Apple Bran Muffins

It's apple season again!! A friend of mine recently made apple bran muffins and they were good so I decided to make a batch.

I did a quick google search and found this recipe. I asked one of my message boards about sure-fire vegan apple bran muffin recipes and the same recipe was suggested except with a warning that there might be too much baking soda. So I kept that in mind when making the few modifications I made. At Trader Joe's today, a bag of Granny Smith apples were on sale for $1.99 which was great. I had all the other ingredients on hand. Here are the modifications: I . . .

1. Used rice milk instead of soy milk
2. Used baking powder instead of baking soda
3. Added 1/4 teaspoon nutmeg
4. Added 1/2 teaspoon vanilla extract
5. Added 1/2 cup raisins

They are very wholesome and the kids really like them. Z1 is bugging me to hurry up with dinner so he can have another. Generally, I don't really like bran muffins all that much but with apples and raisins in them, they're actually very tasty. Eating them is comforting.

If any one has any tips on how to keep my jar of applesauce from going bad, that would be great. I only used 2 tablespoons from the whole jar.

Honesty?

There's a cookbook I've been wanting for eons. It's called Veganomicon. I haven't bought it because I really don't need it. I borrow it from the library regularly though.

Turns out the last time I'm checked it out, it didn't register in the system. This is not the first time something like this has happened. Our library workers are . . . I won't say incompetent . . . some are really great. Others really are in the wrong field. And you probably shouldn't be listening to music on your Ipod while at work. Anyway, the book is not showing up on my record. The library has no idea I have it. And it's one I've wanted for so long.

I know the right thing to do is return it but . . . I guess I'll return it when I get good and ready. (((Sigh)))

Honesty? Honesty.

Hula Hula Hula Hooping!

About two years ago, I purchased a weighted hula hoop from one of my good sistren who was vending at the International African Arts Festival. It's a beautiful hoop befitting any original wombman--ribbons and sparkles and all that.

Well, to say I suck at hula hooping is an understatement. And to make matters worse, the hubby is a master hula hooper. He just keeps going and going and going and going . . . So the hoop has been behind the dresser for months now and has received no play at all.

Well, today over at Afrobella's site, I saw she posted a wonderful video of First Lady Michelle Obama. Turns out that Mrs. Obama is also a master hula hooper.

Well folks, she inspired me! Since it was such a lovely day, the boys and I headed out to the backyard and I hula hooped for a whole hour. I'm still not great at it but I'm steadily getting better. It builds up a little bit of a sweat, you know, but most importantly, it's a lot of fun. I'm back on YouTube looking up tutorials and I hope to one day be a master hula hooper too!

Picture Credit: Hula Hoop by shelley.belley on Flickr. com

Too tired tonight . . .

Like most things I do in life, I go at it passionately until I just about burn out. As I get older, I'm more cognizant of this and I can generally correct the way I'm approaching something so that I don't burn out or get totally frustrated. It's what I think I did by deciding to work out at night and not first thing in the morning.

But I'd be lying if I said it wasn't hard. Many days I fall asleep when putting the boys down to bed. I set the alarm clock to 9:00 and manage to get up, workout, shower and go back to bed. Tonight was not one of those nights. I just kept snoozing the alarm clock until it was about a quarter to 10. At that point, I realized, I wasn't going to be getting into any workout tonight.

And now I'm fighting off feelings of guilt and disappointment in myself even though I know intellectually that I am really tired. I keep thinking that I should be able to pull the motivation from somewhere but I just want to sit here. And then sit here some more. Maybe mentally today I should have been pumping myself up more. Maybe I should have eaten less dinner or something different. Maybe I should have just stayed in bed.

Being with your children all day long is one of those things . . . it's kind of like when you're working out and you don't realize you over do it until it's too late. Your body reaches the point of exhaustion sometimes way before your mind gets a clue. And then to add insult to injury, folks act like you're not doing anything anyway so what's the problem?

(((Huge sigh)))) Maybe it's not too late to squeeze in a workout. I'll wait 15 minutes and see.

Reality has a way of restructuring dreams.

