La Biblioteca

If you know me,  you know I love my library and I have loved the library since I was a girl.  Also, I have been especially fortunate to have always lived within walking distance of the library.  

In the last year, our town's library has threatened to close down twice.  Each time, I have gotten really worried and sad that such a wonderful resource should be facing closure.  Surely monies could be allocated in a different kind of way to make sure that something as important as the town's library (for goodness sake) remains open.  To me, it really spoke to the priorities of the people who live in my town.  When I decided to be more compassionate and understanding, it really spoke to me about what the people who live in this town are focused on instead: survival.  This economy has ravaged folks and my town is no exception.  It is split down the middle by the proverbial train tracks.  On the south side you will find projects, gang activity and all the other accoutrements of the ghetto.  On the north side, it might as well be a different town:  beautiful houses and well-to-do families. The south side folks are focused on eating and, well, staying alive.  The north side folks are, it seems, trying to make sure to have as little to do with the south side folks as possible.  In fact, they often call the north side a totally different name just to make as much distance as possible.  There's a commuter train close to that side and it's actually closer to walk to the neighboring town's library if you live on the north side.  The town's three best schools are also only available to you as a town's person if you live on the north side.  And so the town's library, which is (sadly) situated on the south side, suffers.  

Photo Credit

I, however, have been faithful to the library through it all.  I hold it dear.  Even if I can't get material that I need there, I can always do an interlibrary loan and there is no charge (and some town's libraries do charge for a hold).  I don't know: to me a library is invaluable.  Information or access to information is priceless.  I have been doing all I reasonably can to let the folks who run the library and run this town know that at least one family would take a serious hit should the library close.

I've often thought that one good way to breathe life and vitality into the library is through children's programs.  Parents (generally speaking) will bring their kids to a program they know their kids will enjoy.  Every Tuesday we go to a play/story time program.  They instituted this Tuesday program specifically for parents and their children since the Wednesday and Thursday programs had become overrun with daycare children.  The librarian who usually runs the program on Tuesday is a little odd.  I mean, he doesn't like to make eye contact with the adults but he puts on a pretty decent program for the children.  I really like that he puts some thought into picking the books he will read and the kids seem to enjoy it, I guess.  But he loses their attention because, truth be told, dude is boring.   The librarian who runs the Wednesday and Thursday storytime, however, is just more alive.  He gets out the CD player and puts on music the kids like and really engages with them and with the adults.  His book choices, though . . . yesterday he read a Maisy lift-the-flap book.  And I had to remind him that Hop on Pop is hell of long.  I was underwhelmed.  

So I'm not totally thrilled with the quality of the programs at our library and I actually make it to the story time a few towns over once a week so that my boys get a really good story time hour.  I wonder if it's chicken before the egg though:  are the programs not high quality because the town's people don't care or do the town's people not care because the programs are not high quality?  I can't be sure.  But I'll continue to go and show my support because even if it's not great, it's what we've got and it could be a foundation for something better.    

P.S.  Thank you Mama T for reading my blog and letting me know you did.  You inspired me today.  :)  

Z1 learns the Piano

Music is very important to me.  I really love and appreciate all kinds of music and have always had a strong desire to make music either using an instrument or my voice.  I've played the recorder, saxophone, violin and piano.  The piano, though, has always been my true love and I sincerely wish that I had gone further in my studies.  

Because I love music, it's one thing that I knew I would have to share with my kids so we listen to lots and lots of it.  One day it could be all Ella Fitzgerald and next day we're listening to Burning Spear and then the day after that it's Yo-Yo Ma.  But I also really want them to play music.  Now, I know you can't force these things on children but I determined that I was going to do my best to expose them to all different kinds of musical instruments to see if they naturally took to any one.

Photo Credit: http://www.mysterytrax.com/Bio.htm

Well, we started Z1 with violin at a church a few towns over.  These are low cost classes with about 8 or 9 other children in the class.  The boy does not like the violin at all.  I think he finds it difficult to physically play the instrument.  May be will take a liking to it later on.  Currently, though, it's not his cup of tea.

