Monday, August 3, 2009

I hope it's just hormones

For the last few days, I've been feeling so intensely that I want another child. The hubby, though, is quite happy with what we've got and doesn't feel any need at all to add another to the bunch. I don't know . . . I feel like our family is square right now (not that a square isn't a great shape) but maybe one would make it more round.

Speaking practically, however, I know it really wouldn't be a good move. Unless I could get a really good car seat configuration going on (which, if you research an '05 Subaru Outback seems damn near impossible), we'd need a bigger car. We'd need a bigger house unless we all just want to cram in here. All of this requires more money which would mean I'd need to find employment that brings in significant income (and in this economy would that even be possible?). But then that would mean I couldn't be a stay-at-home mom. What an interesting situation! With two kids, lots of budgeting and thriftiness, I can continue to stay-at-home. With three kids, no amount of budgeting and thriftiness would offset the added expense so I'd have to go to work. What's more desirable in the long run? Another child or staying at home with the ones I have?

Also, I have my hands pretty full and no real help from anyone besides the hubby. I'm doing a juggling act with the two I have. Is it really wise to be looking to add one more?

And I know in my heart that I really want a girl. If it ends up being a boy, how will I feel? It's just not fair to the new baby boy.

Anyway, I hope it's just the hormones making me feel this way and await the end of this moon cycle kind of, sort of hoping I don't see Aunt Flo this month.


Shay said...

If I can add a light hearted touch, I will say that girls are way more costly than boys. LOL I loved my son but something about girls is special in a hard to describe girl is truly a mini-me in a way that my boy is not and never will be.

That said, girls can work your me puts her hands on her hips like me. It cracks me. Then while I always kept my son sharp, having a girl makes me buy all manner of dresses.

As we used to say back in the day, I can go out looking raggedy like a fila but girl child must be right.

So yeah a third child might be a budget breaker but if she is a girl she will definitely break the budget.

Seriously follow your heart though and don't make a rash decision.

Chi-Chi, The Original Wombman said...

Thanks Shay for that dose of realism!! LoL . . . Why do I want a girl anyway? I think I'm looking to create the mother/daughter relationship I never had. But if I'm too stressed, that wouldn't be possible anyway. What's the best thing, in your opinion, about having a girl vs. a boy?? Or having both a boy and a girl?

Anonymous said...

hmmm..I think I have come to the realization that I do not want anymore children and need more me time. Maybe Im just selfish. I want nice stuff and I want to keep my things nice. I want to travel. I think if you really want a girl, opportunities can open up to make it a pleasant experience for all.

Shay said...

Having a girl does bring up issues around the mother-daughter relationship. I was blessed that my Mom and I were best friends until her death, trusting me with so much....I hope that my girl and I will have a similiar relationship but know it may not happen.

Now that elder by is a 17 yo HS senior who is driving and applying to colleges, I am struck with the fact that I feel with boys they will fly away at some point. I seen it with my brother and I suspect it will happen with my son. Yet with girls there is and energy that keeps them grounded to Mama in some way.

My son is my pride and joy, they really both are but its not equal. From the moment, my girl was born, there was a connection that I can only describe as similiar to my Mom and I. When my Mom died, at the exact time she died, I literally felt it....

My Dad called and gave me the news but I knew she had left this world even before he spoke the words. That same connection of feeling exist between my girl and I...though I have that connection with my son (I feel when all is not right him) but its not the same as the girl-mom connection.

I hope I don't sound too woo-woo.

Miriam said...

Aw!!! I know the feeling!!

I used to want a bajillion babies. Babies crawling out of my ears. lol!

But w/c-sections over and over again. My enthusiasm got greatly reduced.

Chi-Chi, The Original Wombman said...

Miriam, yeah, I always thought I'd like to have a whole bunch or kids but reality often dictates a different scenario. (((sigh)))

Raet, sometimes I think I'm done because I would like to focus on myself and travel and do all the things that children make it difficult to do. But I'm conflicted too because I realize that the time when they're so needy and dependent is short in the grand scheme of things. Relatively speaking. Who knows??

Shay, no you don't sound woo-woo at all. Actually, you make complete sense and really capture what I'm thinking/feeling about having a daughter.

Then there's adoption . . .

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