No one ever tells you how exquisitely challenging parenting can be. You only really hear the bright, sparkly, sunshine-y aspects of it--unless you go looking. Recently, though, there have been two great articles about this issue. One by Black Girl in Maine and the other by KIT.

I have been meditating and thinking and wondering and all that for months now and I've finally made peace with the decision to make it so that we will definitively not be having any more children. The hubby's been ready for a while now and I'm finally right there with him.

What sealed the deal? Put the last nail in the coffin. Yesterday we got a notice from the bank that holds our mortgage. School taxes have gone up and we will be paying a whopping $230 more a month. I sincerely hope it's a miscalculation but we're operating under the assumption that it's not.

Add to that the fact that my sleep was disturbed by police helicopters circumnavigating this 4 square mile town for over an hour. We have to leave this town for the sake of our boys and it will be much more likely to happen without more children. More children mean we need more things like a bigger car. We already managed to pay the one we have off and there's really no room in the budget for yet another car payment and we don't have the money on hand to just outright buy a car. More children means more diapers. More clothes. More everything really. And less to go around. It's so true.

When I sit down and look at all the pros and cons of having another baby, the cons unfortunately outweigh the pros. Even vanity plays in . . . I'm finally starting to see some muscle definition in my stomach. And, to be very honest . . . to be brutally and painfully honest . . . I'm tired. These two are enough for me especially if I continue to mother the hands-on way that I've been mothering. I keep thinking that as Z2 gets older, I could hang but right now . . . it's rough.

So I've given the hubby the okay. And hope he does it quick. Before sentiments start to take over. I've always envisioned myself with three or four kids . . . and I think dark thoughts sometimes like what if we lose one of our boys or something. But no new child could replace the ones I have anyway. That's the reality.

And reality sure has a way of restructuring dreams.

Cheap Yarn

=badly wound pull skein

which leads to one huge tangle of a k not

+ 2 kids who find it thrilling to wrap themselves in yarn?

=quick and easy knitting project turned into something terrible and frustrating.

No budget for quality yarns + No quality time to knit =I don't even want to be bothered.

Photo Courtesy of mfcorwin on Flickr.

Angelina Jolie and I don't have much in common.

Except for the flack we catch for our kids' hair. Especially since our hair is different from our children's hair (in my case, I wear a very short cut and my kids have locks and in her case, her hair is straight while her daughter's hair is textured).

If you read any blogs at all, you know that all the buzz is an article in Newsweek that commented on Jolie's daughter's hair.

Yes, there are issues in adoptions where the parents are a from different race or from a different culture. Still, celebrity children are not fair play for the media. It disgusts me to see little children being shoved into the limelight and talked about. And while I am not surprised that the issue of hair is (again) rearing it's ugly head, I am shocked at some of the things I am reading. I'm shocked at all the pseudo-deep conclusions about Black women and their hair and, most ashamedly, that folks are trying to use Zahara's hair as some kind of gauge for Ms. Jolie's fitness as a mother and/or the level of care (or neglect) she shows her child. I get it. Black hair is political, blah, blah, blah but Black women's hair issues affect Black women who then pass it on to their daughters. Zahara is a girl. With a White mom. She has her own journey she is going to need to take and, maybe, just maybe because her mom is White, she won't be saddled with the issues.

I'll admit that there have been pictures of Zahara that have left me wondering why no one is making an effort to style it. And by style, of course, I mean styles that young Black girls traditionally wear like cornrows, twists, etc. But to be honest, the style that Zahara is rocking (which you could call a freeform afro) is indeed a style. Maybe not how I would style my own child's hair, but a style nonetheless. Now, I don't know if Ms. Jolie tried to style it differently and wasn't successful or if she thinks it looks good just the way it is. As a white woman, she doesn't have the hair baggage that black women do and it may be good for Zahara to grow up without all that.