So on the recommendation of some homeschooling friends we know, we started him in private piano lessons.  They are not cheap but he really, really loves it.  I don't have to cajole him to practice or go to his lesson and he likes his teacher.  I like her too.  She is funny and charismatic and just brings piano playing to life.  I'm very pleased with her style and how much Z1 is learning.  

We don't, however, have a piano.  We have a small keyboard on which Z1 practices.  I'd like to get a real piano soon but we really don't have a place to put it unless we move some things around.  We'd have to get rid of the television cabinet (which houses the television, VCR, DVD player, receiver and Roku).  I'm thinking we could put the piano there and get a small flat screen television to mount on the wall.  The other electronics could easily fit in a small cabinet that I'm sure we could find at the thrift store.   I'm fairly certain it would be easy to get a piano for a decent price just from taking a quick survey on Craig's List.  We would have to pay someone to move it and probably would need to get it tuned.  I'm excited about the prospect of having a piano in the house not only for Z1 but for myself.  I would love the opportunity to get better at playing.  

Funnily enough, Z1 learning a new instrument has reminded me about how much I have always wanted to play the bass guitar.  Sometimes I listen to certain songs over and over just for the bass lines:

and

With all the books, DVDs, and YouTube videos available coupled with my good foundation in music, I know that I could probably teach myself.  So I'm on the lookout for a bass guitar and an amplifier.  

Something has happened over the last few months to a year:  I've lost my passion for a lot of things.  Things that at one point I couldn't imagine not being passionate about.  Writing.  Knitting. Crochet.  Reading.  Cooking.  Baking.  Almost everything, it seems like.  I often feel like I am just going through the motions and not much excites me.  Even though almost every morning I'm reading about being mindful and present.  There are a lot of reasons for this--mostly deeply personal so I won't go into them here--but the thought of getting a piano and a bass guitar finally made something move inside me and I am hoping that this will re-trigger my other passions.    

Anyway, I am glad Z1 is on an instrument that he likes.  It means that I don't have to be all "Tiger Mom" on him about practicing and being diligent in his study.  

It's been a while . . .

I didn't realize I hadn't blogged in a month.  I've been really busy with my boys and life in general.  Also, I've really been suffering with digestive issues. Really suffering.  I cannot place a finger on what it is that makes me feel bad.  I have taken things out and put things back in.  Sometimes I feel better.  Other times I feel worse.

For the past week, I've been feeling much better but I don't want to get too excited.  I am eating a minimal amount of grains: some rye bread here and there (really just to finish the loaf I have at home and then no more of that), a small bowl of millet or oatmeal (once the oatmeal is done, I'm nixing that too).  No beans. (This is a definite:  no matter how the beans are prepared-soaked, fermented, whatever, my body does not know what to do with them.  Two tablespoons of lentil curry the other night had me gripping my stomach in serious distress--heck, even grain fed turkey is a problem for me). Very small amount of nuts and no peanuts (peanuts are legumes also and cause havoc in my system).  I'm keeping up with my probiotics and cod liver oil too with more consistency.  I feel good but I am tentative.  I know that it could slip back into feeling very bad, very soon.  Sadly, I almost expect it.

On Monday, I'm going to another gastroenterologist to see if I can schedule an endoscopy. I have very little faith in the medical establishment, all of who swear that my diet is ideal and "very healthy" even though it has been making me very sick.  But I'm going to do the endoscopy just fulfill all righteousness and say that I've done everything "medically prudent" to get better.  

