Wednesday, October 21, 2009

Too tired tonight . . .

Like most things I do in life, I go at it passionately until I just about burn out. As I get older, I'm more cognizant of this and I can generally correct the way I'm approaching something so that I don't burn out or get totally frustrated. It's what I think I did by deciding to work out at night and not first thing in the morning.

But I'd be lying if I said it wasn't hard. Many days I fall asleep when putting the boys down to bed. I set the alarm clock to 9:00 and manage to get up, workout, shower and go back to bed. Tonight was not one of those nights. I just kept snoozing the alarm clock until it was about a quarter to 10. At that point, I realized, I wasn't going to be getting into any workout tonight.

And now I'm fighting off feelings of guilt and disappointment in myself even though I know intellectually that I am really tired. I keep thinking that I should be able to pull the motivation from somewhere but I just want to sit here. And then sit here some more. Maybe mentally today I should have been pumping myself up more. Maybe I should have eaten less dinner or something different. Maybe I should have just stayed in bed.

Being with your children all day long is one of those things . . . it's kind of like when you're working out and you don't realize you over do it until it's too late. Your body reaches the point of exhaustion sometimes way before your mind gets a clue. And then to add insult to injury, folks act like you're not doing anything anyway so what's the problem?

(((Huge sigh)))) Maybe it's not too late to squeeze in a workout. I'll wait 15 minutes and see.

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