The "Secret" Ingredient is getting too pricey!

One of the first things you learn when cooking vegetarian foods is that it's important to find ways to infuse the food with flavor.  You don't have the fats and flavors from meat/fish to rely on so you have to find that elsewhere.  Perhaps the most important way is through fresh and interesting ingredients including spices.  Another important way is through vegetable broth.

Now, making vegetable broth is not that hard and it's what I used to do when I first became vegetarian.  I would make a whole pot of it and freeze it and use it in portions.  But because I was only feeding one person (myself) I found that I wasted a lot of it and it was taking up a lot of space in my freezer.

Growing up, my mom had always used Maggi cubes to enhance the flavor of her food and so I went off in search of a vegan version of the bouillon cube.  I found what I was looking for at the health food store and was happy to use them until I realized a key ingredient found in both Maggi and health food store bouillon cubes is derived from MSG (that's yeast extract).  There's really one bouillon I've found that doesn't contain the ingredient and it's actually a vegetable broth powder by Vogue Cuisine.  There are other makers of vegetable broth powders but I like Vogue Cuisine's the best in terms of taste and the others still have the yeast extract.  I have only been able to find Vogue Cuisine's vegetable broth powder at two health food stores, one which is close by rather expensive (so I can't buy anything else there--I have to go specifically for the broth powder) and the other a bit further in the city (although I can do all my grocery shopping there).  I have been opting to buy it at the closer store.  This additive was worth it and I was willing to pay the $4.50 for the 4 ounce jar.  Well, today I went to buy it and they were charging $5.15 for the 4 ounce jar!  I laughed out loud shaking my head.  It's one teaspoon of broth powder for ever cup of liquid.   Today's split pea soup had about 14 cups of water--so it would need almost 6 tablespoons of vegetable broth powder!  That's making what should be a relatively cheap soup much more expensive.  I still ended up buying four jars with the clear understanding that I have to do something different--either suck it up and drive to the city and get it or . . . try this recipe for vegan chicken-style broth powder or this variation.  I can get nutritional yeast pretty inexpensively from the bulk bins at whole foods so this might be worth a try.  If I had a deep freezer, I would really just prefer to go back to making the broth from scratch.  It's so simple!  But then again, I like the idea of freezing the broth in in ice cube trays--that would reduce a lot of waste.  I will try that too.  But, oh, the broth powder was so . . . easy.  (((sigh)))

Are there any other inexpensive flavor enhancement tricks that I'm missing?

Power to the Peaceful Yoga

This is the yoga DVD I did today.  I wish I had read the Amazon.com reviews a little more thoroughly. While I'm not a rank beginner, I wouldn't classify myself as intermediate yet.  Usually, that's not too big an issue because yoga instructors on the DVDs will offer and/or demonstrate modifications to the advanced poses.  Not so in this DVD.  At first, it seemed there were some modifications as a nod to folks who are not as advanced.  And then the instructors completely forgot about beginners.  "Next pose, head stand."  They're in headstand for almost all the breaths before one of the instructors says that if you can't do it, lean against a door.  And if you can't get into the pose leaning against a door?  Just sit there and watch them do it!!  There was also very little in the way of detailed instructions as to what your body should be doing/feeling like in each pose which made me have to stop what I was doing and really get close to the computer to see exactly what they were doing. And then many times realizing there was no way I was going to get my body to do that--at least not today or anytime in the near future. :)

Anyway, I liked the DVD because it introduced me to some new poses after doing some real heat-building preliminary poses (sun salutations--fast).  I wished for a little bit more or at least (like Baron Baptiste does in Trainer's Edge Yoga) re-building the heat a bit after you've been doing more stationary poses.  I actually liked the music and didn't find it distracting.  The instructors counted breaths which helped me keep my mind focused on breathing.