Currently, I'm looking into the Paleolithic diet.  It's a bit overhwelming because it such a drastic departure from what I'm used to eating. Even more drastic than becoming vegan.  But honestly, I need to do what I need to do to feel consistently good.  I'm tired of feeling tired and sick.  I have no illusion like I did when I started eating a vegan diet:  I don't expect the Paleo diet to magically make my allergies go away, my vision improve, my hair grow in thick, my skin glow and become blemish-free.  But maybe.  Can't hurt to try. I'm moving gradually toward it.  Acquiring some cookbooks.  Reading as much as I can.  Trying to overcome the mental resistance to change.  And trying to be brave enough and generate enough energy to do it by myself (it would be so much easier if the hubby were doing it too--I am literally cooking twice as much these day: one meal for my family and one meal for me).  

Anyway, I just finished reading a very good book called Olive Kitteridge. Looking forward to reviewing it in a later post.  

3x3 Twisted Rib Gaiter

I really do no like scarves. A neck gaiter, basically a continuos cylinder of fabric that you slip over your head and onto your neck, works much better for me.  I can pull it up over  my head like a hood or pull it up over my mouth or nose for extra cold protection.

I had this red (itchy) wool yarn hanging around for the longest time.  I have no idea where I got it from or the brand.  I only know it's wool.  It was not a lot of yarn so I had a hard time figuring out what to use it for.  It was, however, just enough to make a nice sized gaiter. I love how this yarn has flecks of orange in it and it leant itself well to the 3x3 rib pattern. A quick and easy knit with great results. I am going to treat it with some hair conditioner to make it softer/less itchy (hopefully it works). I can't wait to wear it.

 

Link to the Pattern

Link to my project on Ravelry

I'm currently knitting one for the hubby with the most beautiful, softest angora yarn that we got from Smiley's a couple of years back.  I don't know when I'll be done with that one but hopefully it'll before before winter is over.  :p

The Hubby and I got Matching Tattoos

To celebrate our 7th wedding anniversary/Valentine's Day.  It's my first but the hubby had a few already.

Mine is on my right ankle.  The hubby's is on his inner left forearm.  It is the Adinkra symbol Me Waro Wo:

ME WARE WO 

"I shall marry you "

symbol of commitment, perseverance

From the expression "No one rushes into the job of mixing the concrete for building the house of marriage."

See Cloth As Metaphor by G.F. Kojo Arthur, pp. 89, 163.

 Adinkra Symbols of West Africa

It was painful but not so painful that I wouldn't go ahead and get the rest of the tattoos I want.  In fact, I'm thinking of repeating the pattern all around my leg to form a cuff.  I probably will do that but just this one alone cost $50 and it would need to be repeated about 4 more times I think.

I almost got my piercings too but it was busy at the shop yesterday.   It turned out to be just as well since I'm always wearing hats right now.  The friction between the hat and the brand new piercings would surely have been a painful affair.  So I'll just wait until the summer.

Escaping the Scarcity Mentality

The mentality of scarcity is something that creeps up on me.  I try to cultivate this feeling of abundance by being really grateful for all it is I have.  But I think in these difficult economic times, where all the reports keep repeating how bad it is and how much worse it's getting, it's easy to slip into a mode of thinking that says that there couldn't possibly be enough or there won't be enough.

Photo Credit

I started thinking really deeply about this the other day because of two things.  Firstly, my knife.  You know I feel like a good, sharp knife is perhaps the most important tool in the kitchen.  Yet, I am always hesitant to sharpen my knife.  The other day I really took a moment to think about why.  I realized that deep inside, I don't want to sharpen it because I'm trying to prolong the life of it since it was such an expensive knife (by my standards).  Now, there's nothing wrong with trying to get the most out of something especially when you've paid good money for it.  Except if you are depriving yourself of enjoying that very thing, it kind of defeats the purpose.

Secondly, my running gloves.  These too were also a pretty big chunk of change for me.  The fact of the matter is that they are very good gloves under my wool mittens because they have a wind-breaking hood and actually keep my hands moderately warm so I can do things like unlock the door or strap my children into car seats.  But I found myself making the decision not to wear them, again, to prolong their life.  So I find myself with frosty fingers (my hands are always cold) wondering why I don't just always wear the dang running gloves.  

