I don't know.
Sometimes I think it's not natural to be a stay-at-home mom, cut off, for the most part, from a large variety and array of adults. Personally, I tend to make up for that by talking to the hubby about conversations he had with his co-workers at work and, most significantly, by reading blogs and message boards. I wonder at times if by doing this, I've created for myself an alternate reality, a little bubble that's not quite in touch with what's really going on in the world.
I mean, I really feel like we're in another great depression, larger in magnitude than the first and with more far-reaching consequence. I really feel like when the depression is "over," life as we know it will be completely and utterly different. Unrecognizable.
Maybe if I spoke to more people in real life, I wouldn't feel like I could very well be a nutcase because I'd come to realize that they feel that way too. That it's not just bloggers who are sounding the warning alarm and preparing themselves for the worst. That real-life people are really conscious of what's going on.
Or is it that the world at large and the few people I speak to are really blissfully unaware? They really don't know. Do they really think these are just "tough economic times?"
Is it insanity not to notice the signs?
Even astrology confirms that the time we are in is going to be a seriously difficult time. Is it silly to look to astrology for confirmation?
I might be crazy. I might be insane. But I am preparing myself spiritually and mentally for whatever may come. Good. Bad. Or ugly.
I meditate and affirm every morning. My spirit has to be in the right place to deal with a crisis. I work my mind every day. I have to be mentally fit to fix things and overcome challenges--even stuff I never thought I'd have to do. Like learn how to use a firearm.
The age of driving everywhere is coming to a close. I really believe that. So yes, I want to get in shape so I can fit into my pre-pregnancy clothes but I also want to be in shape because that gives me a better chance of survival. If I can run a mile, walk even more miles especially with a baby on my back, that gives me an advantage. I leave the double stroller at home more often now so that Z1 gets accustomed to walking. Long distances. Whenever I drive 20 or 30 minutes someplace, I think to myself that once the days of motoring are over, these kinds of trips are over. It would literally take me days to make a trip that would take 30 minutes driving. I wonder when fuel is no more, will I ever get to see my people back in Naija? Will I be stuck here in the U.S. . . . should I be making plans to move now while there's still some oil left?
Am I excited over lowered gas prices? Yes. It allows me to use the savings to stock up my pantry, buy books on gardening and other supplies that we may need. I know these low gas prices are a fake-out. I don't have any complicated studies to back up my feeling. I just know it. I don't drive unless I have to. It annoys me that where we live is so cold right now that unless we stay home, driving is often justified. As soon as Z2 walks well though, we will drive a whole lot less. I'm keeping it in focus. Driving is and always has been a luxury.
When I use water in my home I practice conservation not because I'm trying to be "green" but because there may be a day when conservation is *not* a choice, when water is rationed and scarce. Cloth diapering is great but it may one day be impractical. So I learn about elimination communication (natural infant hygiene) now. I hope to have Z2 out of diapers come late spring/early summer. I hope to know enough about it to show others around me who may need to learn. Having clean, running water is a luxury, unfortunately. Not a right.
I speak to my children about being resourceful and not wasting things because they can. Z1 in a store will ask for up to 25 things. I will counter each request with, "We don't need that."
Remember when I scored that cast-iron pot at the thrift store. I was so happy not just because I love the way food cooks in cast-iron but because . . . you can cook over an open flame with cast-iron. I have seriously thought about what kind of rig-up we could rig-up so I could cook in the fireplace.
Look, there are things I want like a new set of knitting needles. One part of me says "Save everything you can" while another part says "You might never have the opportunity to buy this stuff again with inflation." Are these the thoughts of a crazy person or a person who really knows what the hell is going on?
Have I jumped too enthusiastically on the conspiracy theory wagon? Again? Maybe.
Whatever, man. I'd rather err on the side of caution with this one. I'm focusing on emergency preparedness. Short term and long term.
The garden is in full swing this spring.