The only thing I really took issue with was Sharon Gannon pushing vegetarianism and veganism.  I get it.  Some folks feel the way the eat is activism and is spiritual and can change the world and all that.  It's important to Ms. Gannon, I get that.  [I know that a dietary change including no animal products has changed folks' lives. Mine?  I think I complicated things for the worst.  I eat tofu?  Takes forever to digest sometimes with  massive amounts of gas. I eat a piece of salmon, by dinner, I'm completely empty--literally.]  Anyway, say it once and drop it.  Instead, she mentioned it once.  And then really pushed it a second time which was annoying.  I just wish folks, especially those traveling alternate paths from the dominant practices, would let up on certain things at times and give others space to do what makes them feel best/better.

I didn't mind the other philosophical speak that the instructors shared throughout the workout because I actually agreed with a lot of it. Much of what they said was in line with my own world view.  I really liked that the instructors on this video made such an effort to connect the practice of yoga in a meaningful way to our everyday living.

I skipped the mantra part in the beginning.  I need to look up the meaning before I jump right in to chanting it.  My relaxation/savasana was cut short by Z2 screaming.

I will probably look to do this DVD again in a few years when I am more advanced.  It's very different from others I have done and as much as I could, I enjoyed it.

A Broad Musical Palate

Since I grew up in a very conservative Christian household, we were not allowed to listen to secular music.  In fact, the radio was usually tuned to Family Radio which was unexciting to say the least.  So for the first thirteen years of my life, I had no idea what was going on in music.  Around this time, though, my father joined Columbia House and we finally got some interesting (though unwanted) music like Baroque Duet by Kathleen Battle and Wynton Marsalis (Eternal Source of Light was one of my favorites but I actually learned most of the album in Italian), a Ray Charles "Best of" double CD, a Motown compilation CD, the soundtrack to The Phantom of the Opera.  These CDs kind of were just around but my parents didn't listen to them and I'm sure they wouldn't have approved.  (In fact, I think I got in trouble one time when my dad found one opened that he didn't open.)  I played them constantly and enjoyed them whenever I could--when my parents were out or busy.  I entertained dreams of becoming an opera singer and was told by a few folks that I was pretty good.

Anyway, I was so woefully removed from popular music for so much of my life, I feel like I've been playing catch-up ever since.  Since I hang out with folks who are usually 10 years older than me, they usually try to clown me about not knowing obviously popular songs--that I was just a thought when the song was hot.  Sometimes it's true.   Sometimes it's not.  Sometimes I can't say for sure.  Did I simply miss it because I was under a parental rock it or did it really come out before my time?

I've been doing a good job of catch up I think.  It started with my Walkman that I got freshman year of high school when I started to take the bus by myself.  My little Aiwa Walkman gave me a chance to listen to music privately (it definitely didn't cost as much as the one I linked to).  I began listening to Hot 97 and pretty soon, I knew all the currently popular songs.  But then I started to feel guilty thinking that Christian people should listen to music that glorifies God or at least music that didn't talk about sinful things like sex.  So I stopped listening to the radio.  My school friend was able to procure two tapes for me: Erykah Badu's Baduizm and Room 112, 112's second album. Around junior year, I went back to listening the radio again (starting to feel trapped by Christianity or at least my parents' version) and got hooked on Jay-Z.  I bought his albums and hid them lest my parents find out and bug out.

In college, I was all about reggae and built a pretty impressive reggae collection.  It started out with Bob Marley (of course) and it went from there.  I played this music in the house and it was the source of many, many fights between my father and I.  He would swear that he smelled marijuana in my room (but it couldn't have been).  But I loved reggae and needed it at that time in my life.  I still love reggae tremendously but I'm sometimes surprised at how much I've branched out and reached back in time with my musical choices.  I will listen to Otis Redding just as readily as Luciano or Ludacris (clean versions now because of the kids--and some tracks I have to skip altogether).  I still pop in Kathleen Battle from time to time.  I love soukous and rock to Fela (who was introduced to me by an ex-boyfriend).  To say my tastes in music are eclectic would be a spot-on observation!  I wouldn't know even know how to describe what I've got going on in I-tunes.  Almost every genre (including gospel because I loves me some Clark Sisters, Tramaine Hawkins and Fred Hammond) is represented.

What am I listening to now?  Peter, Paul and Mary.  It's not something I would have dreamed I would like so much ten years ago but I really do.