I figured out that the underlying thought process is that should the knife go dull or the gloves fray or get a hole, I won't be able to replace them.  That kind of thinking only increases my chances that this will indeed be the case.  So I'm actively looking for ways and working on methods to let go of this fear, to live in in the present and enjoy what I have now to the fullest.  

Does the scarcity mentality ever creep up on you?  How do you put it to rest?  

Am I too old for that?

I'm 29 years old which is relatively young, I think.  Yet, I feel old.  And most of the time people will add 5-10 years to my actual age and be quite surprised when I tell them how old I really am.  I don't think it's that I look particularly old (although I do have gray hair already).  I think it's more so my energy and approach to things.  

To a large extent, I have always felt much older than my true age.  This is due to two things: my personality and birth order.  In terms of my personality, I am naturally serious and focused.  One of my biggest challenges with having my own children is being able to relax and play--to do activities that don't have a particular goal or aim except fun.  Not being able to just have fun will make you feel old and age you.  In terms of my birth order, I'm the eldest of three children and growing up, my parents expected me to be more responsible and to help out with my little sister and brother.  Again, I felt there was very little room for me to be playful and silly and so my natural inclination to be "grown up" was reinforced.  

The other day, I was at the thrift store and I spotted the cutest little pink earflap hat with a big, old pom-pom at the top.  I really wanted to get it but I told myself I was too old to wear something so silly and childish.  Luckily, by the time I convinced myself that I wasn't too old and went back to get it, it was still there (for the handsome price of $1.00).   I bought it, fixed a little of the crochet edgings that had come lose, washed it and then tried it on. I'll admit, I felt kind of silly but I still really like it.  So whatever, I wear it.  And it gives me a "youth" jolt.  

Photo Credit

For the longest time, I have wanted to cut my hair into a mohawk.  I knew it would look good on me and would complement my face but the same tape about being too old kept playing back in my head.  On Sunday, I just decided to do it.  I'm having all kinds of anxious thoughts about how it will be received at work and in general but . . . I just need to give it a try.  I need to liberate myself from this idea of being too old for things.  I'm only 29 for goodness sake.  And you are only as old as you think you are.

I'm never one to jump on that bandwagon of bashing women in their 40s and 50s who are "trying to look young".  I mean, I guess there are clothes and makeup that are not appropriate for everyone but who are we to dictate what someone is "too old" for?  I can't stand all these boxes we try to force people to fit into based on their sex, gender, age, race, religion, etc.  

And I can't stand that mentally, I've been putting myself in a box.  I'm really making an effort to break out and not limit myself based on some useless idea of being too old.  I mean, there are good reasons to understand and appreciate one's age.  You don't want to keep repeating the mistakes of your youth.  You want to grow in wisdom and understanding.  You don't want to stagnate at some juvenile mental age. But at the same time, you don't want to stagnate at some older age and become a person who can't change, who won't take risks, who won't experiment because you're "too old for that."  

Again, it comes back to the whole challenge of finding balance.  And it is a daily, moment-by-moment exercise. 

Sushi making!

The first time I tried sushi was maybe a year ago.  I don't know . . . I'm picky and it didn't seem like something I would like.  But at my sister's encouragement, I gave it a try and it turns out, I just love sushi.  Now granted, I've only been brave enough to try vegetable sushi rolls but maybe one day I will branch out.  Right now, the vegetable ones are all I need.

Some local markets around here have sushi chefs who make fresh sushi (with brown rice) daily.  It's really delicious but at $7 a tray (8 rolls), it's kind of expensive.  In Chinatown, all the way downtown, you can get really, really good freshly made sushi for $3 a tray (6 rolls) but they use white rice exclusively.  Since it's not something we have often, I do get it if we're down there but it's way too far to go for regularly.  

