Yesterday I was listening The 4 Keys to Magnetic Influence, an episode of one of my favorite podcasts (Underground Wellness). While I don't know if I agree with all four keys, Key #2 struck me: connection, i.e. what makes people feel connected to you. One very important connector is your story. People feel connected to you when you honestly and openly share your story. Even the parts that don't make you look good. It makes you realer. It makes you human. But it also sets you apart.
Another important lesson I took away from that podcast, something I knew but needed to be reminded of is that I have something to say and something to offer.
Lately, I've been neglecting this blog. My life is pretty hectic right now and it's often difficult for me to find time to write or to get into the frame of mind to write cohesively. That's a practical reason. But there's another reason too, a bigger reason. The fact is, I have been feeling that I don't have anything worthwhile to talk about here. I have been feeling incredibly inadequate.
Just a quick look on Facebook and you will quickly realize that folks aren't all too keen about sharing the ugly parts of their lives. From the looks of things on there, you'd think that folks were their dazzling higher selves 24/7/365. At this juncture in my life, Facebook is probably the last place I need to be. I have been very disciplined about curtailing my time on there and I'm very pleased with how much it's been helping me to counteract feelings of inadequacy and cultivate feelings of compassion for myself.
I have a lot of my plate. A few challenges. There's Z3 who is only 8 weeks old and who's sleep schedule is still quite erratic. She's got some minor issues that I have to deal with soon too. It's autumn and my allergies pretty much make even basic things take serious effort. (I'm dealing with an allergy attack even as I write this.) I'm wondering if there are more tweaks to my diet I need to make and I'm coming to terms with the fact that I am worn down and don't have the motivation to do change anything else. I'm homeschooling my 7 year old Z1 and re-considering that decision almost daily. I'm wondering whether I should go back to my Saturday job and if not, what to do instead. I'm wondering what to do after the kids are grown and don't need me anymore and don't I need to start setting something up now?
My life isn't glamourous by any stretch of the imagination and I'm dealing with issues that aren't pretty all the time. I'd love to showcase the wonderful homeschool projects I'm doing and the fabulous things I'm making and coming up with but these days, the reality is that I'm just really trying to keep afloat. Just trying to stay somewhere close to my standard (and managing to do so only two-thirds of the time). And hoping that I haven't previously given the impression on this blog that everything in my life is rosy. I believe I've kept it real.
What I realized the other day while listening to that UW podcast is that instead of taking down this blog like I had originally wanted to do, I really want to continue sharing here in the hopes that my unique situation and story will maybe connect to someone, encourage someone, or at least make it so that someone out there will not feel so alone in their own situation.
Who knows if anyone still reads this blog. It's not like I had a huge following at some point. But writing is cathartic for me and so I'm hoping that with all my newly found Facebook free time, I will find the time to write more regularly.