So it's been an interesting musical journey--and it's not over yet.  I still wish I could have been musical myself in some way.  I think that I might like to be a back-up singer for someone.  I wonder at times should I take up piano again--I did enjoy it.  I'm hoping to find a secular choir or singing group to join once the kids get a bit older.    I want to make sure the kids are surrounded by all kinds of music too.  I'm not going to wax poetic about the importance of music but if I can convey to them the value of music, I think I would have given them a priceless gift.

I may be a very picky eater but my musical palate right now is quite broad and ever-broadening.

Jump, Baby, Jump!!

As you know, I've been looking for ways to change my workout routine to make it more challenging.  I got a aerobic step bench on Freecycle and I've been rocking it.  I find it to be a lot of fun (i.e. learning the routines) and I really work up a sweat and get my heart going.

I was thinking to myself, "What else could I add to the mix?" and it hit me:  jumping rope.  I have a beaded jumprope that I've had since I was about 12 years old.  It's an excellent quality rope and I already have it--no money spent.  I googled jump rope exercise and discovered that they have a jump rope workout on DVD (of course--why was I surprised?).  Also turns out that it happens to be right there at my local library.  So I picked it up.  It's called RopeSport and the one I got is the Basic Video.  Now the little 15 minute introductory workout on this DVD is really a joke.  It's more stretching and breathing than really working out.  What's truly valuable about this DVD, though, is that it teaches you techniques and various jump styles as well as discusses the proper length of the rope and how you should be holding it to get the maximum benefit.   So what I did this morning instead of following the DVD was to do 30 second intervals alternating between jumping and resting.  I was trying all the different styles of jumping and learning that some are more intense/more complex than others.  One instructor on the DVD claims you can get the same benefit without a rope.  That's simply not true.  You really have to make more an effort to clear a rope.  I found that if I got tired (towards the end of 30 second interval), I would just clear the rope or not clear it at all and so I had to put that much more energy into it.  I'm hoping to work my way up to 3-4 minutes continuous jumping.  Overall, it was a fun workout I'm going to stick with.  A plus is that I felt very comfortable doing my own thing without any instruction--maybe because I jumped so much rope as a child.  It just felt natural.

So I've got my step and my jumprope.  The hubby also has this AirClimber thing I was clowning him about because it makes so much wheezing noise. But I think I may give that a try too.  The most important thing right now, I think, is to get a heart rate monitor so that whatever I'm doing, I know that I'm on point.

I still want to get P90X but I keep thinking about the money, money, money but P90X wil probably be my next step once I master step aerobics, jumping rope and air climbing.  :) All that combined with Weight Watchers, i.e. re-figuring how I eat should help me reach my 2010 fitness goals, which I will be posting  on my sidebar soon.

May their ways be lighted . . .

I was driving home today and stopped at a stop sign.  I noticed a woman walking with her two daughters (or at least I assume they were hers). Lately, since I know I probably won't be having any daughters of my own, moms with girl children do make more of an impression on me and I have a soft spot for girls. Don't get me wrong . . . the more I think about it, the more I think I was supposed to have boys and there are some parts of having sons that are really just priceless. Anyway . . . I thought they looked sweet all walking together (the girls had matching coats).  The girls had to be about 8 and 5.

So by the time I cleared the stop sign, parked and collected my things to go into the house, the mom and her two girls were close by.  I climbed my front steps, expecting to catch one more delightful glimpse of the three and the next thing I knew, I saw this mother shove the oldest girl.  Hard.  So hard she stumbled.

And the next part I don't even want to tell.  Because if these girls are being treated like this in the street, I shudder to think what happens at home.

She says to this girl child, "You fucking idiot.  I swear to God you do that shit again I will  punch you in your fucking face.  Both of you fucking idiots!"

I don't know what this little girl did but there is simply nothing that could have warranted this kind of reaction from her mother.  No amount of annoying or disobedient behavior could have warranted that kind of violation of that girl's personhood.  Especially since she had no way of defending herself.