So, I thought I'd give it a try at home.  Trying to do it freeform was kind of a disaster so I purchased the Sushezi.  I've only used it once but it didn't come out as well as I'd hoped.  I didn't realize I had to do something to the rice (aside from boil it) and I certainly didn't get the hang of rolling them on the first try.  They tasted all right . . . the fact of the matter is we like nori, we like carrots, we like cucumbers and we like rice all on their own merits.  However which way they come together, we'll probably like the combination.  

Anyway, I'll probably give it another shot this coming Saturday.  I'm going to use this recipe and let you know how it turns out.  

Whose side would you take?

Many houses on the street I live on do not have driveways.  So even though we reside on this block, we have to contend with others for street parking.  This is especially difficult because we are just one block from the commuter train station and many people park here and go to work (instead of paying to park in the lot). Also, we are just one block from the library, the post office and a municipal building (the one that handles social services).  It can sometimes be a real fight to get a parking space especially on Monday and Tuesday when alternate side of the street parking is in effect.  And most especially now when there are 4 and 5 foot high piles of snow stacked everywhere.

The other day when it snowed, the hubby and almost all our neighbors were out there shoveling walkways and digging their cars out of the snow. There was a real camaraderie. Most people when they moved their cars to drive out started putting safety cones, garbage cans, bins, anything really, to hold their space.   I felt funny about doing it initially but I really had no choice.  There is no parking and I could end up having to park blocks and blocks away if I didn't make sure to put a place holder.  So I've been doing it too and it's been a tremendous help.  I'm usually bringing in groceries or other goods or juggling my kids and their stuff.  The weather has been terrible and it just makes it so much easier that I don't have to park as far as a bus ride away.  

People have been respecting the place holders and that has been a great relief to me, I have to say.  People have understood our struggle and have honored the fact that we live on this block and dug it out.  Up until yesterday.

We had a playdate and we were supposed to go to my friend's house.  The roads were still pretty bad so the hubby was to take my Subaru to work.  I thought we wouldn't be able to have the playdate but then I realized she could just park in my space.  She'd be gone long before the hubby came home.  Great plan and I was relieved that we'd have some company.

Almost immediately after the hubby left, my niece calls me to say that someone was in my spot.  I didn't worry because I figured it was my friend's Honda Odyssey.  I looked out the window and it was an Infinity coupe that didn't belong to anyone who lived on this block.  The owner had moved my place holder.  The only reason he chose my space was because, unlike my neighbors, I only placed one safety cone. My neighbors had 2 or 3 large garbage cans or bins to hold their space. 

I looked around to see if maybe it was just someone who'd come to drop something off but there was no one around.  I got upset.  It would have been okay if I didn't have my friend coming because I was sure the person would be gone at least by 6 (because either they went to the city on the commuter train, to the library, to the post office or to the social services building--all of which closed by 6) so my husband would have a place to park my car when he got home at least.  But right then, I was kind of stuck as my friend was on her way.  

I wrote a note.  A polite but strongly worded note about being considerate of the fact that we put so much work into clearing the snow and putting the marker in and that we live on this block.  I taped it to his car with far more tape than was necessary and even put a piece of tape on his car door handle and side view mirror (I was frustrated).  I still had my friend come and we parked her car in the space next to mine, moving my neighbor's place markers.  I left a note in my friend's car with my number so that if my neighbor came home, we'd cut the playdate short and she'd move the car.  (Yes, we'd have to cut the playdate short--there is NO parking.)   

The owner of the Infinity came back about an hour or so into the playdate.  He took the note I left on his car, tore into about 8 pieces and stuck it in various places all over my friend's car.  About an hour after that, he called me to yell at me telling me that it's illegal to put place markers on a public street (yes, he actually took the time to take down my number so that he could call me to tell me about myself).  When I went to help my friend to the car, I realized that he had come back and taken my place marker (a safety cone) and one of my neighbor's placer markers (his garbage can).  I guess he thought my neighbor's placer marker was mine also.   

