who knew that putting on latex gloves, applying lotion and lip balm could be such powerful expressions and affirmations of self-love?