Oh, I was on the verge of saying something.  It was all just so inappropriate and uncalled for but I quickly remembered that I had just parked and I was in front of my house.  The last thing I want or need is beef with the hood element in this town.  So I didn't speak up for those two little girls.

I feel a bit guilty about it and every time I close my eyes, I imagine all kinds of horrors happening to those two beautiful, Black girls.  I think of that movie Precious and my eyes start to sting a little bit.  It was so saddening, ya'll.  I mean, I've seen it before in this town but often it's directed towards Black boys.  I'm not saying that boys are more capable of handling it but it never made such a painful impression on me.  I keep thinking about how damaged their self-esteem will be and all the sad and costly repercussions low self-esteem has on girls.  (((Sigh))).  Maybe it's because my moon time is soon coming that I'm so sensitive . . .

When you pray or meditate next, would you please hold these girls in your thoughts?  I surely will be doing that tonight.  I'll be wrapping them in love and lighting a candle in hopes that their ways will be lighted.

Photo Credit:  "In Memory of Keks" by co L on Flickr.com

The Dirty on Dirty Cloth Diaper Storage

Typically, when folks think of what to do with dirty diapers, if they want something fancy, they turn to a diaper genie.  It contains the smell like a charm.  If they want something basic, they just toss it in the trash, maybe wrapping it in a plastic bag to contain the smell.

So when I first stepped into the world of cloth diapering, this was one of my biggest questions: how do we store the diapers until washday?  We needed something that would do a good job containing the smell so we knew it had to have a tight lid.  It needed to be big enough to hold a good amount of dirty diapers.  It needed to be kind of small so it could fit in the bathroom since we quickly learned the storing dirty diapers in the bedroom was a stinky idea.  We went through a bunch of different containers, mainly different styles of garbage cans and while some of what we tried were serviceable, none were perfect.

And then while in Target one day looking for a new garbage can, one that would actually be used for garbage, I came across this:  Home Logic Pet Food container.  It was no where near the garbage cans since it is marketed as a "pet food container" complete with a scoop.    But this thing is perfect for the diapers.  It snaps tightly shut and even though it's large enough to hold a lot of diapers, it's small enough to fit in a small area.  And as a plus, I can open it with one hand.  It's perfect.

So there's my recommendation for how to store dirty diapers.

Children are People. Just little.

It's true.  Children are indeed people, albeit little people.  It's so easy to forget that especially since in many cultures, children are not considered.  You don't become a real person until some arbitrary age (18 in our society).

Something happened today that drove this message all the way home in my heart and in my mind.

We were practicing our reading (using our Hooked on Phonics program) and Z1 was weepy and upset.  It was like he was totally frustrated for some reason.  As if we'd been going at it for hours and making no progress. I was getting annoyed because I was feeling like his crying was pointless.   I said all right and made moves to put he program away--he clearly wasn't ready to do the work.  It made him cry even more.  So, we try to continue on with the work and he cries even more.  I put away the work and now he's bawling.  Nice.

But then I thought back to this wonderful and highly recommended book that I'm working through called Connection Parenting by Pam Leo.  I suddenly realized that his tears really did not have much to do with the reading.  I mean, a small frustration with one word had touched off something else--something that needed to be released.

So I put the book away and instead of asking him to go to his room and collect himself like I would usually do, I asked him to sit next to me on the couch.  I asked him what was wrong.  And do you know what he said?  "I miss my Daddy."  I was blown away and saddened too.  There are times when I miss someone but I'm an adult and I know what to do to make myself feel better.  Bake.  Knit.  Write.  Call.  He's little so what can he do?  The only thing he really can:  cry.

So I empathized with him and offered some solutions that might make him feel better.  Did he want to call his dad?  No.  Did he want to make a card for his dad?  He brightened up and enthusiastically said yes and could it have a race car on it.  Great!

So me not being all that crafty got on the computer and found this handy dandy custom greeting card maker.  After looking through all the options, he decided he wanted a motorcycle instead of a race car.  He dictated to me what he wanted the card to say, we customized it and then printed it.  He cut it out (scissor practice which is always good) and then taped it to the computer for his dad to see when he comes back from work.