This experience really made an impression on me and the way people are these days.  I couldn't believe that he went through such lengths over a note left by someone who clearly frustrated at having their spot "stolen".  I can understand that maybe there was an emergency or he was late for an appointment and really desperately needed parking.  I can't understand how this person couldn't understand the desperation we face to the point that we have to pull our car out of the space, get out and put a place marker so we don't lose the spot.  We don't do this under normal circumstances.  I thought he would have called me and explained that he was in a difficult situation and just needed to park quickly and he was sorry for the inconvenience.  I realize, though, that what I would do is not what others would do and I can't expect others to behave the way I would.  I also am coming to the realization that many people these days are really, really self-centered and refuse to think about other folks situation.  My friend's car is a mini-van.  The Infinity owner thought it was mine.  It's feasible that I had four or five kids I would have had to juggle out the car and get into the house--and he took one of the very few spaces available.  (((sigh)))

I know we had no lawful claim to the space.  But this is not about the law or justice to me.  It's about compassion and thinking of others.  

I'm really tired of fighting for street parking.  It's difficult to get the kids to the car safely.  On alternate side of the street parking days, I can't go anywhere in the morning before 12.  Some days I come home and there is just no parking for whatever reason and only a handful of the cars belong to people who live here.  There's the issue of snow.  And my town does not enforce the two-hour parking signs that are up (another town further north handles this by issuing "Resident" stickers to people who live there so they are exempt from the two-hour rule).  

We have space on our property for a driveway.  Once spring comes, I'm going to really have to look into what we need to do to get it put in.  I'm sure we have to get some permits and file paperwork and all that.  That's the hardest part.  Then we have to find someone to do the work and given our history contractors (we're currently being sued by a sub-contractor who put in our new roof who was hired by the contractor we signed the contract with), that will probably be pretty difficult too.  And then there's the cost.  

So what do you think about the situation?  Whose side would you have been on?  The Infinity owner's or mine?  

To Kick the Winter Blues

I needed to focus on something else beside snow.  So I started a fitness blog.  I'm really excited about it for two reasons.  First, I love to write about my fitness journey.  Secondly, I really hate cluttering up this blog with fitness (essentially making it a fitness blog).  I already have a whole bunch of ideas about what I want to write and do with the blog.  And it's an excellent outlet for me and something wonderful to focus on. So if you are interested, it's called The Daily Strive.  

The Big Seven

Today marks my 7th year of marriage.  

Whenever I read or hear that someone has been married 20 years or more my heart jumps a little.  I don't know how people do it.  I mean, I know how people do it: one day at a time, one week at a time, one month a time, one year at a time.  But it's daunting to think of such a long span of time.  And it really doesn't help that I don't personally know a couple that has been together that long or, rather, been together that long happily.  That's really scary.  Really, really scary. 

I so wish I did have that example.  I wish I did have someone who has been there, done that, to talk to.  A person who I could fully trust, who could empathize and offer sound, balanced advice.  What I find is that I have to protect and safeguard my marriage.  I have to keep things very private because people don't understand.  They don't have the experience to understand.  And they don't get that I don't want them to be on "my" side.  So I end up not talking much about issues in my marriage that are bothering me or that are problematic or that I can't see a solution to.  Except for sometimes when I post on a message board.  But that always seems . . . impersonal and you can never convey fully what the situation entails and exactly how everyone feels.  Plus, it's a whole bunch of strangers who don't know you anyway.

So on my 7th anniversary, I have to acknowledge that marriage is perhaps the most difficult thing I've ever done.  It's bittersweet.  On the one hand, we made it!  And we made it through a whole lot of nonsense and obstacles at that!  And we have a good, solid happy marriage and we still fundamentally like each other and genuinely love each other.  On the other, I get weary sometimes and wonder how to keep making it.  I struggle sometimes with the feeling that I sacrificed my 20s at the altar of marriage thinking it was an alternative, and obvious/wise choice and an investment.  But I can't always gauge the return or if there will be one.  I hope so though.  I believe so.

