Monday, June 28, 2010

I attended . . .

A baby shower yesterday.  This shower caused me a fair amount of stress for a number of reasons.  Firstly, there was a dress requirement: everyone was supposed to wear white.  I, of course, did not have a white dress.  Luckily, I was able to get one at the thrift store for a few bucks and I liked the dress well enough.  Secondly, there was a specific request for diapers and/or wipes.  I had bought the yarn to make a blanket for the guest of honor way before I ever received the invitation so I was kind of in a tough place deciding should I still go ahead with the blanket or just get the diapers.  I decided to finish making the blanket.  I'm not sure how it will be received.  The shower was to be held at a restaurant and I was unsure about how the bill would be handled and all--and the restaurant was a gourmet kind of place.  Me, being, the picky eater that I am, did not want to be in a position where I had to pay $20+ for food that I wouldn't like.  Turns out the food was already paid for (a BBQ bonanza but I just got a plate of pasta) And then I just had a lot of anxiety about going to a function where the only person I would know was the guest of honor.  Most of my anxiety was self-imposed and I ended up having a nice time after all.

Anyway, I debated bringing a book with me to the event.  Black folks usually don't start anything on time (not being stereotypical--in fact, I was there on time and I am Black . . . generally speaking though) and I was sure that I'd be sitting and waiting for a while.  I decided against bringing the book since I thought it would be in poor taste and folks would probably think I was being anti-social.  Turns out that the guest of honor, in true diva style, was 2.5 hours late.  During the first hour of waiting, there was not much conversation going on.  I really wished I had my book but was happy that I left it at home because I wanted to appear open to socializing.  I'm not the most talkative person but I tried to strike up a conversation with the lady sitting next to me.  I didn't have much success though.

But I noticed something interesting in that hour:  folks had their eyes glued to the mobile devices.  It felt more acceptable and different than if folks had their eyes glued to a book.  Checking e-mail, Facebook and Twitter on the phone, I guess, is a way of connecting--not to the people who are sitting next to you but to the WORLD.  Reading a book, on the other hand, secludes you in a way.  Encloses you in a world to which no one else is privy.  I guess that's why it seems rude to read at a party but not rude to be cozied up to a phone. 

I have to admit:  I wished I had a funky fresh phone so I could have been busy and absorbed too.  Instead, I just kind of kept looking around, looking at my plate and feeling bored while I waited.  And waited.  Luckily, after about an hour or so, we had some more talkative guests (and some more liquor) join the table.  Folks opened up and the conversation was very pleasant. 

I did have a little bit of insecurity because people talked extensively about their careers (many successful/multi-talented women at the table).  I kind of hoped no one would ask me what I did.  I'm sure they didn't want to hear my answer: I clean poop mostly and chauffeur kids to activities that they swear they don't want to go to and then pitch a fit when it's time to leave.  LoL. 

(((sigh))) Today, Z2 decided to remove the liner of his diaper while in the kitchen and drop glops of poop all over the place.  It was seriously gross.  And had me seriously questioning my sanity in choosing to be a stay-at-home mom. 

This shower was like an anthropological study and I was so happy I went.

Photo Credit: "Blackberry" by joodi on


Serenity Love Sincere Peace Earth said...

Why did you have to wear white?

I always bring a magazine with me. a book does seem anti social, but not a magazine.

I hate the way these gifting parties go now a days. The last shower I went to, I made a quilt. Took me 6 weeks to complete I even told the mother my plans so she could choose her colors. Less than a week before the shower, the quilt was all finished, the mother told me that she had enough blankets. SMH. I didn't even get a thank you card for the gift I did bring.

Another shower I attended was just a show of the parents about how much money they have. The parents planned it themselves and it was completely political. I have never even met the child and he's 3 now. Yeah I feel like a real friend.

I have decided that when my time comes, I will not encourage people to give me anything!

This is a different world we live in....

navelgazingbajan said...

I was wondering the other day if you'd enjoyed going to the shower. I'm glad it turned out better than you had expected. Although, was the expectant mom also the host and not just the guest of honor? Because CPT or not, it's pretty rude for the host to leave guests to fend for themselves for 2.5 hours.

liberationtheory said...

i was wondering how this turned out for you. did you ever find out what was the point behind the white?

i'm sad to admit that i totally would have been one of the ones on their phone.. i know, i know.

i'm glad that ended up having a decent time!

Blackgirlinmaine said...

I am glad that you went and that it was better than expected though the guest of honor being 2.5 hrs late was just wrong. But I know how we can be. ;-)

I have a decent phone but still find it strange that folks cannot not bother to talk to the people around them. I had gotten the phone habit bad for a minute and have been working to break it. Whatever happened to just talking?

The Original Wombman said...

SLSPE . . . I don't know why we had to wear white. It was so different than anything I've ever had to attend. And you know, you're right about the magazine! I will have to remember that for the future. I did not have a shower for my second . . . just didn't want the attention and fanfare.

NGBJ, thanks! LT, there was no point aside from aesthetics as far as could see. There wasn't a group picture or anything! And to be totally honest, if I had a more advanced phone, I would have been on it too!!

The Original Wombman said...

BGIM, I don't know what happened to just talking . . . it's a total different world out here! When I say simple courteous things like Good Morning, folks seem surprised. ((shrug))

Anonymous said...

I would've been gone after 30 minutes late...that seems rude to me...2 and 1/2 excuse except an emergency and if so you should've been told. Interesting the wearing white thing. I would've thought a handmade quilt would have been appreciated, that takes a lot of time. I loved how your blanket turned out. Some people just weren't raised right , I suppose. B.

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