Oh, it made him feel so much better.  He was smiling and happy and ready to do his handwriting.  And I can't even believe how wonderfully he is forming his numbers in this positive frame of mind.

This book Connection Parenting is totally transforming how I approach this whole parenting thing.  It is an answer to prayers.  It is helping me really see my children as legitimate people not half-people or beings on their way to becoming people.  They feel real emotions as strongly as we do and we should never discount or belittle their feelings.   Children are people.  Just little.

Joining Weight Watchers

For my birthday.

Have you done it?  What's your experience?  Do you go to meetings or just do it online?

I am thinking I'll just do it online because I don't really feel like I need any support to keep with the program.  Also, I just don't need one more thing to try to squeeze in but I think it might be good to go to meetings just so to hear what others think or have done and maybe to point out things I'm not doing the right way.  I don't know.

I'm excited about it though!

Change is . . .

Fun.  Well, sometimes.

I'm not the biggest fan of change.  In fact, most of the time, I like things to be steady, predictable and constant.  I don't find it easy to roll with the punches, hate to travel (rather would just get there already) and generally, I take great pains to prepare for any change.

So it's very interesting that when it comes to certain things, I'm all about change.  Like my computer desktop.  I have to change the picture at least once a week.  My screensaver?  At least once a month.  My Gmail theme?  I may change that 2 or 3 times daily!  My blog layout? Well, if you read this blog, you know I change it pretty often (although, I have to say, I'm *quite* pleased with the current design).

And then there's my hair . . .

I've been wearing a lowboy for a while now.  I'm lucky because the style actually does compliment my round face.  Any longer, even just a teeny weeny afro, and I don't think it really does my face justice.  I've come to realize that styles that don't frame my face such as a lowboy, cornrows or a pulled back ponytail/puff really do look best on me.  I've also realized that square eyeglass frames work best for a round face too.  Generally, what works best are styles that don't add to the roundness of my face.

Wearing my hair this way is the most practical style for me.  It allows me lots of access to my scalp so I can easily treat it when it flares up.  It's super low maintenance.  The hubby shapes me up every two weeks (or so)--free of cost.  In the morning, I may or may not brush it because it's so low that it doesn't really matter.  I mainly brush to stimulate my scalp or because it feels good to rake the bristles over my itchy scalp.  I wash it every 2 to 3 days with Head and Shoulders (or T-Gel if I'm having a particularly nasty flare up), oil it with jojoba oil to which I added tea tree oil.  That's the full extent of my style maintenance routine.  It's so basic, I wonder if it can even really be called a style especially since (even though I gave it a noble try) I am nowhere near consistent with wearing larger (read:  largely more entangling and largely more likely to get painfully pulled) earrings or make-up (allergies, i.e. itchy, watery eyes and mascara/eyebrow pencil/eye shadow are mortal enemies; one kiss of a kid's boo-boo and I can kiss my lip gloss goodbye and since I usually forget it at home or it slips down to the bottom of the diaper bag, it's really just a funny situation).

But recently I started to feel the itch . . . I want to see something else when I look in the mirror yet practically speaking, it's just not realistic.  I could grow it out but just thinking about the cost of getting it cornrowed makes me shudder.  I could work on really getting some length so I could do pulled back styles but eh, I don't have the time or patience to fuss that much.

Thought about a wig but with the scalp issues, that might be a bad, bad look.   Should I color it?  Any natural, quality hair colors out there?  And what color?  I have never, ever colored my hair but since I do have a bit of gray hair with more popping up every day, I had started to contemplate whether I would color it or not.

So any ideas?  What can you do with a lowboy to "freshen" it up?

Image courtesy of http://www.usmansheikh.com/success-factors/i-dont-want-to-change

One Good Thing about the Cold Weather . . .

 . . . Is that when I have a whole list of errands to run, I don't have to put the most tedious of the errands, grocery shopping, at the bottom of the list.  I can do it first because it's just as cold outside as it is in my refrigerator/freezer.