I'm not the happiest I could possibly be but I'm not the most miserable.  I'm pretty happy.  And I am honest with myself in saying that my marriage is not what is keeping me from being totally and completely happy.  Whatever that means (what it means to be happy and how to be happy is the subject of many a book . . . no one seems to really know the answer).

I feel fortunate to have found this book though: The Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman. I'm getting through it slowly, reading from it for five minutes daily at my altar.  I've already gained a lot of insight.  I hope more useful resources like this keep coming my way because in my heart of hearts, I want to make it to 20 years and much, much further.  

A bit of a dilemma

My children do not like to eat very many things.  They don't like tofu.  They don't like any bean or any dish that a bean is in.  Z1 will tolerate burritos or tacos made with black beans but not Z2.  They both will tolerate split pea soup but not without some serious cajoling.  It seems all they want to eat are fish sticks, broccoli, pizza, grilled cheese, or macaroni and cheese, and yogurt (but Z1 not so much).  It drives me crazy because I think they eat too much cheese but it's what they like.  And granted, the cheese I give them comes from grass-fed cows and all that but still . . . 

So I don't know.  I'm feeling totally better after switching back to an all-out omnivorous diet.  I have not given the kids any chicken, turkey or beef.  My idea was that they could decide later on if they wanted to eat those things.  But I don't know now.  They're growing fine and are hitting all their milestones.  I'd say they are well-nourished but I worry and I wonder would they be more willing to eat things like grilled or stir-fried chicken or turkey burgers as opposed to grilled or stir-fried tofu and veggie burgers.  

I'm writing this after another failed attempt at dinner.  Tried a new dish in hopes that they'd like it:  it's a peanut sweet potato stew with kidney beans from Vegan Planet.  I tasted just a little and I think it's delicious especially with rice.  Initially, I was going to make sweet and spicy chili from the same cookbook but I already knew it would be a fail.

Photo credit

Saul Williams

Is one of my favorite spoken word artists.  Also, I loved him in "Girlfriends" as Lynn's celibate boyfriend.  :)

Saul Williams       (during a rap slam practice at the Portland Nationals) 

Whish-shhhh, whish- shhhh, whish- shhhh … 

If I could sample the wind I would loop it and 

let my life poem flow over its sacred beats. 

Using Kilamenjaro as my jembe I would drum rainbows 

out of the moonlight and use them as hooks in between verses. 

Verses of little girls spinning ropes in opposite directions 

waiting for an opening to jump in. 

As the world turns double dutch 

I jump double time over oceans and back 

the water waves and I wave back  

awakening echoes of sunshine, 

folks get ‘round in the sunshine, 

but the lightening FLASH three times and it’s time for the course 

which includes cornbread, candied yams, and all that good stuff, 

which black folks and Saturn are made of. 

As we approach the second verse 

the roots of trees are plucked from baselines 

which resonate and shake the earth 

devastating everything that’s not built in harmony in it. 

The second verse is a journey through the ruins 

of ruined souls that valued all that was nothing 

and nothing of the all-knowing, ever-flowing wind 

which is the undercurrent of this current 

blowing the funky drummer from here to eternity. 

But even as ruined souls back spin 

the wind mills forward and rocks steady till the sun 

hits the fader and the chorus kicks in then 

the moon yells, “Go!” and we all back spin, “Zulu!!” 

as the moonlight shines true blue silvery indigo light 

my spirit takes flight because the indigo moonlight is my endo, 

indigo, indigo-on-to-the-break-of-dawn, 

rock, rock steady steady to the early morn’, 

Word is born. 

I’m talking about seeing your nature 

in nature and nature in your nature, 

New York states of mind did not create ‘cha, 

neither ‘til you listen to rock hear mine care mine 

a rocky mountain top if you heard hip hop. 