Zahara's hair looks clean and healthy to me. It may not be stylish by my standards but it's groomed. If I had a little girl, I might be more inclined to do things with her hair, but it wouldn't be a whole lot. It would probably be locked, not twisted but neat sections and folks would probably still have a lot to say. But I know from over a decade of wearing my hair natural, the less manipulation, the better. Find a good moisturizing shampoo, make sure you hair sees lots of water, get a good conditioner, and a nice light oil and that's basically it. I see plenty of little girls around here, as young as 2 years old, with fried hair or hair pulled back too tightly. I'd much rather see girls with hair that is left alone to do its own thing.

I have two boys who both have freeform dreadlocks. I *know* people look at them and make all kinds of wild assumptions about how they are cared for. Even my mother periodically entreats me to "do something to their hair". People have openly wondered why I "do this to them" especially since I don't "do it to myself". They don't know my story. Not even the half. So I've come not to care. And I hope Ms. Jolie doesn't care either.

The Danger of a Single Story

I found this on a great blog I recently discovered called flip flopping joy. It is a talk given by Chimamanda Adichie, author of Half of a Yellow Sun, one of my all-time favorite books, about the danger of taking a single story and making all kinds of extrapolations.

A Book Review, Chocolate Cupcakes and a (Minor) Yoga DVD complaint

A few weeks ago, a visitor to my blog sent me a lovely e-mail in which she recommended the book Zenzele. I put it on hold at the library and as soon as it came in, was thoroughly overjoyed to put aside the utter borefest that isThe God of Small Things to get into it. And my enthusiasm was well warranted.

This slim book is simply stunning. I loved it and highly, highly, highly encourage you to read it. It's a letter written by a mother to her daughter who is on her way to study at Harvard. It's tempting when reading this letter to forget that it is fictional especially since so much of what is being spoken about in the story actually happened in Rhodesia (Zimbabwe). It captures so much emotion and details so meticulously much of the mother's history. It tells the mother's story with poignancy and honesty. There is so much wisdom in this little book. It is indeed political and there are times when it does get a little heavy-handed with the warnings of "what you should not become" but that just lent tremendously to the air or authenticity because, after all, that is what mother's tend to be sometimes, i.e. overbearing and heavy-handed--just because of the sheer weight of a mother's love and the soul-deep desire to see your children happy, successful and fulfilled.

I tell you, I would just love to have such a letter written to me by my mother. It would explain to me the reasons for the things she does--the things I'm so critical of her for. It would explain what I perceive as her passivity, what I perceive as her being too humble, not ambitious enough, not strong enough. It would open a door of knowing.

I was deeply moved by this book. I have to share with you this one excerpt from page 185:

"I no longer see the world as ready-made, requiring only that we occupy our own little spot and do unto others as we would have them do unto us, as the taught me at the Sunday school in Chakowa Mision. Like your father, I am coming to understand that this world is as yet unfinished. There is no Eden here ave the one we create for one another. Our mission is to complete and preserve the work that was started. And that is why we are created in God's image."

One hundred thanks to the sister who recommended it to me.

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Over the weekend, we had the chance to hang out with some friends that we've met because we share the similar goal of homeschooling our boys. We visited Stone Barn Center for Food and Agriculture which is a working farm that raises animals humanely and the way they are supposed to be raised, i.e. out in the open field eating their natural diet. Read more about what they do here. It was so interesting learning about the animals they keep there and the cooperation between the farmers and the chefs in the restaurant.

We really enjoyed ourselves tremendously and to celebrate a bit late Z1's birthday and the birthday of one of the other boys that make up our informal homeschooling group, I made chocolate cupcakes.

Here's my recipe for chocolate cake. Double this recipe and you will get 2 dozen cupcakes. Reduce the baking time to about 25 minutes. And, why yes, I did pull out my tips and pastry bag and get to decorating. I can't wait till I have more time to practice cake decorating. I really enjoy it.

This is the frosting recipe I use (comes from The Vegan Chef) and it works well every time.

Vanilla Buttercream Frosting

1/2 cup soy margarine, softened
1/4 cup soy milk, rice milk, or other non-dairy milk of choice
3 cups Veganized Powdered Sugar
1 1/2 t. vanilla

Using an electric mixer or in a large bowl with a hand held mixer, place the soy margarine and soy milk, and cream them together. Add half of the sugar, and beat well to combine. Add the remaining ingredients and continue to beat the mixture until light and fluffy.

