Monday, June 9, 2008

An old friend got married today

Actually, he was my first boyfriend, a really good guy and I'm just so happy for him and his new (beautiful, I must say) wife.

The wedding ceremony was very lovely in it's simplicity. It was quick and to the point but I loved it. It also made me sad and a little teary eyed. I guess I didn't realize just how much I would have loved to have a formal wedding. Yeah, the court house thing was cool and beautiful, in a "I love you so much I just have to be with you for real right now" kind of way but I feel cheated. It felt cheap--a bargain basement, clearance sale, everything-must-go wedding. We had always planned on doing a 10-year vow renewal ceremony but I don't feel like it anymore. I don't think there's any way to re-capture all that about-to-be newlywed energy. That energy is dewy fresh and full of hope at the possibility of what could be and it overflows with romance and passion. What me and the hubby have got going now is warm and comfortable and syrupy sweet but the energy is not so energetic. It's just real. We've got kids, for goodness sake and we usually pass out from exhaustion at the end of the day. We squeeze out moments to have time to ourselves and often don't get it. The 10-year vow renewal would be nice but it just wouldn't be the same. It's just not the same.

I guess you could say I made my bed so now I must lay in it. I say at the time I thought I wanted my bed made with flannel sheets. Now I realize I wouldn't have minded an upgrade to satin. :p


80sBaby70sSoul said...

Awww...I know what you mean girl. Everytime I go to a wedding I feel the same way! I also realze that we, nor either of our families, actually had the money to pull off the kind of shindig that I would have wanted. Hell, they eeked out 5Gs for my reception and there was much to be desired even in that. My ONLY saving grace is knowing that I will have a renewal of vows ceremony and reception and it will be just like a wedding except we will already have proven that we can "make it" and we have LOTS to celebrate (house, careers, family, etc). Yes, all the dewy freshness will be gone but, honestly, when in the hell do you ever celebrate something in the beginning? That's why weddings always confused me. 'Cause 10-15 years down the line, are most people still celebrating?

Kay C, The Quiet Storm said...

Hello Chi-Chi,

I must say as someone who had the traditional wedding and reception the you can capture the moment in a 10 year vow renewal. I had the wedding but did not make it to the 10 year point (as a lot of people do not).

Do not cheat yourself out of celebrating a major milestone that most people would love to have (myself included). It may not be the "newly married" feeling, but you will have your own feeling that includes the syrupy sweet love you spoke about.

If I had the chance I would celebrate a 10-year anniversary with a nice ceremony in a fabulous dress with the person I share my life with surrounded by close friends and family. And they would be honored to share in that love with me.

Think about may be worth it after all.

Trudie said...

Hey Chich,

I agree with Kay C. Good advice. Don't cheat yourself. If you make it that long, it is something to celebrate.

Chi-Chi said...

You all are absolutely right. Marriage is hard work. 10 years is really something to celebrate. In a big way.

tricey said...

I definitly agree with you and the other comments!! I would have done things differently as well. But one thing's for sure...It's not too late to upgrade to satin sheets!! Celebrate those 10 years of bliss.

I am the sum of my parts said...

Hey Chi-Chi, 10 years is definitely something to celebrate. My feeling is that every year of marriage that we make it through is cause for celebration. We work hard everyday to make a life together. For some, like us, this includes children.

Maybe the dewy fresh is gone but there's no denying that there's something better. Not only do you have the future to look forward to, you have memories of success on which to reflect. You can renew that energy with new hopes and possibilities. This makes the celebration oh so sweet!

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