It’s graduated urban an element that created it and 

let and open-wide countryside illustrate it. 

Riding in a freight train, listening to Coltrane 

my reality went insane and I think I saw Jesus. 

He was playing hop-scotch with Benny Carter 

who was cursing him out in a Scat-like gibberish 

for not saying, “Butterfingers.” 

And God created sand like seeds of time, 

the pains of man the frames of mind which built these frames 

which is the structure of my urban superstructure. 

The trains and planes could corrupt and obstruct 

your train of thought so that you forget how to walk through the woods,  

which ain’t good, ‘cause if you ain’t never walked through the trees 

listening to nobody beats the biz then you ain’t never heard hip hop. 

And it don’t stop and it don’t stop and it don’t, 

stop letting cities define you, confine you 

to that which is cement and brick. 

We are not a hard peoples. 

Our domes have been crowned with the likes of steeples. 

That which is our being soars with the eagles and 

the Johnathon Livingston Seagles. Yes. 

I got wings. 

You got wings. 

All got wings. All God wings. 

So let’s widen the circumference of our nest 

and escape this urban incubator. You see, 

the wind plays the world like an instrument, 

blows through trees like flutes, 

but trees don’t grow in cement. 

And as heartbeats bring percussion, 

fallen trees bring repercussions, 

cities play upon our souls like broken drums. 

We drum the essence of creation from city slums. 

But city slums mute our drums. 

And our drums become hum-drum ‘cause 

city slums have never been where are drums are from. 

Just the place where our daughters and sons 

become off-beat heartbeats, 

slaves to city streets, 

where hearts get broken and heartbeats stop. 

Broken heartbeats become break beats 

for niggers to rhyme on top. 

But they rhyme about – nothin’. 

They don’t got nothin’ to rhyme about 

‘cause you’ve never seen the moon, your styles 

can’t be universal if you’re not in tune with the 

whish- shhhh, whish- shhhh, whish- shhhh.  

Text found here

It seems that a teacher had used this to teach about literary devices.  I think that would be brilliant and I would have loved to study Williams work as student.  

Last Completed Project of 2010

The last project I completed in 2010:

I used a bulky acrylic (?) yarn someone gave me a while back.  I love the color (green is my absolute favorite color--all shades).  I used an "N" hook and this pattern.  It was a quick, easy project worked entirely with triple crochets around posts. I think it came out nicely.  The only problem:  I have no idea where, when or with what I'd actually wear it.  If you think you could rock it, e-mail me and I'll send it to you.

I haven't really been focused on crocheting and knitting, at least not enough to purchase new yarns.  I'm just using up whatever is in my stash.  Maybe later on in the year, I'll get inspired.  I definitely want to try knitting myself a sweater with some luscious yarn and using an amazing pattern (suggestions welcome).  Maybe this is the  year for that.

Have you written down your goals?

One of my best friends and I are working on what we are calling, "Do Lists".  These are things that was need to do in this lifetime and we're not limiting it to 2010 although there are some things marked "urgent".  These things we'd like to see happen much sooner than later.

I'm not one to tell people how to go about keeping the promises they've made to themselves but I do believe this one thing: if you are serious about reaching your goals, you must write them down.  In detail.  Very specifically.  

So it's not, "I want to get fit".  No!  It's I want to

-be able to touch my toes

-jump rope for 30 seconds without stopping

-do 5 push ups

-run a mile in 15 minutes

It's not, "I want to have more friends" . . . it's I want:

-companions to knit with

-someone to cook with

-a book club to join that suits me

I think (and experience confirms) that this is the most effective way to achieve your goals.  Post your specific goals in highly visible places.  Or not.  Tuck it away in a diary or a book and refer to it periodically.  It makes such a difference to see what you are aiming for and to imagine it/visualize it happening as if it were happening.

"With our thoughts we make the world," said the Buddha.  I'm all about finding out if he spoke the truth.  And I'm starting with my list.