*Note: For a Berry Frosting, add 1/4 cups mashed fresh or frozen berries, such as raspberries, strawberries, or blueberries.

For a Chocolate Frosting, add 1/2 cups cocoa powder or 1/3 cups melted vegan chocolate chips.

For a Coffee Frosting, substitute cold coffee or espresso for the soy milk in the recipe.

For a Mocha Frosting, substitute cold coffee or espresso for the soy milk in the recipe and add 1/4-1/3 cup cocoa powder or 3-4 T. melted vegan chocolate chips.

You can also stir in chopped nuts, chopped vegan chocolate, shredded coconut, or chopped fruit into the basic Vanilla "Buttercream" Frosting recipe to create additional variations.

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And last, but not least, practicing yoga at night has been great for me. I'm much more flexible since I've been moving around in the day but I'm also in wind-down mode. So tonight I attempted to do MTV Yoga and it was horrible. The pace was way too fast and I found myself wanting to hold positions for much longer. By the time I got comfortably into a pose, the instructor was 3 poses ahead. Breathing, which by now has become very natural for me to do correctly while practicing, was forced and I kept forgetting. It was like aerobic yoga which is not what I am looking for in the evenings. I'm looking for a strong yoga routine that builds heat but that doesn't leave me light headed and tense. I guess in the early morning, I was more up for this kind of routine but for the night, it's a no go. So, I started tonight but didn't finish which is rather disappointing although it is what it is.

Mamas, help me out!

Z2 is waking up at all hours of the night. He wakes up crying and upset and will not be consoled even if I bring him into our bed. For the past few nights, he has literally be sleeping in my arms for hours. I thought we had gotten over this stage long ago. He's not looking to nurse. He just seems to have a difficult time staying asleep. He's 21 months. What could this be and what can I do? I am so sleep-deprived and now I feel another sinus thing coming on. I need to sleep!!! Help!!!

A few reviews and a few realizations

Okay, so ever since the hubby signed up for Netflix, I've been able to do a few workouts (DVDs that stream over the internet). Here's my (quick) review of them.

Self: Slim and Sleek Fast!

I did this one today and really enjoyed it. It had a lot of ballet type moves in it so it was a very graceful workout. I sweated a good amount without really knowing it (i.e. I didn't suffer through the workout). The instructor cued well and it was about 30-35 minutes in length. If I had one complaint, I'd say it was a bit too repetitive. Otherwise, this one is perfect for days when I don't want to go all out but I still want to feel something.

Crunch: Boot Camp Training

I thought this one was a lot of fun too. Like Self: Slim and Sleek Fast!, it wasn't the most intense workout ever, but I did sweat enough to call it a workout. The moves were varied, the instructor was enthusiastic and I felt strong after. Another 30-35 minute offering.

10 Minute Solution: Carb Burner

Though the instructor reminded me of a soccer mom, this workout really got your blood pumping. I can see now that I am moving on to being intermediate to advanced in my fitness level so this one, again, was not as intense as I could have handled. Still, it was fun and because each workout is 10 minutes, it was easy to stay engaged.

Crunch: CardioSculpt

Also a lot of fun mainly because the moves were ones that I have never seen before. I love the British instructor (LoL) and I had a good time doing this workout. Again, again, again, not as intense as I could have handled but definitely one to keep in the rotation.

Crunch: Super Slim Down

This workout combines yoga and pilates. It was fun but really only makes sense to do on a super, super light day. I enjoyed it though and look forward to doing it again.

Right now, my most challenging workout DVD is Women's Health Train for Your Body Type. When I am through with this workout, I *know* I have worked out. And I love it.

Those are the reviews. What are the realizations?

First, exercise is not enough for me. I have to change my diet to lose the weight. I know that means cutting down on carbs and increasing my lean protein. I tried to do turkey slices, I really did . . . I can't. It grosses me out. I haven't tried chicken and I don't want any prepared chicken (i.e. chicken already cooked that you just buy). But the hubby will not tolerate all out meat cooking in the house (he is tolerating fish and tuna right now but is super anal about me washing the pots and spoons well). If I'm going to eat chicken and turkey, it would have to be stuff that I cook like chicken soup and things like that.

