Saturday, December 12, 2009

May their ways be lighted . . .

I was driving home today and stopped at a stop sign.  I noticed a woman walking with her two daughters (or at least I assume they were hers). Lately, since I know I probably won't be having any daughters of my own, moms with girl children do make more of an impression on me and I have a soft spot for girls. Don't get me wrong . . . the more I think about it, the more I think I was supposed to have boys and there are some parts of having sons that are really just priceless. Anyway . . . I thought they looked sweet all walking together (the girls had matching coats).  The girls had to be about 8 and 5.

So by the time I cleared the stop sign, parked and collected my things to go into the house, the mom and her two girls were close by.  I climbed my front steps, expecting to catch one more delightful glimpse of the three and the next thing I knew, I saw this mother shove the oldest girl.  Hard.  So hard she stumbled.

And the next part I don't even want to tell.  Because if these girls are being treated like this in the street, I shudder to think what happens at home.

She says to this girl child, "You fucking idiot.  I swear to God you do that shit again I will  punch you in your fucking face.  Both of you fucking idiots!"

I don't know what this little girl did but there is simply nothing that could have warranted this kind of reaction from her mother.  No amount of annoying or disobedient behavior could have warranted that kind of violation of that girl's personhood.  Especially since she had no way of defending herself.

Oh, I was on the verge of saying something.  It was all just so inappropriate and uncalled for but I quickly remembered that I had just parked and I was in front of my house.  The last thing I want or need is beef with the hood element in this town.  So I didn't speak up for those two little girls.

I feel a bit guilty about it and every time I close my eyes, I imagine all kinds of horrors happening to those two beautiful, Black girls.  I think of that movie Precious and my eyes start to sting a little bit.  It was so saddening, ya'll.  I mean, I've seen it before in this town but often it's directed towards Black boys.  I'm not saying that boys are more capable of handling it but it never made such a painful impression on me.  I keep thinking about how damaged their self-esteem will be and all the sad and costly repercussions low self-esteem has on girls.  (((Sigh))).  Maybe it's because my moon time is soon coming that I'm so sensitive . . .

When you pray or meditate next, would you please hold these girls in your thoughts?  I surely will be doing that tonight.  I'll be wrapping them in love and lighting a candle in hopes that their ways will be lighted.

Photo Credit:  "In Memory of Keks" by co L on Flickr.com

6 comments:

blackgirlinmaine said...

Oh no.... No you aren't being overly sensitive, in that situation I would have felt the same way. I just finished reading Push, the book that is the premise for the movie Precious and it was one of the hardest books I have ever read.

I don't know what could compell a Mama to treat her child that way and believe me girl child is not an easy child. She stretches and pushes me as a person and not always in the best way. Yet no matter how mad I get, hurting her or doing anything that could damage her never crosses my mind.

Sigh....I hope those girls have someone positive in their lives and hope that maybe that mama was just having a bad day.

navelgazingbajan said...

I agree, you're not being too sensitive. Sad thing is that even if you had said something that mother might have punished the child even more. That mother might have been treated the same way as a child and is continuing a cycle of dysfunctional parenting.

I also hope that the mother was just having a bad day.

liberationtheory said...

My stomach just turned and NO you are not being sensitive.

The way that *we* treat our black girls and women should make God cringe.

I will definitely say a prayer of protection and hope that they see a way out and are stronger, and yet still loving for it.

puregoldlady said...

I read this last night and it was traumatizing. It made me wonder how many children live like this. I said a little prayer for ALL of them.

I'm still upset by this.

The Original Wombman said...

BGIM, I too hope they has someone positive to counteract that. And you're so right, maybe it was just a bad day for the mama.

NGBajan, yeah, one thing I'm learning from reading Connection Parenting is that we have to consciously and actively break the cycle or else it will just keep on a-going.

Lib Theory . . . I get so down sometimes when I see the way Black women and girls and treated by other Black women and girls. You're right, God would cringe if not cry.

PGL, it is upsetting and since I see it so often (moreso towards boys), I really try not to do too much interacting in this town. Which is hard because I prefer to walk to take care of my business (actually can't stand driving). But I see it all over--post office, grocery store, etc . . . it's tough.

Cocoanib said...

Oh man, this breaks my heart. Something like this would have haunted me as well.
I have seen similar things like this in my neighborhood. There is one building of folks that seem to surround themselves with hate and negativity. I see them speaking to their kids inapropriately and even cussing their dogs out in the middle of the street. I always ask myself why they continue to have kids and get pets if they don't want them around.
DH and I have both wanted to call the authorities, but there is no real "abuse" that we would be able to prove. We also don't want any backlash from these hateful people.
What can we do, but pray.

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