Sunday, December 14, 2008

Crazy and Insane

I don't know.

Sometimes I think it's not natural to be a stay-at-home mom, cut off, for the most part, from a large variety and array of adults. Personally, I tend to make up for that by talking to the hubby about conversations he had with his co-workers at work and, most significantly, by reading blogs and message boards. I wonder at times if by doing this, I've created for myself an alternate reality, a little bubble that's not quite in touch with what's really going on in the world.

I mean, I really feel like we're in another great depression, larger in magnitude than the first and with more far-reaching consequence. I really feel like when the depression is "over," life as we know it will be completely and utterly different. Unrecognizable.

Maybe if I spoke to more people in real life, I wouldn't feel like I could very well be a nutcase because I'd come to realize that they feel that way too. That it's not just bloggers who are sounding the warning alarm and preparing themselves for the worst. That real-life people are really conscious of what's going on.

Or is it that the world at large and the few people I speak to are really blissfully unaware? They really don't know. Do they really think these are just "tough economic times?"

Is it insanity not to notice the signs?

Even astrology confirms that the time we are in is going to be a seriously difficult time. Is it silly to look to astrology for confirmation?

I might be crazy. I might be insane. But I am preparing myself spiritually and mentally for whatever may come. Good. Bad. Or ugly.

I meditate and affirm every morning. My spirit has to be in the right place to deal with a crisis. I work my mind every day. I have to be mentally fit to fix things and overcome challenges--even stuff I never thought I'd have to do. Like learn how to use a firearm.

The age of driving everywhere is coming to a close. I really believe that. So yes, I want to get in shape so I can fit into my pre-pregnancy clothes but I also want to be in shape because that gives me a better chance of survival. If I can run a mile, walk even more miles especially with a baby on my back, that gives me an advantage. I leave the double stroller at home more often now so that Z1 gets accustomed to walking. Long distances. Whenever I drive 20 or 30 minutes someplace, I think to myself that once the days of motoring are over, these kinds of trips are over. It would literally take me days to make a trip that would take 30 minutes driving. I wonder when fuel is no more, will I ever get to see my people back in Naija? Will I be stuck here in the U.S. . . . should I be making plans to move now while there's still some oil left?

Am I excited over lowered gas prices? Yes. It allows me to use the savings to stock up my pantry, buy books on gardening and other supplies that we may need. I know these low gas prices are a fake-out. I don't have any complicated studies to back up my feeling. I just know it. I don't drive unless I have to. It annoys me that where we live is so cold right now that unless we stay home, driving is often justified. As soon as Z2 walks well though, we will drive a whole lot less. I'm keeping it in focus. Driving is and always has been a luxury.

When I use water in my home I practice conservation not because I'm trying to be "green" but because there may be a day when conservation is *not* a choice, when water is rationed and scarce. Cloth diapering is great but it may one day be impractical. So I learn about elimination communication (natural infant hygiene) now. I hope to have Z2 out of diapers come late spring/early summer. I hope to know enough about it to show others around me who may need to learn. Having clean, running water is a luxury, unfortunately. Not a right.

I speak to my children about being resourceful and not wasting things because they can. Z1 in a store will ask for up to 25 things. I will counter each request with, "We don't need that."

Remember when I scored that cast-iron pot at the thrift store. I was so happy not just because I love the way food cooks in cast-iron but because . . . you can cook over an open flame with cast-iron. I have seriously thought about what kind of rig-up we could rig-up so I could cook in the fireplace.

Look, there are things I want like a new set of knitting needles. One part of me says "Save everything you can" while another part says "You might never have the opportunity to buy this stuff again with inflation." Are these the thoughts of a crazy person or a person who really knows what the hell is going on?

Have I jumped too enthusiastically on the conspiracy theory wagon? Again? Maybe.

Whatever, man. I'd rather err on the side of caution with this one. I'm focusing on emergency preparedness. Short term and long term.

The garden is in full swing this spring.


Hagar's Daughter said...

Chi Chi I feel on this, I really do. My brain sometimes is in the mode of how bad the economy is and it will get worse and times when I say that I can just cut back and still make it.

The Hubby's employer has indicated that lay offs are coming in Jan and that others have to take a 10% decrease in pay.

Chi-Chi said...

HD, The hubby works in health care so theoretically, his job is secure, right? Well, hopefully he will keep his job but the price of everything is going up . . . they are not trying to give him pay that reflects that. And with so many losing their jobs (and the health insurance), I suspect that folks won't be so quick to run to the hospital or the doctor. They'll be more likely to just run. To get in shape.

I know we will make it but honestly, what a time.

Anonymous said...

hi there chi chi,
kedun kodi? hope you can decipher my feeble attempt at igbo, lol. i'm also from nigeria, living stateside, and came to your blog via mothering.

i don't think you are crazy for having these worries, as i tend to obsess too about teotwawki, and preparing my family for it. i'd rather be on the safe side too.

i also think about making plans to move back home while we can. this distresses me so much sometimes, and i can only bring it up with a few people irl without feeling like i'm comming off a bit loony.

i would never turn to astrology though for confirmation of any sort, for religious reasons. i believe that everything happens in this life and beyond from the divine wisdom of The Creator, and for a purpose which we may, or may not understand. we as humans are to continue to seek knowledge, do our part as best as we can, and leave the rest.

peace and love mama.


Chi-Chi said...

Greetings Alternatives1! Thanks for checking out my blog. O dinma, dalu!! (((smiles)))

I"m glad I'm not alone! You speak the truth, of course. Every day I keep reminding myself that it is all in divine order.

You know, I grew up learning that astrology was not for us as Christians (I don't know if you are). Now that I'm older (and not a Christian), I find myself intrigued by astrology but not in a way that is outside of the Creator, you know? In that just as the Creator put everything else in order, He/She/It maybe set an order to the time based on how the planets and stars align. Kind of like our menstrual cycles as wombmen ... you know, when this hormone is dominant, a certain thing happens but when that one is, another thing happens. I can't say I buy astrology wholeheartedly, though. I don't know if anyone aside from the Creator is supposed to know.

Anonymous said...

Is writing a book on your list? Think about it

Chi-Chi said...

Anonymous, it is actually very high on my list (like #2). Thanks for dropping by and thanks for suggesting it. :)

Just Me said...

I hear you on this one. I'm torn because I will admit even though I'm thrifty in many ways...I do love "stuff", yet I try and be mindful of our consumption of all things.

mamak said...

I too believe times are a changin'
you are looking ahead and preparing. I am also.

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