What is it about grocery shopping with two kids in tow that is so stressful?  I guess it's because I need to think.  And the non-stop chatter/reaching out and grabbing things/asking for everything they see is just not conducive to smooth mental functioning.  But at least when it's winter, I can get it out of the way first, when I have the most energy and patience.

Hey, you gotta find something good about winter because scraping ice off your windshield ain't it.   :)

Photo Credit:  "It's Cold!!" by Mr. T in DC on Flickr

Finally . . . Emma's sweater!

Remember Emma's Sweater that I started last year?  Well, it's finally, finally, finally done.  And I am too through.  I am so incredibly happy that this project is finished.  It took me forever and I swear to never undertake a project like this again.  It was too much of the same stitch (stockinette) in a yarn that I wasn't fond of.  I really hate 100% cotton for knitting because the stitch comes out so unevenly (cotton doesn't give).  But I was determined to finish before the year was out and I'm happy to say that I did.

So without further ado . . .

That last picture is Z1 modeling it.  As you can see, it turned out huge (this is the largest size-supposedly for a four year old).  One of these days, I will knit swatches and check gauge instead of diving into projects head first.

I'm not sure what I'm going to do with the sweater.  It's not my best work and we no longer see the little girl I made it for.  I have a book of her mother's though . . . should I try to reach out just one more time?  Return the book and gift the sweater?  Perhaps I will.  I probably would without a doubt if I were more satisfied with the workmanship.

Anyway, I have two projects that I'm looking forward to starting:  the Clapotis for a good friend of mine with a birthday soon approaching and the Sideways Grande Cloche (both are Ravelry links).  I already have the yarn for the Clapotis.  The yarn for the hat is KnitPicks Cadena in the Cranberry colorway and even with shipping and handling it will cost less that $15 (which is way less than the recommended yarn would have cost--way, way, way less).

I'm so excited about starting something new that I (almost) forgot that I have one more sock to finish. I'm so excited I can't even really get into my latest Octavia Butler book (I just finished Wild Seed which was sumptuous and I completely loved). So, hopefully, there'll be some beautiful FOs soon.  But don't hold your breath!

The Second Time's a Charm

I'd asked for an aerobic step bench on Freecycle before but no one responded. I figured what could be the harm in asking again and this time, I received.  It seems like the second time is a charm.  Yes, I would have to drive about 30 minutes to get it but I was going to be going up north anyway.  It's not that I would have been closer to the pick-up spot but at least I would already be in motion. I called the Freecycler to arrange and what do you know?  She works in the town that neighbors mine! So I had a ridiculously easy and quick pick up and I'm now in possession of a step bench.

I have this tape that I bought at the library for $1 eons ago called Fat Burning  Breakthrough by Kathy Smith. I didn't realize it needed a step bench when I bought it so the tape had just been sitting there. So now that I finally had a step bench, I was eager to give it a try. And I was surprised to find out that I really liked it. It was a challenging and balanced workout although I think the challenge came mostly from trying to master the choreography. Kathy Smith could have done a better job of cuing but  the routine is not over-the-top complex.  I think once I'm comfortable with the steps, I can really ramp up the intensity on this workout. It was a pretty long and comprehensive workout--lots of cardio with strength and flexibility thrown in.  More than all of that, it was fun and very different from the style of my other workout DVDs.  It's a little annoying that it's on tape because I have to use the television as opposed to the computer.  Our computer is positioned in our living room in such a way that it's more conducive to working out.

In any case, it's something really good to add to the mix while I try to figure out what I'm going to do next exercise wise.  I'm going to check at the library for other workouts that use a step.

They've taken me as far as they can . . .

Yeah, it's true:  I've plateaued when it comes to my workout DVDs.  I currently have only one that really challenges me (Women's Health Train for Your Body Type) and even at that, the cardio is too short (only 22 minutes).  This is quite exciting to me because it means that I am in much better shape than I was when I started consistently working out in January.  It's not so exciting because now I have to think of what to do next.

I'm determined to get into the best shape of my life which means I need more intense cardio exercise for longer periods of time.  I've thought about the gym but I personally can't stand to be on a treadmill or an elliptical for more than 20-25 minutes although I know I should be pushing cardio to almost an hour.  It would be great to take classes but the gyms I can afford don't offer that many options.  And to be honest I enjoy working out at home.  [When I strike it rich, my home will have an exercise room (and a crafting room).]