Secondly, I really enjoy exercising at home using DVDs. As such, things like P90X are looking rather appealing to me. I know P90X comes with a whole eating plan and such . . . I wonder if I could swing it.

I'm also really pleased at the fact that my arms and shoulders are looking so much more shapely and cut up. Under the extra weight I'm carrying, I feel lots of muscle tone which is freaking great.

Also, on the silly side, it really tickles me when I see the background exercise people on certain DVDs as the front people on their own DVDs . . . it's even funnier to me when I realize they use the same names. I don't know . . . I guess it fun to see that they have what it takes to *really* do the workout (especially if the background exercise person was doing the modified/easy versions) of the workout.

That's it for tonight. I'm tired. Tons of poopy diapers today. And Z2 did not nap. Not once. Good night.

Gotta Love the Thrift Store

So today I dropped off two bags of clothes at the thrift store. Since it was half off day, I decided to run in and see if I could find a pair of corduroy pants. After a little searching, as luck would have it, not only did I find one pair, I found two pairs of size 12 corduroy pants by St. John's Bay. Both are cotton with a tiny bit of spandex which means that they fit fabulously. And they do fit rather nicely, I must say. One pair is dark brown and the other pair is a tan. Both of them together cost me about $8.00

Yay for a good thrifting day!!

I hope the person who gave these away lost weight and they didn't fit well anymore. And yay for the fact that I am solidly and officially a size 12 in most lines of clothing! Most of the clothes I gave away today are simply too big. And that's wonderful. :)

What's in a name?

Recently I have been contemplating changing my name. Well, maybe not changing it but adding a new first name.

I've been meaning for some time to blog about the difficulties that present itself when your name is totally foreign and, at that, difficult for many Americans to pronounce. It's like a running joke--any time someone pauses or gets a quizzical look on their face, it's my name they are trying to pronounce.

And now you're like, "Chi-Chi isn't hard to pronounce."

Well, Chi-Chi is only my nickname. My given, formal name is really a mouthful. Even the hubby can't get it out without stumbling and we've been together almost 7 years.

And I love my name, I do. It's elegant and full of meaning. It sounds beautiful. But practically speaking, it is a handicap. Since most people can't pronounce it easily, I'm often forced to give my nickname which often gets chuckles or makes people think of a stripper or a little cute kid. Or I have people call me Ms. (My last name), which is sometimes formal and stuffy.

If I were to change my name, it would still be something Igbo but something a bit more pronounceable such as Chioma or Amaka. But I don't know . . . re-naming myself doesn't feel genuine. I know a few African-Americans who have changed their names to throw off the name the slavemaster forced them to take and re-connect with their African roots. I get it. But changing a perfectly good name for convenience? I don't know.

And Igbo people do not name their children lightly! For Igbo people, an name is really a prediction and a prayer. My mother almost died giving birth to my baby brother who was born prematurely. The names they gave him reflected the fact that God did a miraculous thing in that both of them are alive till this day. And my name, which means God abides with me, is a testament to the fact that when I was born, my parents had only been in this country for only a few months. They knew no one and could rely on no one except for God. My middle name? "The one God has given me". My parents lost their first child, a son. In Igbo culture, names are extremely important. Very significant.

I suppose that even with a name like "Chi-Chi" most folks still do take me seriously. But I also realize that I do work hard to make sure I am taken seriously right off the bat. I don't giggle along when folks laugh and I'm quick to say it's a nickname which generally prompts the giggler to ask my real name. Then all the giggling usually stops.

Well, my name is really, really long as it is since I chose to hyphenate instead of drop my maiden name. I mean, how long can a name really be? But it would pain me to drop any of my names. And it would be a huge dishonor to my parents.

So what's in a name? Plenty.

Christianity and Yoga

So in my last post, I used a picture from a site called Inspired Woman Magazine. I went back to read the article that the picture was associated with and found an article entitled Christian Fitness: Should it Include Yoga?

