Saturday, August 23, 2008

I've been laboring over my children's book

Which is a retelling of a story I heard as a child. Only to find that someone has already retold it and published it.

I keep thinking that maybe my retelling is fresh enough and different enough that it will be published also. I put the book on hold at the library. I'm anxious to read it.

But I seriously have lost my momentum.

And I honestly feel trapped in mediocrity. I feel like the only thing I'm good at is being a mother and I have my days when I doubt even that. I don't feel creative. I don't feel innovative. Just mediocre.

I also need to find a way to bring it about $800 extra a month. Thinking about babysitting. Thinking about some other things.

I am scared because I know I never want to go back to teaching at least not while the kids are young but I still have the student loans from the degree hanging over my head.

And the car. DH has expressed that the payment is just too hefty. It was manageable when we thought I would be working full time but now, it's just hefty.

So an extra $800 should make things comfortable.

Publishing the books just doesn't seem like a viable place to put my hope for making a living. I don't even want to look at my manuscripts.



Nettie said...

I can relate to absolutely everything you've posted here. Hang in there, I'm trying too.

St Theresa lent me her halo said...

Don't feel discouraged! Do you know how many Goldilocks and the Three Bears books there are? There is always room for another retelling of a children's tale. Always.

Try to step away from the stress and allow a solution to come to and through you. I'm thinking of you and sending you lots of good juju!

Chi-Chi said...

Thanks so much for the encouragement. :)

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