So I'm back to looking at DVDs again . . . but I know they will have to be very different from what I'm doing now.  With the ones I have now, half the time, I don't even break a sweat!  The hubby says it's really up to me to push up the intensity of the DVDs I currently have--to use them only as a rough guide because really only I know my body.  But at the same time, I want a real guide and if I had it, I know I would have already hired a personal trainer.  I don't want to think too too hard because I really have a lot of other things I'm thinking about.  I just want an effective workout already laid out for me.  I want to get in there, work hard,  sweat a lot, and lose the weight.

I've heard about P90X, Chaelean Extreme, and TurboJam and all the other Beachbody products but I just don't know!  I thought about the TransFirmer System too . . . something different from what I'm doing now (since it uses a step) but previewing the workouts, I don't think they are anywhere near as intense as I need--especially since some are only about 30 minutes long.

My sister says there's only so much you can do with DVDs at home.  I wonder if she's right.  Will getting in the best shape of my life require a gym membership?

I am actually thinking about hitting the pavement and running.  I've always wanted to be able to run miles.  But I kind of know my body is not built for it . . . it's really difficult for me to run for long distance.  But maybe I can train myself?  And it's winter . . . will I really be down for running in winter?  I know once you start you warm up but brrrrrrrrr . . .

Have you any experience with any of the Beachbody products?  Care to share?

Bananas and Blueberries . . . a winning combination!

I have a large bag of frozen blueberries sitting in my freezer leftover from summer smoothie making. In the winter, I just can't drink anything cold.

On Sundays we usually have pancakes for breakfast and since I had a whole bunch of very ripe bananas, I decided to try a banana blueberry pancake, which I've never had before. Z1 loves banana chocolate chip so I just made up the batter for pancakes* (adding two mashed bananas). For half of the pancakes, I used chocolate chips and for the other half I used blueberries. (I don't mix the add-ons into the batter--I just drop them onto the uncooked side of the pancake while it's cooking. I got this tip from Alton Brown and I have to say, this works out a whole lot better.)

Well, it turns out that I really like the banana blueberry combination so yesterday, I decided to do the same combo in a muffin. Weeks ago I found the best banana chocolate chip muffin recipe I have tried so far. It's super moist and delicious and all that. I've substituted nuts for the chocolate chips and so yesterday I thought, "Why not try blueberries?" I did and it was really good. Even Z1 who's not a fan of blueberries was gobbling them up.

I had wanted to raise a berry bush in the back last year and didn't get around to doing it. This coming year, though, I think it would be a great idea. I really liked these muffins and we use lots of blueberries for smoothies and stuff. Supposedly, berries are pretty straightforward to grow so I'm kind of excited to try.

*I have since decided that the recipe does indeed need 1/4 cup of extra liquid which is what the original recipe calls for. So the recipe I am using looks like this:

Pancakes Like Mom Used to Make (Except Vegan)
2 cups unbleached all purpose flour
1/2 tsp sea salt
1 1/2 tsp aluminum free baking powder
1/2 tsp baking soda
1/2 tsp cinnamon
1/4 tsp nutmeg
1 tbsp sugar
1/4 cup vegetable oil (or other flavorless oil)
1 1/2 cups soy milk
1/4 cup water
1 tsp. apple cider vinegar
1 tsp. vanilla extract

Put your oven on "keep warm".

In a large bowl, sift all the dry ingredients together. In another bowl, mix the wet ingredients. Add the dry to the wet and stir until everything is well combined and all the lumps are gone.

Oil your griddle or pan lightly with some flavorless oil. Pour 1/3 cup batter onto skillet and cook until bubbles start to form on the top or until the bottom side of pancake is as brown as you'd like. Flip and cook the other side.

Makes 8 pancakes.

Holding your breath?

