Sunday, October 5, 2008

There's so much going on in the world right now

That it seems kind of self-centered to be talking about myself. But this blog is about myself so . . . here I go.

I thought I'd elaborate more on my feelings about cutting my hair. Interestingly enough, the predominant emotion I feel is anger. I can't say that is directed toward anyone or anything but I'm just angry that I cannot have the head full of long, lustrous locks that I have desired for so long. Aesthetically, hair wise, few styles are more pleasing to my eyes than healthy looking, flowing dreadlocks. Since I wasn't lying when I said this last set would be my last set, I am sadly letting go of the dream of having them. It seems that by letting go of dreadlocks, there's a whole set of other things I'm letting go of/realizing. But all that is for my personal journal as I'm not ready to put it out there like that.

Currently I'm trying to convince myself that I look good with my hair this short. I'm also trying to be cool because it might never grow. Maybe through all of this I will come to find out that, surprise, it's all genetic. That thought struck me especially hard when my baby brother who's 17 showed me a bald spot. Come to think of it, lots of guys on my mom's side deal with thinning hair. Maybe this has something to do with my hair loss. Who knows? What I do now is that this whole hair journey has been completely and utterly exhausting. So aside from the anger, I also feel relief.

I am still working hard on emergency preparedness despite the fact that DH thinks I'm "paranoid" and "making him crazy". I'm working on our first aid kit and trying to get some lanterns/other light sources together. Tomorrow, I'm sending DH out to get massive amounts of bottled water. In a few weeks, we should be somewhat recovered financially and we'll be able to purchase the water filter. I can then save the bottled water. I want to find some water purifying tablets. I'm going to apply for Z2's passport on Tuesday. Tomorrow I'm headed to Whole Paycheck for my once monthly trip. Mostly I'll be buying bulk grains and beans.

I've been adhering to the grocery budget and still managing to stock the pantry. It's amazing how much further the dollar stretches when you do non-organic.

Other than that, I'm keeping my ear to the ground and taking everything in stride, trying to find some faith.

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