I know it may sound strange but I am shocked by the changes that have happened to my body over the last 2 years as I've been on this fitness/weight loss journey.
I'd always been a very shapely woman--hourglass figure and all that. Now that I've lost all this weight, I have an "athletic" build meaning that my waist and hips measure about the same. I had more of a childbearing figure before I bore children!
The hubby mentioned that it's all about body shaping and that anyone can morph their body: bulk up, slim down, accentuate certain parts. I started to wonder what my body would have looked like had I started to lift heavy weights before I started to lose weight. I know they say that muscle burns fat--but I don't think it would have burned it at quite the rate that following Weight Watchers did. I do think it might have made more of a difference [in my initial weight loss] had I focused more on lifting heavy weights and placed less of an emphasis on cardio. It's funny how I didn't learn about the benefits of weight lifting until I was well into my fitness/weight loss journey. Could I maybe have preserved some of the shapeliness while losing weight? If I put on the weight again and continued to lift heavy weight, what would my body look like? I may never know. It's just one more bump in the road to complete self-acceptance and for me, self-acceptance is truly something I have to work at every minute of every day.
And I think that's an important lesson for folks trying to lose weight/get in shape--especially post-partum mothers. There are all these examples of what you could look like if you follow this or that plan and it's easy to get wrapped up in it all and think, "Hey, that's how I want to look!" In reality, you can never really predict where you'll lose weight (just like you can't foresee where you'll put it on). You can't say for certain that your arms will look like [insert woman with great arms here] or that your calves with be Olympic ready. These are things that are for the most part mediated by genetics. Even though we can't say for certain how we'll look exactly by following a certain exercise regimen or philosphy, I'm fascinated by the fact that we have the ability to change our bodies so dramatically. To me, that speaks to our innate power to create.
And it's right in line with how I feel about the Creator these days. You don't always know what the end result will be but there's this understanding and this hope that no matter which way it goes, it will be good. Or at least that's how I like to think the Creator thinks. Then there's this nagging thought that maybe the Creator is not all that invested. I don't know. And that was a crazy tangent so getting back to the point . . . .
I usually like surprise endings in novels. You don't want a predictable end all the time. For me, though, I would have loved to get back the body that I had pre-kids. I really had no idea that it would be such a drastically different body. In so many ways, it is a entirely new ball game. And surprise endings are par for the course.