Very rarely am I a part of the morning rush hour but today was an exception. I needed to run out and pick up some groceries and I wanted to do it while the hubby was still home. That meant that I had to leave by 8:00AM and be back by 8:30 the latest. So off I went into the frigid cold. I picked up the groceries and on the way home, there was a bit of a traffic jam. A traffic signal was broken and was staying red indefinitely. As I sat there, I thought to myself that I kind of miss the morning hustle and bustle. The morning energy. Everyone experiencing the freshness and optimism of a new day. You know, the rhythm of it. The purposefulness of getting up, getting dressed, heading out the house to go do a job that has a broader effect than on just one's family. Having a job that pays; a job that has a title. I kind of miss just being me for a portion of the day. Not Z1 or Z2's mom.
I don't miss the stress, though. And it was a lot of stress. But there's a lot of stress as a stay-at-home mom too. Minus the social interaction. Which sometimes makes it difficult for me to decide which stress is less intense. I think, sometimes, that at least the stress of working yielded a pay check and some recognition from time to time.
I'm not planning to go back to work full-time anytime soon. Being a stay-at-home/homeschooling mom is important to me and I think it's the best fit for my family. And it won't last forever because kids do indeed grow up. But I think how life would be different if I did make a switch. I'm not always totally sure it wouldn't be good.