It's very plain to see (or at least I think it is) that right now people are hurting financially. The cost of things are going up when people are losing their jobs.  I can't say how grateful I am that the hubby has a (pretty) secure job in healthcare (though I don't have any illusions) and I can't even imagine the fortune I have had so that I was able to land a Saturday gig.

When I started the Saturday job, which is at a learning center, I thought to myself that this would be a great way to keep myself in the job market at least somewhat so that when I'm ready to return to work or go back to school for my doctorate, there's no huge gap in my resume.

But what I notice whenever I start to think of the future is that somewhere deep inside I hold back.  Of course, no one can predict what the future will be.  No one really knows what things will look like a few years from now.  But it can't be only me wondering when the shit is going to hit the fan.  Right now, it seems like so many folks are intensely invested in maintaining the status quo.  Business as usual--with a few very slight modifications to take into account the fact that their money is kind of funny right now.  But you'd have to be seriously delusional to not notice that it is most decidedly not business as usual.  The world is changing in ways we've never seen before.  They are calling this depression (which folks want to still misleadingly call a recession) the Greater Depression.  It will get a whole lot worse before it begins to get better.  And when it gets better, things will be a whole lot different.  Will Ph.Ds be relevant then?  What will a teacher's job look like?  How exactly do you plan when you don't know what you're planning for?

I don't spend money frivolously at all.  I weigh every penny I spend and struggle to stay within my budget.  I think to myself though that this may be the last time for a long time that I'll be able to get those silver earrings I've been looking at, those workout DVDs I've been wanting, so maybe I should just go on and get them.  Then I think to myself . . . in  a few years, will these things even be relevant?  Will I lose weight because I am not eating preferring to give the expensive food to the children while I survive on nuts, raisins, and topinambur (which was about the only thing we were able to grow in abundance this year)? Will I be looking to sell off my silver and gold to facilitate getting the hell out of dodge?

Is that kind of thinking pessimistic?  Or realistic?  And in my day to day dealings, should I be thinking about these things?  How do you go about in life not thinking about them?  How do you pretend that everything is exactly as it's always been (all this talk of recession is really just a hiccup right?  We'll be back in a minute!) when clearly, it's not.

You've read the articles about the "alarming" number of folks needing food stamps now.  What about when the government can't afford to subsidize the food stamp program?  You've heard of the folks who used to donate to food banks who are now accepting donations.  What about when the food banks can't afford to do what they do anymore?

So, yeah, I find myself holding my breath unconsciously sometimes.  You know, you plan your life out and dream about all the things you'd like to see happen.  But you don't hold on to those plans too tightly.  You let those dreams be fluid and loose and start to focus on the most basic of things that could keep you happy.  And alive.  You start to think about ways in which you can become more resilient and more versatile and more adaptable.

I think about my children and wonder about the kind of world they live in.  I just hope they can have childhoods, i.e. that the shit hits the fan after they are grown or something.  I know that's kind of selfish since there are other children coming up after them.  (And why the hell do I still want more kids if I know the condition of the world?)

The taxes where we live are too high and will get higher yet moving in this market is really not a possibility.  Like many folks out there, we'd have to sell to buy and quite frankly, ain't no one buying.  So we just go on paying our mortgage that has us by the gonads.  We are currently breaking even at the end of month even with strict budgets and accounting for every penny spent.  Yet, the list of things we need/want grows steadily--and we as parents struggle to do without, trying to give the kids a sense of abundance while cluing them in to the reality that for us and for many others, money is not growing on any trees.  So I'm determined to sock the money I make at this Saturday job away--tenaciously.  I know how easy it is once you're making money to spend money especially with kids, especially trying to give them all the things I didn't have as a child--like Christmas trees and such.  But my focus now is really and truly saving a good chunk of money while striking that delicate balance.  While avoiding feeling like I'm depriving my children and my self.  Having cash money can serve as good cushion to absorb whatever shocks we may be about to experience.

It strikes, me that this is also a good time to get my spiritual life in order too.  Again, shock absorption. Sure, I've been searching for my path but I am more motivated to focus on finding where I'm supposed to so that I'm there if or when the "just in case" situations happen.  So that I am there when the time comes to exhale.  And figure out what to do next.