Friday, February 20, 2009

If you know me . . .

. . . you know I worry. A lot. Sometimes it borders on anxiety.

I really wish it were summer. Warm outside. Lots of activities so that I could take my boys out and we could be out. Away from the internet and television. Just living life and taking it as it comes. But it's cold as heck outside and try as I might, I keep gravitating towards this darn computer and every time I do, I'm hit with one more warning.

"Get ready!"
"Stockpile 6 months of food"
"Learn how to butcher a cow"
"Learn how to make soap"
"You should have planted your garden eons ago"

I get almost paralyzed because I don't know what to do first or next. I don't think I'm doing enough. Don't know enough. And all this is back-dropped by the fact that no one around seems remotely concerned about any of it. As far as folks are concerned, it's just a bad spell.

I'd be lying if I didn't say I feel like a crazy person all alone on my own crazy island.

Anyway, come Monday I'm making a trip to Costco:
peanut butter
peanuts and other nuts
soy milk
canned tomato products
raisins and dates
vegetable and olive oils
alcohol and hydrogen peroxide as well as any other first aid stuff they have

To Trader Joe's
Rice milk
pastas
tofu
tempeh

I'm still making lists . . .

Purchased some more books too after having made a little money typing last week:
Encyclopedia of Natural Remedies and Readers Digest Back to Basics. Both used and with shipping and handling, less than $15. Can't wait till they come.

Yes, I'm paranoid and worried. Trying to follow through with sensible actions and trying to stay calm and focused. Still wondering how to effectively cope spiritually and mentally . . . I feel like I need some kind of blueprint and plan. It's too easy for me to get into these kind of tizzies.

Still, no one ever said, "Dang it, I wish I hadn't been prepared" so I know that whatever happens, it's not a waste.

Now I'm going to try to stay the heck off the computer.

6 comments:

Raet said...

Hhhmmm, sometimes I wonder if I dont worry enough. I dont have enough food in my house to last a week or two. Not even enough water for a half a week. I worry about crazy stuff, like did I turn the stove off? Candles out, and I get real OCD about it.

Honestly, the only thing that I am religous about is spiritual work. I looked at my bank account the other day and cringed. I dont even look at the receipts after I go to the ATM. BTW, I am not well off.

Are you by any chance a Virgo?

blackgirlinmaine said...

Well you know how I feel, just relax. If we start overthinking this we will drive ourselves crazy. Like you I am waiting for good weather to come because I am online way too much these days.

Chi-Chi, The Original Wombman said...

Raet, I'm on the cusp between sag and cap. I've always been a worrier, honestly. If it's not this, it's that. And I need to always have a plan. A good plan. These don't always have to be set in concrete but they must exist. I'm rarely late to things and tend to be a stickler for the rules. I'm very disciplined in that way. But I find that sometimes, it's not good for me and I am working hard to get more focused on spiritual work although I wonder if that's just not me. Because I've been trying for a while now and sometimes it feels so forced.

Yes, BGIM, overthinking is not the way to go. I think we'll have to start going out despite the cold.

Anonymous said...

I would like to be prepared for everything. I plan to learn how to knit, sew, crochet and garden. I plan to learn as mcuch about herbal healing as possible as well as learning alternative therapies.
I am a massage therapist and I think reiki, meditation and accupressure are good to know. As long as sincere effort is put into spiritual work you will be guided on the what, the when and the how.

Squrrl said...

Man, do I ever hear you on this one! I'm not even a constitutional worrier at all, but it's hard not to worry in the face of what's happening to the world. Actually, I think it's crazy not to worry. You just have to stay functional. For me, that means feeling like I'm always making at least a little progress. In our house, part of the problem is that we're both worried...it's a lot of stress, with my husband always feeling like he's not getting enough done, and me doing the same, worrying that we're running out of time, blah blah blah.

By the way, hello! I randomly linked to your blog from Mothering.commune, and have been going through and enjoying it for a couple days now. Your thoughts are so cogent and articulate, and so much of what you're talking about is also on my mind...it's a pleasure to have someone articulate my own thoughts for me so well, and also to hear your take on things I haven't thought as much about.

Also, have you seen Sharon Astyk's blog (www.sharonastyk.com)? She has a lot of good posts on food storage, how to prepare for/emotionally face the times ahead, etc. From what I've read of yours, I think you'd like it.

Chi-Chi, The Original Wombman said...

^^^Thanks for visiting! I really agree. You just have to stay functional. LoL . . . it's so funny that the problem is that both you and your DH worry. My hubby is not worried at all! So I feel alone in my prep efforts . . . at least he's willing to garden this spring. Thanks for the link to Sharon's blog . . . I subscribed. You're right. Lots of good info!

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