Now, here is my disclaimer and my confession: I generally do not like Christians. There are a few that I have met that have been wonderful and I enjoy being around but invariably, I feel, there is a judgment thing going on with Christians. And I think that's part and parcel of the religion. Some Christians will say that God is the judge (when it comes to what happens to non-Christians after death) but then will also point to the "infallible" Word of God in terms of what happens if one refuses to accept Jesus as Lord and Savior. So, in other words, they *know* how God feels about things. The Christians I've liked and gotten along with so far will admit that they don't totally know the mind of God. They will acknowledge that there may be other spiritual paths just as valid as theirs.

And speaking as someone who grew up in a heavily Christian household, I know that I am biased against Christians and Christianity. I remember vividly being told when I was about 12 or 13 that yoga was basically evil. I wanted to ask questions but was silenced. It seemed as if anything that folks were ignorant about or that was different was called evil. Including (and maybe especially) our own indigenous religions.

But I digress . . .

Should Christians practice yoga? I guess that's something a Christian would have to seek God's face about. Yoga as it's presented in the West is a watered down version. It is indeed a whole philosophy and spirituality. Does that philosophy and spirituality stand at odds with Christianity? It depends on your brand of Christianity. But in my eyes, you can have a philosophy and a religion and the two might not be at odds. For example, you can have a philosophy of veganism and be Christian. You could ascribe to the philosophy of yoga and still be Christian. If you ate a vegan meal, I don't think that would cancel out or go against your faith? If you practiced yoga, I don't think that would go against your faith.

What is yoga anyway? I like this explanation the best. But yoga has also been described or defined as "union". I read somewhere that it is basically aligning yourself with God, the universe, etc. What I haven't read anywhere is that each pose is "in praise" of a different Hindu deity.

But isn't being a Christian simple? Isn't it to believe that Jesus Christ is the son of God, God Himself made manifest in the flesh, who came to die and whose blood is redemption and who by resurrecting on the third day conquered death and is now seated at the right hand of God? Isn't the work of a Christian to follow in Christ's path? It seems to me that yoga could be a legitimate way to work at your Christ-like-ness (for Christ exemplifies all the Yamas and Niyamas) and would not challenge your faith. To me, honestly, all these other add ons and rules that organized religions add on are just superfluous. Let's get to the root. Too many organized religions make it seem like there are 500,000 distractions (sent by the devil, of course) to get you off the narrow road. But according to the Bible, it's so simple to stay on the narrow road that a child could do it.

It's interesting how folks describe yoga as "new age". It's kind of like how "going green" is the "new black". I usually don't verbalize my thoughts on these things but it seems that all too often things originated by people of color are co-opted by White folks and given this new sheen, like it's the cool thing to do. As if there haven't been folks doing it forever and ever and ever. But what's more insulting is how so many times, there's not even a clear understanding of these practices and ways of being. It's not genuine. But be that as it may, it's what we often have here in the West. Many, many Westerners divorce the spiritual from the physical when it comes to yoga . . . so no, I don't see the problem with Christians practicing the physical aspects of yoga at all.

Well, I don't know if Christians should practice the spirituality of yoga (although it's been argued many times that there really is no separation) but I do know that if a Christian is interested, they should look to the root to get a real understanding of what yoga is just like they should look to the root to understand Christianity. They shouldn't rely on what someone tells them or what an article says. They should study. Be open-minded. Learn about it. And then see if it jibes with their own faith.

I ran across this blog which had some interesting insight.

Evening Yoga

Is fabulous! I really enjoyed tonight's yoga session. I did Living Room Yoga: Strengthen and Lengthen (my favorite yoga DVD, by the way). Since I've been moving about all day, I felt so limber and flexible. I got into the poses easily and I feel extra relaxed and strong right now. I was really able to focus since I wasn't rushing trying to finish before Z2 got up. This allowed me to get into myself more deeply and fine tune a lot of the poses. Even if aerobics and weight training don't work out so great for the evening, yoga will. Ahhh . . . namaste!

Photo courtesy of Inspired Woman Magazine.